FWIW I have always struggled with my weight, lost a lot (70+ lbs) then started IVF. Between the drugs and it being able to follow my normal 6 time a week vigorous workout schedule has sucked for me mentally and physically. I really think if you don't know someone's circumstances, it's none of business. I am overweight now but am still pregnant and will prib be in maternity pants soon largel because I don't want to keep buying a size up when maternity pants might solve the problem. never saw myself as lazy, just medically limited in the last few months in order to actually get pregnant. Hopefully my friends/coworkers aren't judging.
To OP....it was a little rude of the midwife but I'd move on and chalk it up to poorly chosen words...unless its a pattern of disrespectful statements. Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months in comfy pants!

I'm slim, I exercise 6 times a week, and I started wearing maternity pants at 7 weeks (3rd pregnancy) because they're so much more comfortable. It has nothing to do with being fat or not. Maternity pants rule! And I love how cute and feminine maternity tops are.

Anonymous wrote:^ I don't think that working out and eating sensibly means that I have never had to struggle. Quite the contrary. And to the PP who questioned my brains, how dismal it is that you don't think a woman who takes good care of her body cannot also be intelligent. I mean, if you choose to eat McD's and other fast food on a regular basis and never, ever work out, to the point of bragging about it, yes, I am going to get the impression that you are lazy.

PP, save it. The jury has spoken and we all think you stink.

Signed,

very thin woman.

^ I don't think that working out and eating sensibly means that I have never had to struggle. Quite the contrary. And to the PP who questioned my brains, how dismal it is that you don't think a woman who takes good care of her body cannot also be intelligent. I mean, if you choose to eat McD's and other fast food on a regular basis and never, ever work out, to the point of bragging about it, yes, I am going to get the impression that you are lazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 20 weeks, just told people and they were shocked. I fit into regular pants still. Not my first baby, either. So, I think 16 weeks is early and my colleague is at that point, already wearing maternity pants on her first baby and I secretly chalk it up to her being chubby and lazy. But I am not her midwife, I would never say that to her and no, a medical provider should probably not say that either. But at the end of the day, every woman has a different body and our bodies react differently to pregnancy.

That doesn't even quality as a humble brag.

It wasn't meant to be a brag, really. I was being honest. Shrug.

My point is, no matter what anyone (including and especially someone caring for your health/well-being during pregnancy) thinks about your physique/comfortable clothing choice during pregnancy, he/she should butt out and keep lips zipped unless it is relevant to you and/or your baby's health.

And btw, the person I know is in fact kinda chubby, she was before pregnancy and no, she does not work out or follow a sensible diet...I didn't say that I think that of everyone wearing maternity clothes at that point or earlier, but in this case, it applies. Again, my point is that I would not comment on her choice to wear elastic and neither should her mid-wife as long as she is reasonably healthy.

It's your reference to your colleague as "chubby and lazy" that's the most obnoxious, frankly. I take it you're one of those women who's never had to struggle with your weight. How wonderful for you. For those of us that constantly struggle with our weight, the idea of being called "lazy" because we're not skinny is just absurd. You may be thin, but I guess you didn't get the brains in your family.

Yeah, nice try PP but you didn't fool anyone with your backtracking. It's the "I think 16 weeks is early" blanket statement about women on pregnancy #2 that gave you away btw, the coworker stuff just reveals your judgmental side.

I feel bad for you and the body issues you'll undoubtedly pass on to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 20 weeks, just told people and they were shocked. I fit into regular pants still. Not my first baby, either. So, I think 16 weeks is early and my colleague is at that point, already wearing maternity pants on her first baby and I secretly chalk it up to her being chubby and lazy. But I am not her midwife, I would never say that to her and no, a medical provider should probably not say that either. But at the end of the day, every woman has a different body and our bodies react differently to pregnancy.

That doesn't even quality as a humble brag.

It wasn't meant to be a brag, really. I was being honest. Shrug.

My point is, no matter what anyone (including and especially someone caring for your health/well-being during pregnancy) thinks about your physique/comfortable clothing choice during pregnancy, he/she should butt out and keep lips zipped unless it is relevant to you and/or your baby's health.

And btw, the person I know is in fact kinda chubby, she was before pregnancy and no, she does not work out or follow a sensible diet...I didn't say that I think that of everyone wearing maternity clothes at that point or earlier, but in this case, it applies. Again, my point is that I would not comment on her choice to wear elastic and neither should her mid-wife as long as she is reasonably healthy.

