Anonymous wrote:Missing one's youth is a foreign idea to me. These responses are interesting. It makes me wonder if I missed out on some spectacular aspect of being young.

Just compare a Saturday when you were unmarried and childless to a Saturday now, and you'll see the difference. Then - up at 10 to a leisurely breakfast. 3 hour bike ride. Nap and shower. Go out with friends to dinner, then drink more at someone's place. Totally carefree and selfish. Didn't you have Saturdays like that when you were young?

You are 36. You're still IN your youth. Gawd.

I think if you are 36 and wishing for this, you really need to evaluate your life.

What happens when you hit 40+?

Anonymous wrote:I am a 36YO mother of two. When I see twenty-somethings with their smooth skin and cute clothes, athletic bodies, etc. I feel sad that I am no longer that young. My hair is almost completely gray, my teeth are yellowing, my skin has lots of age spots, etc. My body isn't as flexible as it used to be, I don't have the athletic stamina that I used to...just 10 years ago, I was playing six or seven 90-minute soccer games a week -- a typical weekend would include three (and sometimes four) soccer games. I also find myself looking at my children, and their perfect little bodies, and I inwardly sigh at how perfect and young they are, and how old I am (and continue to get). I don't think that I will be one of those people who embraces the aging process...I think I will always look longingly on my earlier years. When I am 50, I'll probably look back to now and say "What the heck was I complaining about at 36?!" Does anyone else experience this?

50 year old here.

Yes, you will.

I wish I was 36!!!

OP, I feel you. Hitting 35 really put my body and mind through the wringer. I just had child #2, nothing bounced back the same way, and having 2 kids is even more anchoring than one. And I love my kids, of course, but its much harder on a logistical day to day basis. Its hard not to look back on my 20s and miss the lack of responsibility and freedom to be more self-centered. I even had a mini midlife crisis on that first warm day this summer, when these sense-memories of being in high school and just going out cruising with my friends and not giving a shit just came back with overwhelming force. Do I want to be 18 again? No. But that half-hormonal, half-carefree feeling is just gone, and its sad to realize that. I hope that once I am out of the weeds with my youngest (now 18 mo), I can focus a little more on me (trainer, fun time with husband, etc.).

I miss the feeling that amazing things were still possible. My life is definitely less exciting now. It's not boring and it's not bad, I'm just not in a growth phase now, more of a maintenance phase. (juggling house/yard/daughter/ full-time job.) I imagine things might get more interesting after my daughter leaves the nest and I retire.

I do miss my younger body sometimes. It can be weird to realize that those wrinkles are there forever, and that it's hard to recover from a really long/hard run now.

Missing one's youth is a foreign idea to me. These responses are interesting. It makes me wonder if I missed out on some spectacular aspect of being young.

OP, you may be feeling "old" now if your kids are still pretty young and taking it out of you physically. I felt pretty worn down when my kids were smaller. But now I'm 47, and they are 10.5 and almost 13, and I feel (and look) a lot better than I did five or eight years ago.

I'm in my mid-30s and happy with my life, but I do long for youth in the sense that I don't feel relevant at this age. I still follow hair and clothing trends, but now I have this niggling suspicion that I look like I'm trying too hard. I realized recently that my nieces aren't on Facebook anymore -- I suppose it's not cool. They text a mile a minute, while I struggle to keep up. Bands I've never heard of sell out shows at the 9:30 Club. It does make me feel wistful.

OP, I hear what you're saying, and I definitely do long for my youth. Mainly for the large amount of choices I had in my 20s which I don't have today. When I hear about college students choosing their major or starting their freshman year, I am wistful of the wide options of choices available to them. For instance, I long for my college days when I had every career option available to me and where exploring careers was encouraged. And then also having a ton of different options on where to live geographic-wise. As the decades go by, one's options for both career and geographic location start to narrow. Now, with a house/mortgage and careers here in this area, it becomes much harder to just pick up and move to another exciting city just for the experience. However, I don't have that many regrets regarding these two issues because I did go back to grad school in my early 30's, got a new master's degree in a totally different field, and am now working in that career and am very happy I made the change. Additionally, at age 30, DH and I made a major move from the city we had been in to a different city, just for the experience of living in a new and different city. So I am happy to have those experiences, and I know that making a major career change or moving to a new city can be done, it's just easier to do this when you're younger and not as tied down.

I also long for the carefree outlook I had in my 20s. While I did have some worries about some things, they were nowhere near the anxiety/worry I have now about a lot of different things.

Appearance-wise, yes, my hair is about 40% gray now, and my body has become doughy and middle-aged looking, but overall I don't long for my youth re: appearance. I think I would look more or less the same if I started coloring my hair and worked out with a trainer to address the doughy areas. It's more that I long for my youth for the breadth of choices available.

Can't wait to grow up, wish we were young again... I thought it was so common as to be cliche.

The thing we long for is freedom. When we are young we think adulthood will give us independence and money. When we are old we remember that youth gave us freedom from responsibility and health and energy that never gave out.

So ask yourself, what is freedom, really? Find that and you will be happy.

Anonymous wrote:I am a 36YO mother of two. When I see twenty-somethings with their smooth skin and cute clothes, athletic bodies, etc. I feel sad that I am no longer that young. My hair is almost completely gray, my teeth are yellowing, my skin has lots of age spots, etc. My body isn't as flexible as it used to be, I don't have the athletic stamina that I used to...just 10 years ago, I was playing six or seven 90-minute soccer games a week -- a typical weekend would include three (and sometimes four) soccer games. I also find myself looking at my children, and their perfect little bodies, and I inwardly sigh at how perfect and young they are, and how old I am (and continue to get). I don't think that I will be one of those people who embraces the aging process...I think I will always look longingly on my earlier years. When I am 50, I'll probably look back to now and say "What the heck was I complaining about at 36?!"
Does anyone else experience this?

Haven't read responses yet but OP, you are not old - 36 is still young! Of course, I'm 42 so it's all relative but most of my friends who are my age look and feel very good.
Gray hair and yellow teeth are an easy fix. I'm wondering if your loss of energy and stamina isn't more related to having two children - it really changes your life and your perspective, not to mention your energy level.

No. It helps that I was never hot in my 20's. I was an insecure mess back then despite being attractive and smart. Now, I'm married, settled, have a great home, husband and kids, tons of friends, fairly confident. I don't look too bad. Teeth whitening and hair coloring helped. I work out now and back then I rarely exercised. I also can afford good clothes which helps too. You couldn't pay me to be 25 again. My 20's pretty much sucked.

I am 37 and have to say that I'm pretty happy with my current life. I do occasionally recall my 20's with a small stir of longing but it is more that I had nowhere to be and nothing to do most of the time. While my life is busy now with three small kids, a DH and a wide variety of activities, it is really a fun life. I spend more time exercising now but I think my body looks better b/c I do spend more time on it. I may have a few more wrinkles but I'm a lot more confident. I will take the trade off.