Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's face it--even the chronically infertile and childless among us are EXCEEDINGLY more fortunate then the 0.001% who get terminal colon cancer or melanoma or breast cancer in their 30's. Point being, suffering is not a competition.

Yes, but telling infertile women to suck it up because, hey, they don't have cancer isn't compassionate either.

No, of course not. But when they begin the downward spiral of a thread with their inability to show compassion for another, what do they expect? People here are going to call them on that, every single time. So they should just stop. That is what this PSA is about.

Fell right into it. What a bitch you are!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:04 you are misdirecting your anger and are exemplifying the kind of nastiness that the OP and others are concerned about. Retread the PP's post - it's not about dismissing suffering, it's about recognizing that people need to be more supportive whether they're contending with infertility, miscarriage, etc and that maybe these different types of struggles warrant their own forums - as exist on other sites. So please, be kind and relax.

Oh my God, fine. I'll report this post to Jeff and ask if he can create a secondary infertility forum so that no one's feelings will be hurt, okay? Will that satisfy everyone?

While we are at it, should we ask him to create a TV/Movie Spoiler forum so that those who can't stop themselves from reading threads about their favorite shows don't get upset?
I should really stop coming here. So many people who think they are entitled to never be offended or have their feelings hurt. Jeesh.

Goodness, no one (NO ONE) is suggesting that you can't post about your secondary infertility - to the contrary. You are misinterpreting my and others' post completely.

Really? Please explain how you think I "misinterpreting" some of these gems from the other thread:

Your body worked b/c ivf worked for you twice. That's way more than a lot of other people. Just continue to count your blessings and what is meant to be will be.

Thank you PP. I just have a hard time hearing about tears when someone has 2 biological children thru ivf! That's more than most of us have. Who cares how they were conceived for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!

OP - you had success TWICE with ivf - what more could you possibly want!!!! And also, what could possibly be upsetting about that???????

You may want to post on the TTC board as opposed to this one. You may get more sympathy over there.....

10:40 - OP doesn't have secondary infertility. She had 2 kids via ivf. Secondary infertility is when you have 1 child and can't conceive another thru any means, including ivf. What OP has is an inability to conceive on her own. Sorry but most of us here think it is pretty inconsiderate and unrelatable to be reduced to tears after successfully conceiving twice with ivf.

There needs to be a separate board for those who have had success but are trying for a 2nd or 3rd like OP.

I think OP's feelings would be better expressed/received on another board.

And when someone who has been blessed with 2 kids (via ivf or whatever) comes on here and complains to a bunch of people who don't have kids, it is ridiculous to expect that she wouldn't receive some negative comments. At some point, you have to dry the tears and deal with the hand you have been dealt - and compared to some of us, OP has been dealt a pretty good hand.

I am not too poor to do IVF - just the opposite. I also have no genetic disorders. I am just someone trying to have ONE child, through whatever means my body will allow. It is very frustrating though to read someone else whining about mode of conception!!!!!!!!! No matter how grateful she claims she is, she sounds very ungrateful.

I agree with PP who said OP should post on another board. There should be one entitled "secondary infertility".

On other forums, there are boards for those suffering secondary infertility. One should be started here.

While it sucks for OP to have to use IVF to conceive, she's lucky that she CAN conceive through that method. For many of us, even IVF doesn't work and, as a consequence, we have no children. It's not the same situation -- at all. Still, it sucks, OP.

There is a way to have a separate board and then if you want to go on there and read, then you can. Those of us still struggling with primary can stay on the primary board.

It is not very comforting though to read about someone who has had success twice describe herself as being in years b/c she can't conceive the natural way. When I finally do have a baby, I hope to feel very happy and blessed. IF will always be a part of me but I hope I'm not on here complaining that I only conceived thru ivf and not the natural way. Thank God for ivf - otherwise I wouldn't be able to conceive.

I think creating another board makes total sense. It is one more board, not ten.

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how some people think the entire world should revolve around their specific needs.

And this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they would get more traffic if set up differently.

Or maybe it would get more traffic if people weren't so nasty.

This.

