Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 10:43     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try apps if you have an ipad or tablet. They work great for learning the basics. Also, Leap Frog videos and Preschool Prep.


This is terrible advice.


Along with regular flash cards and books, my 3 year old is reading short books. It may be terrible to you but my kid knows his stuff. Now at 3, we are working on addition. Not sure how you would do it, but they are great videos and the apps are great as they are interactive. Far better than dumb mindless cartoons.


Are you saving for your kid's therapy bills in a few years? Or bracing yourself for how much he will resent you when he gets older?


+1

Also--DD learned how to read all on her own from the books we read to her. We never watched a special video or did flashcards or workbooks. She was reading chapter books at three, loving them, and comprehending them. She loves to read. I have seen kids who were taught (they way you describe) how to read at two-years-old, and they have to be goaded to read, have no inflection, and have trouble with comprehension. Some have ended up as reluctant readers by third grade.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 10:07     Subject: Re:My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He talks and reads books in his desk. I used to read books in my desk when I was in school and my teachers would recommend other books for me. And he gets in trouble for it.


Correct.he should be in trouble for it if the teacher hasn't allowed it. Your son hates school because you've set it up in his and your, minds that he is bored and shouldn't have to do menial tasks.



I guess reading is bad in school today. How dare he! And my son hates school all by himself. He knows what he already knows and does the best he can. My advice to the OP is to follow your child's interests but know that it is better that he learns at school. Schools were designed to teach the kids in the middle and it isn't a bad thing to be there.


You are being ridiculous. If he is not instructed to do free reading time, yes it is bad. Just as doing artwork during non designated art time is "bad". Part of school for the younger years is learning self control, following rules, etc. For what it is worth, my kindergartener (last year) got a perfect DRA2 score. She got her DRA score at a 28 last week (testing at the end of second grade. FCPS does not test beyond second grade). She still sits there quietly and pays attention when she already knows what is being taught. (She also can subtract any numbers - i.e. borrowing - and add any numbers - i.e. carrying - and knows 1/4 of the multiplication facts). I fully expect her to have good behavior. She has never - ever - said she is bored. I can tell from your post you completely excuse your kids behavior overtly or covertly. Its a shame for him. Oh - and no matter how bright your kid is, there is STILL a peer group. My kid may be in the highest math and reading groups - but she still has a peer group. Oh wait - yours doesn't, right?
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 10:07     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try apps if you have an ipad or tablet. They work great for learning the basics. Also, Leap Frog videos and Preschool Prep.


This is terrible advice.


Along with regular flash cards and books, my 3 year old is reading short books. It may be terrible to you but my kid knows his stuff. Now at 3, we are working on addition. Not sure how you would do it, but they are great videos and the apps are great as they are interactive. Far better than dumb mindless cartoons.


Are you saving for your kid's therapy bills in a few years? Or bracing yourself for how much he will resent you when he gets older?
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 10:06     Subject: Re:My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a bright child who is now in 2nd grade, I can tell you I wish my son was more of an average child. He basically taught himself to read when he was 3 yrs old. So he was reading chapter books by the time he started K. The vast majority of other kids weren't. So he rarely was ever taught at his level. Well, he was never taught at his level. He has spend 3 years fooling around at school and getting in trouble for it. I'll take an average child any day b/c my son thinks school is pure torture. Not a good thing when you go everyday for many many more years.


Maybe is fooling around is more of a parenting issue than an bright child issue. Wow. Your kid is our normal here. Several of the three year olds in our preschool are reading and have other basic skills. Some of it is just exposure at school and home. My kid one day just told us he will read the book, not us and he did. It shocked us. I don't think he's any brighter than any other child, but it would be nice to think he is. We spend a lot of time working with him as he enjoys it.


You do realize that many 3 yo's can "read" books they know by heart, right? Try giving your child a book he has never seen and you'll see how well your kid can "read." Give me a break, honey. My kid can do this too and he can't read, so get over yourself.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 10:05     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:My daughter is probably totally average, which I am absolutely fine with. But at this age, I notice that the supposedly "exceptionally bright" kids have parents who ride their ASS in order to get them to achieve some arbitrary goal that does little to benefit the kid, but is ensured to make others look at the mom and go, "Wow, her kid can do THAT!?" I know way too many SAHMs who send their kid to preschool 2-3x a week, then drill their kids when they're at home on writing their name (3 year olds!), drawing, cutting, learning "negative space" on a page, all kinds of stuff like that. I am not willing to do this to my 3 year old.

A girl I know recently told me she made her 3.5 year old daughter sit down and write her name out on 10 teacher cards. The daughter cried because she hates doing it and the mom still made her. Excuse me, WHY does a 3.5 year old need to know how to write their name out 10x? They don't. It's purely for the mom's ego. If a kid shows a natural interest in numbers, then sure, stroke that. But to sit down and make your 3 year old do worksheets and match letters so you can tell everyone "My 3 year old can match upper and lowercase letters!"? Dumb. DUMB.

My 3 year old is going to be a kid as long as she can. Next year she will be in kindergarten and that's it- school for the next 15 years. Let her do all that crap THEN. No kid is going to get to second grade and not know how to write their name, so why do I care if she can do it at 3 vs 5? It almost all evens out in the end and they end up right around each other in terms of intelligence and capability. I am not going to drive my child to tears practicing skills she does not need to know at 3.5 just to satisfy some strange need to be seen as the parent of an "exceptional child."


