Anonymous wrote:I know people say you shouldn't have a second child just because you want the first to have a sibling, but I really feel that is the reason I want a second. I can't imagine not having a sibling and I think FOR ME it would feel wrong to not try to give my child a brother or sister to grow up with. Do other people feel that way as well? I'm mainly wondering if most people here who have or want a second child really want one because they want another baby, or because they feel their kid should have a sibling. And also, if you have a second kid so that the first will have a sibling, did it work out? Are you happy about it? Do you regret it??

I am pregnant with my 2nd --- for both reasons. I wanted another child, and also wanted to give my child a sibling! If I were younger, I would go for 3! But I am almost 40.

I don't think wanting a family with sibling dynamics is a bad reason at all. When you think about it, its more valid than baby fever or wanting another baby in the house. Babies grow up very fast and you then have kids.

We had a second child for many reasons:

We love children.
I got baby fever as soon as DC#1 was crawling.
We wanted another child and were curious as to what the second would look like.
For some reason, we felt more like a family after DC#2 was born.
We wanted DC#1 to have a sibling.
I knew that if I didn't have a second child that I would drive DC#1 crazy with all of the attention.

I think I'm a lot closer with DC#1 while DC#2 seems to have a preference for my DH. I love both of my kids equally and try to give them equal time. There are days when all the hugs and kisses are for DC#2 and other days when it's my older child. They get what they need from us and from each other. It's sweet to see them give each other hugs and play together. It's sweet to see my older child talk to our toddler with a sweet motherly voice.

We were happy to stop at two. My reason: I refuse to ever drive a mini-van.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, thinking about it more, if an older child (like age 3 or 4) could suddenly magically appear at our house, I'd be cool with it.

You could adopt an older child.

Honestly, thinking about it more, if an older child (like age 3 or 4) could suddenly magically appear at our house, I'd be cool with it. But I don't want to go through the baby stage again. I just don't like babies very much.

Or just have one child and wait for that one child to grow up hating you, I mean life is a gamble so with your thinking maybe we just shouldn't have any kids at all.