It's your reference to your colleague as "chubby and lazy" that's the most obnoxious, frankly. I take it you're one of those women who's never had to struggle with your weight. How wonderful for you. For those of us that constantly struggle with our weight, the idea of being called "lazy" because we're not skinny is just absurd. You may be thin, but I guess you didn't get the brains in your family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 20 weeks, just told people and they were shocked. I fit into regular pants still. Not my first baby, either. So, I think 16 weeks is early and my colleague is at that point, already wearing maternity pants on her first baby and I secretly chalk it up to her being chubby and lazy. But I am not her midwife, I would never say that to her and no, a medical provider should probably not say that either. But at the end of the day, every woman has a different body and our bodies react differently to pregnancy.

That doesn't even quality as a humble brag.

It wasn't meant to be a brag, really. I was being honest. Shrug.

My point is, no matter what anyone (including and especially someone caring for your health/well-being during pregnancy) thinks about your physique/comfortable clothing choice during pregnancy, he/she should butt out and keep lips zipped unless it is relevant to you and/or your baby's health.

And btw, the person I know is in fact kinda chubby, she was before pregnancy and no, she does not work out or follow a sensible diet...I didn't say that I think that of everyone wearing maternity clothes at that point or earlier, but in this case, it applies. Again, my point is that I would not comment on her choice to wear elastic and neither should her mid-wife as long as she is reasonably healthy.

I wish started sooner. Maternity wear basically cured me of my reflux problems.

My OB said the same thing at my 16 week check. She was giving me fashion advice about how I should wear the Bella band with my pants. She just could not understand that the Bella band kept sliding around at work- I am a K teacher. I really hated her. She scared me by saying my stomach was too big and the baby's shoulder was going to come of its socket during birth. She had no reason to say this- my fundal height was normal and she had no ultrasound in her office to take any guesstimates. I ended up having a very easy birth (3 pushes, no stitches) and a normal weight baby.

Maybe she meant it like, you don't look like you've gained much weight, you probably don't need them yet. Does that make sense? Like maybe she wasn't being snarky in the sense you thought she was being snarky, but more like, can't believe you spent money on that when you don't need it yet. Either way, not really her business, but one connotation is much different than the other.

Anonymous wrote:I am 20 weeks, just told people and they were shocked. I fit into regular pants still. Not my first baby, either. So, I think 16 weeks is early and my colleague is at that point, already wearing maternity pants on her first baby and I secretly chalk it up to her being chubby and lazy. But I am not her midwife, I would never say that to her and no, a medical provider should probably not say that either. But at the end of the day, every woman has a different body and our bodies react differently to pregnancy.

That doesn't even quality as a humble brag.

I'd wear maternity pants not pregnant.

Anonymous wrote:There is another way to look at this comment, as in, "When you came in, you looked really slender, so I'm surprised to see that you are wearing maternity pants given how small your baby bump is." That might actually be more likely, because if you looked big from a distance, she wouldn't have been surprised to see maternity pants and would be less likely to say something. In general, 16 weeks seems a tid on the early side, but certainly not unheard of, and why be uncomfortable or risk stretching out your regular pants?

Good point. Anyone can put their foot in their mouth. I walked into a meeting with my closest pal at work--first person I told about my pregnancy, mom of 2, is handing down tons of stuff to us, great friend all around--and she said "You look so fat!" I know what she MEANT, she hadn't seen me in a while and I've gone from looking passably normal to definitely pregnant in that time, but it just came out all wrong on her part. She was probably more embarrassed than I was.

Anonymous wrote:I am 20 weeks, just told people and they were shocked. I fit into regular pants still. Not my first baby, either. So, I think 16 weeks is early and my colleague is at that point, already wearing maternity pants on her first baby and I secretly chalk it up to her being chubby and lazy. But I am not her midwife, I would never say that to her and no, a medical provider should probably not say that either. But at the end of the day, every woman has a different body and our bodies react differently to pregnancy.

I am one of the earlier posters who started wearing maternity pants at 8 weeks. I was (and actually still am) in a size 8. I am not considered chubby nor have I ever been considered lazy. I happened to show early (probably due to IVF, but that is really neither here nor there). I don't secretly judge people who show early and think they are lazy. Honestly, I think it pregnancy is a beautiful thing and I am truly happy for them. Everyone's body is different (with my first I didn't show until after 20 weeks) but again, that is neither here nor there. Who knows, people may be judging you behind your back, thinking you have an eating disorder. Embrace one another, don't judge!