I saw a video of Sheryl Sandberg. She reminded me of a munchkin, her face is childlike. And she walks weirdly, like she is trying to sway her hips. Very strange.

Anonymous wrote:Twins are super hard. I have them. My relative had a singleton and thought she knew it all and told me all about everything. I had my twins and just put my nose down and worked hard at life. She had twins a few months later and was completely blown away at how hard it is to deal with more than one child at a time. Whether your second pregnancy is twins or one baby, two children is harder than one. And two infants is super hard. There are NO breaks.

if you have excellent spousal support and good child care, then go for it. But, DO NOT underestimate how hard twins are and it not just when they are babies. Two toddlers who don't listen or understand and can really hurt themselves and each other can make two 6 month twins look like a walk in the park.

Not trying to scare you or anything but I quit working with my twins and am EXHAUSTED every day.

See that's funny because opposite happened to me & a friend. My 3 YO doesn't STTN her twins - 8 weeks. She ha to get an Au Pair (cost savings) we have daycare and all the sickness, etc that comes with it. Trust me, my experience has been MUCH harder. Then again she hasn't survived toddlerhood yet!

AHAHA...what?!?

No, very bad idea.

+1

Equality is about respecting the differences that come with being a working mother. To respect those differences mean that our society values the time women take with their kids and it means that the workplace doesn't discard or devalue women after they take that time.

It is easy to tell a group of 20-somethings to "lean in" and that they can have it all. Try having that conversation with real, seasoned women (say 30-45ish). Much different conversation. The conversation is different because life has happened to those women -- they see the challenges and the difficulties.
Those older women don't need to be told to lean in. They need a real conversation about why they were more "valuable" in the workplace as a childless 30 year old than at 40 with a couple of kids. She is the same woman with the same education, skills, etc. Yes, she may have taken some time away from the office to raise kids, but although she didn't become less smart or skilled, the workplace often views here as if she did. This is the woman who's voice needs to be heard.

I agree with 22:33. True equality should mean we have the freedom to be women-not to have to act like men. I am against the mindset that women can have equality so long as they never do anything differently than a man would do it. Having children takes a physical, mental and emotional toll on women that simply is different from the physical, mental and emotional toll on men. Adequately caring for oneself and one's children demands recognition and appreciation of that fact. Reality tells you that it is going to be hard as hell to take on more responsibilities at work once you give birth to twins.

Real equality and real "leaning in" would be about women having the freedom to take the time off to care for the kids (and not wonder if they need to work harder/more once they have towns!) and rest assured that they will have a path back when they return.
You can't do it all at the same time and women don't lack for ambition (sorry Sheryl Sandberg). Ambitious, smart working women happen to also be ambitious and smart when it comes to raising children. We know we can't be in two places giving 100% all the time. So, instead of chastising women, how about just providing a way back to meaningful work after taking time off.
The op should be able to take time with the twins and remain confident that, in doing so, she isn't tanking her career!

While I don't have twins I do have 4 little ones, am an SVP, under 40, breadwinner and make a lot cash. I just had a talk with my boss during my review. I have always gone for the promotion (mainly due to my supportive boss) and this was the first year that I had to tell him I need to sit back for a few years. Like others said, it is easy to "lean in" when you are hugely wealthy. It is harder when you actually want to spend quality time with your kids. I don't want to move to the EVP level in the next 5 years. We are going to be hitting middle school in the next few years when I think my kids will need me even more. I feel ok now with my work life balance. I am not ready to give that up at this time.

All that said, I don't have a newborn or newborns. Big hell no on taking a promotion with that on the horizon. The only time I took a huge promotion when I was pregnant I didn't know I was pregnant. I did have 9 months to figure it out but it was stressful and I was back at work at 8-10 wks rather than my typical 16 wks. Wouldn't do that again.