Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

Mother is a noun that describes a relationship. We are all FT mothers.

You are insecure, it seems.

Parenting is a verb, and an action verb, in fact.

Parenting is not a feeling you have while you're sitting at a desk 50 hours a week. That's why someone else has to do the actual work if you don't do it.

Only in the last twenty years or so. In any case, see:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/parent

Where used as a verb it means ": to be or act as the parent of :" - not a "feeling" as you say. A fact of being or acting. Wherever a parent is, then, s/he is parenting (if you think using it as a verb is acceptable) or is a parent (indisputable as a noun).

See also:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parent

Sure. Hence the "absentee parent" syndrome.

How are your posts helpful to OP?

Seriously, pps, take your lame little battles elsewhere. Some of us are interested in the actual topic of the thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

Mother is a noun that describes a relationship. We are all FT mothers.

You are insecure, it seems.

Parenting is a verb, and an action verb, in fact.

Parenting is not a feeling you have while you're sitting at a desk 50 hours a week. That's why someone else has to do the actual work if you don't do it.

Only in the last twenty years or so. In any case, see:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/parent

Where used as a verb it means ": to be or act as the parent of :" - not a "feeling" as you say. A fact of being or acting. Wherever a parent is, then, s/he is parenting (if you think using it as a verb is acceptable) or is a parent (indisputable as a noun).

See also:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parent

Sure. Hence the "absentee parent" syndrome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

Mother is a noun that describes a relationship. We are all FT mothers.

You are insecure, it seems.

Parenting is a verb, and an action verb, in fact.

Parenting is not a feeling you have while you're sitting at a desk 50 hours a week. That's why someone else has to do the actual work if you don't do it.

Only in the last twenty years or so. In any case, see:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/parent

Where used as a verb it means ": to be or act as the parent of :" - not a "feeling" as you say. A fact of being or acting. Wherever a parent is, then, s/he is parenting (if you think using it as a verb is acceptable) or is a parent (indisputable as a noun).

See also:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parent

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

Mother is a noun that describes a relationship. We are all FT mothers.

You are insecure, it seems.

Parenting is a verb, and an action verb, in fact.

Parenting is not a feeling you have while you're sitting at a desk 50 hours a week. That's why someone else has to do the actual work if you don't do it.

OP- I found 2 children much harder than 1 child. I am a gov't lawyer- which helps a lot. But initially I was in a position that required a lot of overtime. I got support for 'mommy tracking' it, and moved into a less intense position. I still work full time- but I telework 2-3 days a week. For me this makes a world of difference-- I don't have commuting time. I can fold laundry while I am on the phone. Once we started sleeping regularly through the night- that makes a big difference too.

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

Mother is a noun that describes a relationship. We are all FT mothers.

You are insecure, it seems.

Duly noted! No need to flog the SAHM/full-time parent "dead horse" any further. If anyone would like to continue the fulltime/part-time parenting conversation please move that discussion to the Parenting Forum. Now, let's get back to the OP's question.

All this WOH/SAHM crap is not material to the OP's post. She is asking how moms that are attorneys do it, not whether it is better to SAH or WOHM in general, or who is a better parent, etc. If you don't have something relevant to her question, take the debate elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:Why are SAHMs posting in this thread? Or on the Jobs and Careers board at all? Go talk about your full-time parenting job elsewhere and let people with actual jobs and careers post here.

While I personally am not a FT parent, I have no problem with the fact that taking good care of a young child, is indeed a real job. You who claim it isn't, haven't much done it. Or you tried it a bit, and found it too hard and unrewarding.
Even though many of us have other priorities, we have no right to belittle the sacrifices being made by those who are raising the children.

Why are SAHMs posting in this thread? Or on the Jobs and Careers board at all? Go talk about your full-time parenting job elsewhere and let people with actual jobs and careers post here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

The difference between work and being a parent is that work is a job. I don't look at parenting as a job. Among other things, you won't get fired for being a bad parent. So basically, in your opinion, when a parent is away from his or her child working, he or she is no longer the child's parent. A caregiver watching a working parent's child is the child's parent and, thus is also a part-time parent.

If you feel that parenting is not a job, what is it? A hobby, for those who enjoy it?

Why is it that parents (of young children not yet in school), who are absent 50 hours a week,
must "hire" a substitute, to do the actual work of parenting?

Whoever told you that parenting is not a job,
was dead wrong.

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

The difference between work and being a parent is that work is a job. I don't look at parenting as a job. Among other things, you won't get fired for being a bad parent. So basically, in your opinion, when a parent is away from his or her child working, he or she is no longer the child's parent. A caregiver watching a working parent's child is the child's parent and, thus is also a part-time parent.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure this topic has been done to death, but seriously-- how do you do it? I'm three months back from maternity leave with my second child, working at an 80% schedule and barely hanging on. Not biglaw either, just medium law. I have no idea how I'm going to make my reduced hours requirement this year or next year when I will be expected to return to a full schedule. Seriously thinking of quitting and starting an in-home daycare or something. I know I'm sleep-deprived now, but I just can't see this working for the next five years at least. I don't really want to leave the workforce permanently, but I don't want to spend the next few years in exhausted misery, either. Support?

I think 3 mos back might be a low point. Once they sleep through the night, go to bed earlier, and you're not breastfeeding, things will get easier. That said -- I do rely on DH to do as much as he can at home. For us, that means he picks up from daycare, he handles the nighttime routine if I have to work late. In the morning, we reverse -- I do everything so he can sleep late or go in to work early. We can both do everything alone if we have to.

That said, I also considered quitting, and even as you said, running an in-home daycare! If you're in DC, I don't see how you could do it unless you have a masters in early childhood education or years of experience in paid childcare work in addition to your JD. (See http://nrckids.org/STATES/DC/districtofcolumbia.htm ) So I think I'll stick with law for now!

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent.

So are all dads who WOH "part time parents"?? I never considered my dad to be a part time parent even though for my whole life he has worked (outside the home) full time. He'd be offended by the notion, as would my husband, as am I. Parenting is more than providing childcare.