OP here. We are transfering him now, as a 2nd grader to the new school. We have already talked to him about it and he is excited and looking forward to it.

Thanks for all the replies!

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like your son is really struggling and has been for a long time. When he moves to the new school he will move with a clean slate. Why move him with the knowledge that he has to start with tutors and a struggle that faces him? If he starts in 2nd grade, he can start at his correct reading and math levels, fill in whatever holes he has that have made math and reading a struggle for him, and he can feel successful. That is worth more than anything else you can give him. Once his confidence is up at the new school, I predict you will have a completely new student in your house. No one at the new school will ever know that he isn't in 2nd grade for the first time unless he tells them. Kids really don't do "when is your birthday so you should be in X grade" math. Not even I do that.

There was one red shirted and two repeating boys in DD's first grade class. One of the repeating kids came in from a different school. All the kids in the class knew those kids were retained, and how old they were. I don't think anyone treated them badly because of it, but it was common knowledge, and I definitely heard the kids discuss it.

OP, it sounds like your son is really struggling and has been for a long time. When he moves to the new school he will move with a clean slate. Why move him with the knowledge that he has to start with tutors and a struggle that faces him? If he starts in 2nd grade, he can start at his correct reading and math levels, fill in whatever holes he has that have made math and reading a struggle for him, and he can feel successful. That is worth more than anything else you can give him. Once his confidence is up at the new school, I predict you will have a completely new student in your house. No one at the new school will ever know that he isn't in 2nd grade for the first time unless he tells them. Kids really don't do "when is your birthday so you should be in X grade" math. Not even I do that.

http://www.brookings.edu/research/papers/2012/08/16-student-retention-west

Some studies are finding short term positive impacts, but they seem to level out by middle school. However, students held up do have lower graduation rates and higher dropout rates. Whether that's because they were held back or because of skill levels/other issues that would have been present even if they were not held back seems unclear.

Only you know your kid though - would holding him back do damage to his psyche or would it not be a big deal?

Op, I really think you need to get him assessed for an LD before holding him back. If he has an LD he may be behind his peers for awhile until remediation and specialized strategies help him catch up. Even then he may still struggle and be behind in some areas. You can't keep holding him back so he is at the same grade level as his peers. He could end up being 14 in grade 4.

You need to assess first and see why he is struggling so much, especially given all the extra support he has been given.

Is private school an option? It really seems like the school just isn't doing a good job. Most don't have the time to meet every child's needs.