Please make it clear. If it is not a drop off party then we likely won't attend so I want to know ahead of time so I can RSVP appropriately. I also don't want to arrive and drop off and put you in a difficult place. If it doesn't say that parents have to stay I would assume it was drop off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well, pp, we did a party at a community center with a playground outside that backed onto two streets - not super close, or anything, but still - it was an open, public space. i preferred that all children had a parent/supervising person there. i just couldn't be responsible for all the children on the playground. at a 4 yr birthday, i only had one parent ask about drop off - and that person was a father who had custody that particular wknd and needed to do a specific activity with their other child. the mom ended up coming...

Then don't attempt to do things that you can't handle. Did you order super expensive food and entertainment too--then say "I just can't afford all of this" and ask parents to chip in?

Figure out what you are capable of, and only do that. If you don't feel you are able to handle 15 children in a busy park (which I wouldn't be able to either), then don't have a party inviting 15 children to a busy park. Plan a party that you CAN handle--like 5 children in your basement playroom.

Um, wow. How do those two things even equate? I think she did figure out what she was capable of: a party for 15 kids and their parents.

If you don't want to or can't stay at a party with your kid and a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds, JUST DON'T COME. If you have too many kids of your own to make this feasible, maybe you should have figured out what you were capable of.

beautiful

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well, pp, we did a party at a community center with a playground outside that backed onto two streets - not super close, or anything, but still - it was an open, public space. i preferred that all children had a parent/supervising person there. i just couldn't be responsible for all the children on the playground. at a 4 yr birthday, i only had one parent ask about drop off - and that person was a father who had custody that particular wknd and needed to do a specific activity with their other child. the mom ended up coming...

Then don't attempt to do things that you can't handle. Did you order super expensive food and entertainment too--then say "I just can't afford all of this" and ask parents to chip in?

Figure out what you are capable of, and only do that. If you don't feel you are able to handle 15 children in a busy park (which I wouldn't be able to either), then don't have a party inviting 15 children to a busy park. Plan a party that you CAN handle--like 5 children in your basement playroom.

Um, wow. How do those two things even equate? I think she did figure out what she was capable of: a party for 15 kids and their parents.

If you don't want to or can't stay at a party with your kid and a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds, JUST DON'T COME. If you have too many kids of your own to make this feasible, maybe you should have figured out what you were capable of.

I hosted a laser tag party for my son recently. I had a mom ask me when the kid arrived if she could drop him off.

In case you haven't been to one, its dark and pretty hard to keep track of people inside the playing area.

I felt uncomfortable that she waited until that day to ask me. I know it's common at that age, but she put me on the spot, and I didn't feel comfortable chasing my two kids AND her kid, who I didn't know around a dark arena.

Please ask before the party if you can. Please don't wait until the day of...

Annoying. Part of the fun of birthday parties is talking/meeting/getting to know the parents of my kids friends. It's not free babysitting. If you want that, suggest playdates. Those can be drop off.

Sounds like the bottom line is, different people will assume different things. If you're in doubt, spell it out on the invite.

Well how many kids are going? If it was my 4 year old I would tell him he can invite 3 friends and then I would make it clear it was a drop-off. If it was a 10-15 kid party, I would absolutely make it parent required.

I have four kids and I would never assume 4 is a drop off age, even though I do think that even my three-year-old could handle it. We have been to A LOT of parties over the years and 5 is more typically the age where drop-offs start.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well, pp, we did a party at a community center with a playground outside that backed onto two streets - not super close, or anything, but still - it was an open, public space. i preferred that all children had a parent/supervising person there. i just couldn't be responsible for all the children on the playground. at a 4 yr birthday, i only had one parent ask about drop off - and that person was a father who had custody that particular wknd and needed to do a specific activity with their other child. the mom ended up coming...

Then don't attempt to do things that you can't handle. Did you order super expensive food and entertainment too--then say "I just can't afford all of this" and ask parents to chip in?

Figure out what you are capable of, and only do that. If you don't feel you are able to handle 15 children in a busy park (which I wouldn't be able to either), then don't have a party inviting 15 children to a busy park. Plan a party that you CAN handle--like 5 children in your basement playroom.

But see, you're going under the assumption that a 4-year-old party is automatically drop-off, so the PP should be prepared to handle full supervision for all of the kids. I think that's a false premise. The $$ analogy is a poor one. It is the host's responsibility to pay for the party. It is NOT the host's responsibility to fully supervise 3 and 4 year olds at any venue. If the host chooses to do so, that's fine, but it is not expected at such a young age where kids still need a lot of attention.

Anonymous wrote:I have a 3 y.o. and a 4 y.o. and have been invited to drop-off parties for both.

For DDs 5th birthday, its at an indoor pool, so we want parents to attend. I phrased it in the negative "If you are unable to accompany your child, please let us know, so we can ensure adequate adult supervision."

We thought that was the best way to encourage parents to come, while acknowledging there were those who might not be able to due to other kids/obligations.

Also, writing "Siblings welcome" on the invite helps as well.

I think that is a great way of phrasing it!

I have a 3 y.o. and a 4 y.o. and have been invited to drop-off parties for both.

For DDs 5th birthday, its at an indoor pool, so we want parents to attend. I phrased it in the negative "If you are unable to accompany your child, please let us know, so we can ensure adequate adult supervision."

We thought that was the best way to encourage parents to come, while acknowledging there were those who might not be able to due to other kids/obligations.

Also, writing "Siblings welcome" on the invite helps as well.

Wow, at 4 we only had one drop-off optional party and most of the parents stayed. I think maybe it makes a difference how well you know the parents? The parents at this party who left were friends of the family. The rest of the parents who stayed (including me) were daycare parents, where we did not know the family that well.

Anonymous wrote:well, pp, we did a party at a community center with a playground outside that backed onto two streets - not super close, or anything, but still - it was an open, public space. i preferred that all children had a parent/supervising person there. i just couldn't be responsible for all the children on the playground. at a 4 yr birthday, i only had one parent ask about drop off - and that person was a father who had custody that particular wknd and needed to do a specific activity with their other child. the mom ended up coming...

Then don't attempt to do things that you can't handle. Did you order super expensive food and entertainment too--then say "I just can't afford all of this" and ask parents to chip in?

Figure out what you are capable of, and only do that. If you don't feel you are able to handle 15 children in a busy park (which I wouldn't be able to either), then don't have a party inviting 15 children to a busy park. Plan a party that you CAN handle--like 5 children in your basement playroom.

5 is the age in our circles.

My youngest is turning 5 and I wrote "drop-offs welcome".

I never assumed it was a drop off until K or the parents specified.

Even if my kids could handle it--I never left them at a party before 5.

well, pp, we did a party at a community center with a playground outside that backed onto two streets - not super close, or anything, but still - it was an open, public space. i preferred that all children had a parent/supervising person there. i just couldn't be responsible for all the children on the playground. at a 4 yr birthday, i only had one parent ask about drop off - and that person was a father who had custody that particular wknd and needed to do a specific activity with their other child. the mom ended up coming...