Anonymous wrote:OP, are you in a small parochial school? Some of the advice you are receiving here is fine for small privates but the small parochial schools all have their own set of rules and culture.

OP here. Yes, it is a small parochial school. That I think is why (it sounds like) our contract is so different from the ones people described here -- ie, one-page and without the tuition binding date others described.

Do you have any advice based on this? I have thought about it and have decided that "playing hardball" (not my strong suit anyway) will be less effective than other methods.

OP, are you in a small parochial school? Some of the advice you are receiving here is fine for small privates but the small parochial schools all have their own set of rules and culture.

Yep, it was horrible. A trick I learned from another mom was that since there were always openings was to wait until you were really sure and then enroll. My friend enrolled sometime just a couple of weeks before the start of the school year. It kept her options open and she could hang on to her $ that much longer.

Anonymous wrote:Good luck OP. I know that at least our old school was rather mercenary about tuition refunds. At our school they fired the school's reverend and insisted that they pay the tuition for their kids, even though they no longer had the means to send them to the school.

Wow-- that's ruthless! My kids are in a parochial school and we don't even have a contract. We do put down a nonrefundable deposit but it's not excessive for most people in this area. We would not be liable for tuition if we backed out the day before school starts. Actually, our former neighbors who were also at the school moved midyear for job reasons and were not even responsible for the second half of the year tuition for their three kids.

I understand why independent schools have to protect themselves financially from dropping enrollment after budgets are done, but I've always felt if the spot can be filled, then they should offer an "out" from tuition. It sounds like your contract, although short, does spell out your commitment to paying tuition. Because you signed it they probably have you on the hook, but perhaps if you go to them personally they will make an exception given the circumstances.

Good luck OP. I know that at least our old school was rather mercenary about tuition refunds. At our school they fired the school's reverend and insisted that they pay the tuition for their kids, even though they no longer had the means to send them to the school.

Anonymous wrote:We pulled out post June 1 and got 75% of our tuition back. The school was not required to do so, and we thought we were going to have to pay the whole year. I pulled our child due to a safety concern, which I had assured would be remedied before school started, but I just couldn't get past the issue.

OP here. Thanks--that is me. I highly doubt anything will change; child's teacher did not even offer an apology or explanation for how a child could be injured on her watch without being attended to or without a parent being called.

Did you have to write a formal letter or consult an attorney?

OP here again. Thank you thank you thank you to the previous three posters for the terrific advice and perspective. Very helpful to me, indeed. I am a very risk-averse person myself, but that is more a personality trait than based on any professional experience. I am also very non-confrontational and tend to try to manage situations that bother me without making "trouble." In this case, though, I believe I have the backbone to deal with this head on 1) because it involves my kid and 2) because I believe my concerns are all valid.

Thank you again to all for your sympathy and advice. It is so much appreciated.

We pulled out post June 1 and got 75% of our tuition back. The school was not required to do so, and we thought we were going to have to pay the whole year. I pulled our child due to a safety concern, which I had assured would be remedied before school started, but I just couldn't get past the issue.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks everyone, for the information/advice and the sympathy. It has indeed been hard. There are many things we like but some incidents have been too difficult to ignore (one involves DC being injured while off-campus with his class and neither teachers not parent chaperones assisting DC or calling to let me know).

There is no language on the contract for "performance" deadline (I wish there were). Just the deadline of April 1 for us to sign the tuition agreement/re-enrollment form, with which we enclosed the deposit and signed, agreeing to pay the tuition over X number of payments. There is a discount if we pay the tuition in lump sum by July 1, which we opted not to do, instead opting for monthly payments starting September 1.

So why not call the school, and let them know that because of this incident, and the School's negligence, you simply do not feel safe letting your child return. Tell them you do not wish to sue them over this ncident, and will not insist on getting your depost back, but you assume they understand you will not be returning or paying full tuition. If not a Big 3-5 ( yes, I hate this term but here I think it is relevant) this should be enough to scare them. They'd rather not risk a lawsuit. Maybe you should consider hiring a lawyer to help you draft such a letter so it can be carefully worded, given the circumstances (i.e., the subtle but clear point that you will not sue them for negligence and in exchange they will not come after you for full tuition). Lawyer could also take a look at the contract and give an option on whether you are even contractually bound at this point for full tuition. Good luck!

OP if the school is in Maryland you can check this website for law suits. My child's school has one old lawsuit against someone for a breach of contract in an amount that seems like it could be tuition. It might give you an idea of the school is quick to sue.

http://casesearch.courts.state.md.us/inquiry/inquiry-index.jsp

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PP. I'm not sure how the school would perceive my citing this incident as the reason. This injury caused me to take a closer look at the circumstances that would have allowed that injury to happen, if that makes sense, and what I saw was absolutely an environment that would have allowed that to happen--ie, minimal supervision. It's the lax approach to supervision that caused me the most upset, as kids hurt themselves all the time even when standard safety procedures are in place. And when my DC was injured, not even basic first aid was administered.

Well, it sounds like you may have enough to try to float the equivalent of a "we are canceling our contract for cause" sort of argument. Perhaps you could also argue that the fact that the contract refers to your initial money as a "deposit" is an implicit recognition that you are not yet bound to pay the full amount. Contracts are construed against the drafter, so any ambiguity should work in your favor.

Good luck to you. I have a litigation background so I tend to be more risk-averse in some ways, and see the downsides of various situations, including threatening litigation. Somewhat counter-intuitive I know! Talk to your DH, sleep on it, see what happens.

Thanks PP. I'm not sure how the school would perceive my citing this incident as the reason. This injury caused me to take a closer look at the circumstances that would have allowed that injury to happen, if that makes sense, and what I saw was absolutely an environment that would have allowed that to happen--ie, minimal supervision. It's the lax approach to supervision that caused me the most upset, as kids hurt themselves all the time even when standard safety procedures are in place. And when my DC was injured, not even basic first aid was administered.

I am not trying to be a nay-sayer, or unkind, but we don't know that the incident you describe is really one that the school would believe would give rise to liability on its part. (And I'm not suggesting you share the details online -- your decision not to is a good one.) If a third party would see your reaction as overblown, the school may see a threat of litigation on your part as . . . a ploy to get out of your contract. And they might dig in their heels, in part so they do not get a reputation as caving in to litigation threats.

I would really try to explore whether the contract is binding at this point (since June 1 is so common as the binding date), and if you are unlucky on that front, try to explore ways to make it work for one final year. Never underestimate the stress, time, and expense of litigation, either.

OP here. Thanks again to all who replied, including the independent school administrator and the poster who shared the link with the schools and binding dates. Unfortunately our school is not on this list, but it indeed looks as if 6/1 is the standard "binding" date for the vast majority of schools listed there. I think that is compelling and a good date to aim for resolving this.

Thank you again to all who took the time to read and to help. I so wanted this to work out for DC and for us.

I agree with 20:01. There is a good reason why you want to withdraw, and it is because of the behaviour of the school. They are putting you through this, causing you stress and inconvenience, you have done nothing wrong. I would write to them explaining why you are withdrawing - go on the attack, take the higher ground. If they fear you may take legal action, or go to the media, they will want to placate you and avoid a fuss.