Anonymous
04/11/2013 17:49
Subject: First two sons were circumcised, thinking of opting out for third. Any btdt parents ?
Anonymous wrote:My friend has four brothers. The older two are circumcised, the younger two (when her parents became more educated on the matter) are not. The youngest (now in their 20s) are very grateful to their parents for leaving them intact and it was never an issue for them growing up.
Please don't do his because you think it is the social norm. It's pretty major damage to the penis without any real health benefits or any reason to do this. It's also not really your decision to make. Leave it up to your son. My husband (before I was even pregnant) was in favor of circumcision. I made it very clear that I would press charges against anyone who surgically removed part of any son of mine's penis and he realized how strongly I felt. Then he learned a little more about the process and the lack of medical support for the procedure and now he doesn't even remember that he had previously been in favor of it. (I've overheard him playing with my youngest during diaper changes, laughing with him and praising him for "being lucky" that he has "his whole penis".)
How do you know how the younger 2 feel? Do you really discuss these things? Very odd
Anonymous
04/11/2013 17:31
Subject: First two sons were circumcised, thinking of opting out for third. Any btdt parents ?
jindc wrote:Yes, I'm Jewish - I've been a sandak.
My DH decided to have the surgery at 18 first and foremost because he felt cheated as a Jew. He was born in Israel, has a strong Jewish identify, and felt like his father's often typical religious hatred (in Israel) played a big role in it. Secondly, it was painful - tight foreskin.
And growing up, he was never taught proper care right away because his father didn't have a foreskin and had no idea. So if you have tight foreskin, and it's uncomfortable...guess what, you don't know if it's normal or not because your father has no idea.
I"m not opposed to hearing anything - say whatever you want about the practice. It doesn't change the fact that as Jews, we're going to do what we're raise our children in that tradition. If, at 18, they're upset with how they were raised, they are welcomed to take care of themselves. Odd how rarely that happens though!
Except they can't put their penis back together the way your DH could make the adult choice to circ. It is estimated that fewer than 1% of all men actually require circ as adults. Maybe your DH was the less than one % or maybe he had phimosis from improper care. For most kids it is not a huge deal. I knew a guy with a "botched" circ who had some pain and my nephew had an infection from it. I think it is rare for kids to die, but they do suffer when you do it. Do what you want, just don't kid yourself that your baby will not feel the same suffering your DH felt when he had it done. There are loads of credible, peer reviewed studies that have looked at the cry pitch and cortisol release during circ who can tell you it is painful for baby, even when they use EMLA or other local, anything else is risky, and the kid is in pain for about 10 days. This is real stuff. So do it if you want, but it is a big deal for your baby for that week or 10 days that he suffers.
Anonymous
04/11/2013 17:23
Subject: First two sons were circumcised, thinking of opting out for third. Any btdt parents ?
jindc wrote:Yes, I'm Jewish - I've been a sandak.
My DH decided to have the surgery at 18 first and foremost because he felt cheated as a Jew. He was born in Israel, has a strong Jewish identify, and felt like his father's often typical religious hatred (in Israel) played a big role in it. Secondly, it was painful - tight foreskin.
And growing up, he was never taught proper care right away because his father didn't have a foreskin and had no idea. So if you have tight foreskin, and it's uncomfortable...guess what, you don't know if it's normal or not because your father has no idea.
I"m not opposed to hearing anything - say whatever you want about the practice. It doesn't change the fact that as Jews, we're going to do what we're raise our children in that tradition. If, at 18, they're upset with how they were raised, they are welcomed to take care of themselves. Odd how rarely that happens though!
Proper care of the intact penis is not a secret or mystery. Even single mothers, who obviously have no penis at all, can teach care - just like dads are capable of teaching their daughters proper care. The care itself is extremely simple: don't mess with it. Only wash the outside. Once the boy hits puberty and the foreskin is retractable, he may gently rinse underneath.
All foreskins are "tight" in boyhood. They are designed that way to protect the penis. No one should beanipulating the foreskin at all; in fact doing so could cause scarring which actually could present a long-term problem. If a boy makes it through puberty and the normal methods (typically self-stimulation) dont allow easy retraction, there are creams which will help.
I don't understand why you took so long to state your real perspective: you are Jewish, so naturally your inclination. Would be towards cutting. The rest of your arguments are pretty weak.
jindc
04/11/2013 17:11
Subject: First two sons were circumcised, thinking of opting out for third. Any btdt parents ?
Yes, I'm Jewish - I've been a sandak.
My DH decided to have the surgery at 18 first and foremost because he felt cheated as a Jew. He was born in Israel, has a strong Jewish identify, and felt like his father's often typical religious hatred (in Israel) played a big role in it. Secondly, it was painful - tight foreskin.
And growing up, he was never taught proper care right away because his father didn't have a foreskin and had no idea. So if you have tight foreskin, and it's uncomfortable...guess what, you don't know if it's normal or not because your father has no idea.
I"m not opposed to hearing anything - say whatever you want about the practice. It doesn't change the fact that as Jews, we're going to do what we're raise our children in that tradition. If, at 18, they're upset with how they were raised, they are welcomed to take care of themselves. Odd how rarely that happens though!
My DH decided to have the surgery at 18 first and foremost because he felt cheated as a Jew. He was born in Israel, has a strong Jewish identify, and felt like his father's often typical religious hatred (in Israel) played a big role in it. Secondly, it was painful - tight foreskin.
And growing up, he was never taught proper care right away because his father didn't have a foreskin and had no idea. So if you have tight foreskin, and it's uncomfortable...guess what, you don't know if it's normal or not because your father has no idea.
I"m not opposed to hearing anything - say whatever you want about the practice. It doesn't change the fact that as Jews, we're going to do what we're raise our children in that tradition. If, at 18, they're upset with how they were raised, they are welcomed to take care of themselves. Odd how rarely that happens though!