Amen, lady! Same here. Although I would add to your last sentence that there are public preschool teachers in DC who get all up in arms about those kinds of skills, too. My reaction now is to smile sweetly and say "that's interesting. We'll think about it." And then promptly let what they said fall out my left ear.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 09:57     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
I think my DD is really smart. Thank god that comes from my husband and his family cause I'm not (nor my family are the sharpest tools in the shed).
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 09:11     Subject: Re:My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a bright child who is now in 2nd grade, I can tell you I wish my son was more of an average child. He basically taught himself to read when he was 3 yrs old. So he was reading chapter books by the time he started K. The vast majority of other kids weren't. So he rarely was ever taught at his level. Well, he was never taught at his level. He has spend 3 years fooling around at school and getting in trouble for it. I'll take an average child any day b/c my son thinks school is pure torture. Not a good thing when you go everyday for many many more years.


Maybe is fooling around is more of a parenting issue than an bright child issue. Wow. Your kid is our normal here. Several of the three year olds in our preschool are reading and have other basic skills. Some of it is just exposure at school and home. My kid one day just told us he will read the book, not us and he did. It shocked us. I don't think he's any brighter than any other child, but it would be nice to think he is. We spend a lot of time working with him as he enjoys it.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 09:03     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try apps if you have an ipad or tablet. They work great for learning the basics. Also, Leap Frog videos and Preschool Prep.


This is terrible advice.


Along with regular flash cards and books, my 3 year old is reading short books. It may be terrible to you but my kid knows his stuff. Now at 3, we are working on addition. Not sure how you would do it, but they are great videos and the apps are great as they are interactive. Far better than dumb mindless cartoons.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 08:45     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Your kid sounds perfectly normal, OP.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 08:43     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
My children may not be exceptionally bright, but they are exceptionally kind, and everybody loves them for that.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 08:20     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter. Being "smart" has little to do with future success. I would rather my child value perseverance and working hard than be a genius. I have cousins who are brilliant but are skating by in life and accomplishing very little because they don't have those traits.


This. I have a genius IQ and I never had much luck in my career a d was lazy about school and work. Now a sahm. My 3 year old knows some letters and some numbers. Didn't know his colors until a month or two ago. He laughs easily, sticks up for his little friends on the playground, is very affectionate with DH, toddler DD, and me, and loves to sing and dance. I couldn't be happier with where he is. I have no idea yet if be will be smart, average, or below average, but I know he is an awesome kid!


+1 to everything! (Except I have only daughters.)

My deepest hope in life is that I can encourage my kids to figure out what they love, and then watch them find way to spend their lives doing that thing. Sometimes, being "exceptionally bright" is a major hindrance: you become confused about what you actually enjoy doing, because you receive rewarding feedback after doing many things you don't enjoy but happen to be good at, thanks to your intellect. Not to mention: I may have learned to read at age 2 myself, but one day I looked around me in school and realized everyone else also knew how to read, and not only that, but the ones who had to struggle to learn to read had developed qualities I myself was lacking (that PPs mentioned above).
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 08:07     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
My kid is smart or the school gives out the awards easily.Well, the problem is, his parents are not so smart.So at the end it probably evens out with not so smart kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 08:03     Subject: My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
My daughter is probably totally average, which I am absolutely fine with. But at this age, I notice that the supposedly "exceptionally bright" kids have parents who ride their ASS in order to get them to achieve some arbitrary goal that does little to benefit the kid, but is ensured to make others look at the mom and go, "Wow, her kid can do THAT!?" I know way too many SAHMs who send their kid to preschool 2-3x a week, then drill their kids when they're at home on writing their name (3 year olds!), drawing, cutting, learning "negative space" on a page, all kinds of stuff like that. I am not willing to do this to my 3 year old.

A girl I know recently told me she made her 3.5 year old daughter sit down and write her name out on 10 teacher cards. The daughter cried because she hates doing it and the mom still made her. Excuse me, WHY does a 3.5 year old need to know how to write their name out 10x? They don't. It's purely for the mom's ego. If a kid shows a natural interest in numbers, then sure, stroke that. But to sit down and make your 3 year old do worksheets and match letters so you can tell everyone "My 3 year old can match upper and lowercase letters!"? Dumb. DUMB.

My 3 year old is going to be a kid as long as she can. Next year she will be in kindergarten and that's it- school for the next 15 years. Let her do all that crap THEN. No kid is going to get to second grade and not know how to write their name, so why do I care if she can do it at 3 vs 5? It almost all evens out in the end and they end up right around each other in terms of intelligence and capability. I am not going to drive my child to tears practicing skills she does not need to know at 3.5 just to satisfy some strange need to be seen as the parent of an "exceptional child."
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 07:46     Subject: Re:My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
WIth all this talk about incredibly bright toddlers reading at 2, etc, makes me wonder whether my kid is normal or 'slow.


Parenting is not a competitive sport, where reaching milestones earlier or later makes you a better parent. Be careful not to set your expectations for you child so low that he reaches down to them rather than up. It feels like your child is a disappointment to you from reading your post. Not sure if that's what you intended, but if you have this mindset, it will be damaging to your child.

Most 3.5 year olds can't read. It's normal to confuse B and D. Knowing all of their letters by 3.5 doesn't mean that a chld is going to be more successful in their future. Read some books on early childhood development.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2013 07:43     Subject: Re:My child is not exceptionally bright. Maybe not even that bright.
I guess reading is bad in school today. How dare he! And my son hates school all by himself. He knows what he already knows and does the best he can. My advice to the OP is to follow your child's interests but know that it is better that he learns at school. Schools were designed to teach the kids in the middle and it isn't a bad thing to be there.


YAWN!