DH plays golf once per weekend at max. No trips away. He always takes the 6 am tee time and if he only plays 9, is back by 10-11.

Anonymous wrote:How many times does he play on weekends? I am trying to let my DH play when he likes and realize its important for us to let off steam, relax and enjoy hobbies. He just tends to do this way more than I but that's my fault, I don't let myself do my own thing nearly as much, just because I guess.

We have a 2 year old and I'm expecting the new one any day and DH golfs at least twice a month and spends about one weekend day a week going to the driving range for a few hours. He also takes one weekend long golf trip a year. I'm starting to get edgy now when he says he's going out and feel like this isn't going to fly with two kids. Do your husbands go out for golf a lot? How do you keep a balance without feeling resentful? I don't want to harp on him but I am not sure how this will work out.

Another consideration is how young your kids are- if you put them in sports they will be playing on weekend mornings- you may find that you will have to strike a balance, especially with multiple children, assuming your husband wants to be involved. He may naturally change his habits- if his job allows weekday golf he may sneak more of that in so that he can be present at the kids sporting events.

If he plays that much it might be more economical to join a country club. There are MANY reasonable ones in the DC area. You could be at the pool with the kids (or have a sitter at the pool with the kids while you take a walk or simply hang at home), meet for lunch and then enjoy family time at the pool. ORnyou could take up golf yourself and have a lifelong shared love that you and your husband can do together- and one which your family can enjoy. This is our situation. I play on ladies day, he plays on Saturday, and the family plays every Sunday afternoon (three kids under 8). The kids play on Wednesdays and with me whenever they get the chance. I didn't start until I met my DH but am now a competitive golfer, I played through pregnancies and nursing and whatnot. I agree that if this wasn't something we shared I could see there being resentment/ it's not just a 4 hours thing for him (or me!) as frequently drinks or lunch follow. If you play tennis or paddle tennis it makes even more sense. Swim team is another huge bonus for families as are off season socials likes Halloween and Easter events, and great NY's parties- in short, a whole community if you want it. My mom saw a long future of being a "golf widow" ahead ahead of her with a husband facing an early retirement so picked up the game at 45- at 63 she is an amazing and competitive golfer and it is a centerpiece of their life and friendships. They play with their children and grandchildren!

Think about it, anyway. It offers up the chance for fun family vacations and zero resentment as you have a lot to talk about, meet mutual friends, and can play in tournaments as a couple.

His playing doesn't seem excessive- BUT, does he offer you equal "you" time? That's the crux of it. I hope you can find a good balance- and I wish you all the best!

Get a sitter while he is golfing and go to yoga or something. You will be a lot happier.