Seriously. This thread has devolved into typical DCUM nastiness and argument. It could not be any better support for the idea that you should definitely check out the other infertility forums for support. On this topic, I believe DCUM is pretty much only good for, "Looking for a New RE" type local recommendation posts.

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how some people think the entire world should revolve around their specific needs.

Interesting that a post dedicated to compassion devolves into a nasty thread that includes post like these. No one said the world revolves around them and they're specific needs. One poster suggested that there are forums that are an alternative to DCUM that provide a safe space for people to discuss particular areas of infertility, including miscarriage and secondary infertility, that often get short shrift on this sight and aren't always taken as seriously. That's all. But that post plus some really nasty poster and what do you get? A typical unpleasant DCUM thread lacking compassion. Go figure.

Unbelievable how some people think the entire world should revolve around their specific needs.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they would get more traffic if set up differently.

Or maybe it would get more traffic if people weren't so nasty.

Maybe they would get more traffic if set up differently.

Good God people, this is ridiculous. DCUM simply doesn't have the traffic to support any more infertility forums. And as others have said, where do you draw the line? All because of a few people who seem unable to just hit the close button on threads that don't apply to them.

Like another poster said, go to other forums - NONE of this fighting and arguing exists. Why? Because they are set up better than DCUM. Infertility is broad. Open up a few more boards and you will actually get support on them, rather than fighting,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:04 you are misdirecting your anger and are exemplifying the kind of nastiness that the OP and others are concerned about. Retread the PP's post - it's not about dismissing suffering, it's about recognizing that people need to be more supportive whether they're contending with infertility, miscarriage, etc and that maybe these different types of struggles warrant their own forums - as exist on other sites. So please, be kind and relax.

Oh my God, fine. I'll report this post to Jeff and ask if he can create a secondary infertility forum so that no one's feelings will be hurt, okay? Will that satisfy everyone?

While we are at it, should we ask him to create a TV/Movie Spoiler forum so that those who can't stop themselves from reading threads about their favorite shows don't get upset?
I should really stop coming here. So many people who think they are entitled to never be offended or have their feelings hurt. Jeesh.

Goodness, no one (NO ONE) is suggesting that you can't post about your secondary infertility - to the contrary. You are misinterpreting my and others' post completely.

There are several posters that reference creating another board, which does imply that secondary IF folks aren't welcome here. It is what it is, and I think it is silly,

Anonymous wrote:11:26 - my gosh, your posts are so ugly and defensive. What is the world is so wrong with creating another board?????? Do you care at all about others' feelings?

Not 11:26, but I also don't see the need for another board. I think on a forum like this, the issue is one of line-drawing. The post that led to this discussion was not about secondary IF but about primary IF that resulted in two kids through IVF. So, would you need a separate forum for secondary IF and another one for folks with IF that have kids? Neither board would get much traffic and the folks over here would not benefit from as much knowledge from folks that have had success. I have a child after IVF and cannot have kids without IVF, so I try to word my posts very carefully, but I also try to post useful information. I wouldn't do that if it was felt that I was not welcome to receive support as well or have my own questions answered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:04 you are misdirecting your anger and are exemplifying the kind of nastiness that the OP and others are concerned about. Retread the PP's post - it's not about dismissing suffering, it's about recognizing that people need to be more supportive whether they're contending with infertility, miscarriage, etc and that maybe these different types of struggles warrant their own forums - as exist on other sites. So please, be kind and relax.

Oh my God, fine. I'll report this post to Jeff and ask if he can create a secondary infertility forum so that no one's feelings will be hurt, okay? Will that satisfy everyone?

While we are at it, should we ask him to create a TV/Movie Spoiler forum so that those who can't stop themselves from reading threads about their favorite shows don't get upset?
I should really stop coming here. So many people who think they are entitled to never be offended or have their feelings hurt. Jeesh.

Goodness, no one (NO ONE) is suggesting that you can't post about your secondary infertility - to the contrary. You are misinterpreting my and others' post completely.

I can't believe you all are grown women arguing on a message board. This sounds like some Teen Mom mess. I mean really?