Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious...are there any parents out there that actually trust their parents or in-laws to babysit, vacation, or otherwise take care of their kids for a short or extended period of time?
Yes, I know folks who have irresponsible, untrustworthy parents ...but are there more of those these days than when I was growing up (i'm in my 40's)
Maybe it's just this board that seems to speak to a proliferation of parents described as crazy and/or controlling and not fit for childcare.
Or is it this generation that is more controlling than our parents were and hesitant to put some slack in the apron strings??

Um, they raised three of us. Yes, I trust them. Jesus, what a stupid fucking question.

Since raising 4 of us, my father has become a sexual deviant. No, he will never have my children alone.

I would gladly let my uncle or aunt (opposite sides of the family) keep my children.

I do not trust my mother at all. She means well, but she is reckless and puts my daughter in dangerous situations. Although she was a good mother in a lot of ways, she did the same with us, and it is very scary. For instance, there are constantly pills on the floor of her house, and they will randomly pull out the circular saw in the middle of the patio when she is over on the patio to do a project that absolutely does not need to be done. We see her quite frequently, but I

Although there aren't a lot of opportunities, the couple of times I have left her with my dad, I have trusted him completely. He wasn't a very involved parent when I was growing up, but he has a good head on his shoulders and won't put her in harm's way. Now, I didn't leave her with him until she was about four as I don't really think he would have any idea what to do with a smaller kid.

I trust my in laws completely, except that I don't agree with their socio-political leanings, which have gotten very extreme. I had not a single concern when I left my five year old with them for a week, but she did come back repeating some things that I don't really want to be part of her life (mild and unknowing bigotry and homophobia). I wouldn't want her exposed to this on a regular basis, but we do enough to counter it that I just have to bite my tongue and let them be.

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who trust one set of grandparents more than the other - how do you deal with it? It is very awkward for us, and I can't come out and say the real reason DD is able to spend the night / drive / etc with my in-laws and not my parents.

My parents think they have things under control, but they are incredibly flighty. Numerous fender benders, one time they forgot to fasten the seatbelt properly...

Any hints or do I just need to put on my big girl panties and be honest?

I feel no need to tell one set what the other set is doing, and feel no need to treat them equally anyway. I wouldn't be shy about telling my father flat out that he doesn't give the level of supervision I feel DD needs in order to stay safe if he brought up wanting more time alone with her. It is what it is - if he wants to change things, he can. He won't convince me his way is fine until he changes his ways. I am not going to compromise my child's safety for an adult's feelings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Why the hell would your kid spend 1-2 overnights EVERY weekend?
Is there a reason you need so many breaks. Man I feel sad for that kid?
Are you in good health? If not then I apologize. Is your husband okay with that? My spouse would miss our kid too much.
Sounds like you are young and not realizing this kid needs YOU not your parents.
How old are you? I bet anything you won't answer that.

Considering I posted how old my parents were, I get where this one is going...a not so subtle dig at having kids in your 20s. Clever! We're early 30s. Perfectly healthy. And happy. So is our kid. Maybe you grew up in a different type of family, but I can't imagine having kids and feeling like them spending one on one time with my parents as an inferior choice. I actually really like my family and hanging out with them. We still see DC throughout the weekend because I'm hanging with my fam alot. I have it really good in that we can hang all day and then leave and hang with friends that evening. I get to workout, clean the house, run errands, etc so weeknights are fun. We're at the park til sunset.

Don't knock it til you try it!LOL

Nice lies. How old are your kids. You said your parents with MID to late 40s when you have your kids. So nice try. So you WERE INDEED in your 20's when you HAD your kids. Unless your parents had you at 15.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Why the hell would your kid spend 1-2 overnights EVERY weekend?
Is there a reason you need so many breaks. Man I feel sad for that kid?
Are you in good health? If not then I apologize. Is your husband okay with that? My spouse would miss our kid too much.
Sounds like you are young and not realizing this kid needs YOU not your parents.
How old are you? I bet anything you won't answer that.

Considering I posted how old my parents were, I get where this one is going...a not so subtle dig at having kids in your 20s. Clever! We're early 30s. Perfectly healthy. And happy. So is our kid. Maybe you grew up in a different type of family, but I can't imagine having kids and feeling like them spending one on one time with my parents as an inferior choice. I actually really like my family and hanging out with them. We still see DC throughout the weekend because I'm hanging with my fam alot. I have it really good in that we can hang all day and then leave and hang with friends that evening. I get to workout, clean the house, run errands, etc so weeknights are fun. We're at the park til sunset.

Don't knock it til you try it!LOL

I had mine in my twenties so no digs. You just sound young and like you prioritize friends before kids. You seem to place an usually high importance on your friends. weird.

