Although actually the legal age of consent in Maryland and DC is 16. In Virginia it's 18.

If you are serious -- tell your son at 17 he is (almost) an adult. Say that you see him around the 22 neighbor a lot and are wondering. Say that the legal age of consent is 18, and that if anything happens that she could get in a LOT of trouble, so, for her sake, if he thinks that anything might happen, hold off for another few months.

discouraging a teen ...

OP,

Why would you discourage this? Plus discourage a teen is often counterproductive. This sounds healthy. He's going to college, correct? He could befriend a graduate student, even date her, with the same age difference.

If she's 22, is she finished with college? Might she be going to school next fall?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

How do you allow a crush? Why does this bother you so much? Are they spending time together? I'm not understanding your concern. My son is 16 so I'm familiar with the age.

Op here: by not discouraging it, I feel like I'm allowing it.

And yes. They do spend time together. We live in a very close knit neighborhood. If he sees her outside, he always goes up to her and starts talking to her. Or he'll go over and sit on her porch with her for a while. He even goes with her to take her little brother to the park sometimes.

What would you do? Tell him he's not allowed to talk to her? Then what would happen?

If you're concerned, talk to him. Say, "Son, it seems that you might be interested in [neighbor], and this concerns me, because [reasons]." And, for what it's worth -- if it were me, I would try very hard to make the [reasons] sound nothing at all like "I'm worried the little floozy will break your innocent heart."

OMG! This sounds so sweet! Let your son enjoy it, whatever this is.

Anonymous wrote:OP,

How do you allow a crush? Why does this bother you so much? Are they spending time together? I'm not understanding your concern. My son is 16 so I'm familiar with the age.

Op here: by not discouraging it, I feel like I'm allowing it.

And yes. They do spend time together. We live in a very close knit neighborhood. If he sees her outside, he always goes up to her and starts talking to her. Or he'll go over and sit on her porch with her for a while. He even goes with her to take her little brother to the park sometimes.

Turning things around: I was a 16 year old girl when a 22 year old neighbor expressed an interest and we began dating. My mom thought it was great, he's older and more responsible. How she could've thought that was okay is beyond me. Of course I lost my virginity to him.