So how many waking hours do you spend with the kids each week? I dare you to answer that with an actual number. I bet you dont.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Why the hell would your kid spend 1-2 overnights EVERY weekend?
Is there a reason you need so many breaks. Man I feel sad for that kid?
Are you in good health? If not then I apologize. Is your husband okay with that? My spouse would miss our kid too much.
Sounds like you are young and not realizing this kid needs YOU not your parents.
How old are you? I bet anything you won't answer that.

Considering I posted how old my parents were, I get where this one is going...a not so subtle dig at having kids in your 20s. Clever! We're early 30s. Perfectly healthy. And happy. So is our kid. Maybe you grew up in a different type of family, but I can't imagine having kids and feeling like them spending one on one time with my parents as an inferior choice. I actually really like my family and hanging out with them. We still see DC throughout the weekend because I'm hanging with my fam alot. I have it really good in that we can hang all day and then leave and hang with friends that evening. I get to workout, clean the house, run errands, etc so weeknights are fun. We're at the park til sunset.

Don't knock it til you try it!LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Why the hell would your kid spend 1-2 overnights EVERY weekend?
Is there a reason you need so many breaks. Man I feel sad for that kid?
Are you in good health? If not then I apologize. Is your husband okay with that? My spouse would miss our kid too much.
Sounds like you are young and not realizing this kid needs YOU not your parents.
How old are you? I bet anything you won't answer that.

Get a grip pp...
Some people have families they trust...and have open loving relationships...doesn't mean the parents are neglectful...u think the kid is begging to come home...
my kid BEGS TO GO TO GRAMMY OR GRANDMAS HOUSES...
She actually loves and enjoys them..
novel idea huh?

of course they love grandma's. I am sure the kids can sense you prefer to be away from them.

I AM THE pp who said get a grip....never the one posting about going to grandma's every week...they don't live close enough...but my kid still begs to go

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Why the hell would your kid spend 1-2 overnights EVERY weekend?
Is there a reason you need so many breaks. Man I feel sad for that kid?
Are you in good health? If not then I apologize. Is your husband okay with that? My spouse would miss our kid too much.
Sounds like you are young and not realizing this kid needs YOU not your parents.
How old are you? I bet anything you won't answer that.

Get a grip pp...
Some people have families they trust...and have open loving relationships...doesn't mean the parents are neglectful...u think the kid is begging to come home...
my kid BEGS TO GO TO GRAMMY OR GRANDMAS HOUSES...
She actually loves and enjoys them..
novel idea huh?

of course they love grandma's. I am sure the kids can sense you prefer to be away from them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Why the hell would your kid spend 1-2 overnights EVERY weekend?
Is there a reason you need so many breaks. Man I feel sad for that kid?
Are you in good health? If not then I apologize. Is your husband okay with that? My spouse would miss our kid too much.
Sounds like you are young and not realizing this kid needs YOU not your parents.
How old are you? I bet anything you won't answer that.

Get a grip pp...
Some people have families they trust...and have open loving relationships...doesn't mean the parents are neglectful...u think the kid is begging to come home...
my kid BEGS TO GO TO GRAMMY OR GRANDMAS HOUSES...
She actually loves and enjoys them..
novel idea huh?

I trust both my parents and the ILs.

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Why the hell would your kid spend 1-2 overnights EVERY weekend?
Is there a reason you need so many breaks. Man I feel sad for that kid?
Are you in good health? If not then I apologize. Is your husband okay with that? My spouse would miss our kid too much.
Sounds like you are young and not realizing this kid needs YOU not your parents.
How old are you? I bet anything you won't answer that.

PP here. Someone raised a good point about the ages of grandparents today. My parents were mid to late 40s when I had DC, so fully functioning and still "young". DC does 1-2 overnights almost every weekend. My grandmother wants to babysit, but I don't feel comfortable leaving DC because she's lost some mobility (early 70s now) and DC can be a handful. She's stayed at my grandparents for many a couple hours here and there so that they aren't offended, but not more than that. My granddad is also recovering from cancer.

Yes, I trust my parents completely with my child. They do a better than we do!lol

Those of you who trust one set of grandparents more than the other - how do you deal with it? It is very awkward for us, and I can't come out and say the real reason DD is able to spend the night / drive / etc with my in-laws and not my parents.

My parents think they have things under control, but they are incredibly flighty. Numerous fender benders, one time they forgot to fasten the seatbelt properly...

Any hints or do I just need to put on my big girl panties and be honest?

Anonymous wrote:I don't trust my MIL for long stretches of time. She actively disputes any rules I set. Even when I left written instructions about a feeding schedule she didn't follow it. (And I'm not talking about anything complicated, just approximate times for bottles, baby was screaming from hunger when I got home.) She does stuff like run through red lights with the baby in the stroller. She's not very good at soothing the baby and thinks it's funny or cute when she cries and screams.

She has very good intentions, but until my kid is able to walk and talk and fend for herself, I won't leave her with MIL for any extended period of time.

I have a very similar issues with my MIL, but she gets offended when I don't want to leave my child with her and involves DH to get her babysit.