Anonymous wrote:PP here with the young adult daughter who sounds like OPs child. . My DD did not choose to play much with Legos or a lot of traditional toys. Loved books and music and later, writing. Loved the outdoors. But no blocks ... Or Legos ... Or puzzles. That was just her. She had an incredible memory for things she had heard or seen. Still does.

If I had had your preschool teacher, I am SURE we would have been told to get an evaluation as well.

With all due respect, you are talking about a daughter who is in her 20ties. Doubtful that developmental delays, sensory issues were as well known or even recognized then. Asperger's wasn't in the DSM until the early 90ties.

Your post frankly reminds me of my mom who because she did not use car seats, vaccinate as we do now, etc. and all her kids grew up OK insists these things are unnecessary. Some of my siblings and peers suspect they have or were diagnosed with ADHD and AS/ASD as adults. Not everyone grows out of anxiety either. For some it is a lifelong struggle and they probably would have had better outcomes if it was treated when it first appeared in childhood.

Anonymous wrote:OPs post described one of my perfectly. DD has grown into a lovely young adult. Everything about OPs post matched: the chewing, the music, the long attention span for certain activities, the verbal ability.

We did nothing. DD grew up and grew into the group thing in school. She always was a little dreamy in circle time. Her early verbal abilities later became high SAT scores which enabled her academic dreams to come true.

She chewed on her sleeves and coats... And then eventually stopped. She was kind and good natured. She found that her gifts and talents were appreciated In high school and her confidence soared.

She was never labeled and just was a little different. But some of those differences were GOOD. Teachers focused on the differences and we heard a lot of it in the early grades, and we acknowledged it to ourselves as well. But overall she was a bright kid and was allowed to be herself. There is no one type of preschooler.

Nothing in the description of OP's kid sounds alarming. He sounds very bright. The chewing is an anxiety thing. It will cease when he becomes more confident in his self outside the home.

So just b/c you were lucky and fortunate and your DD turned out "fine", you think OP should do nothing like you!?! Your fortune telling ability is amazing...

PP here with the young adult daughter who sounds like OPs child. . My DD did not choose to play much with Legos or a lot of traditional toys. Loved books and music and later, writing. Loved the outdoors. But no blocks ... Or Legos ... Or puzzles. That was just her. She had an incredible memory for things she had heard or seen. Still does.

If I had had your preschool teacher, I am SURE we would have been told to get an evaluation as well.

OPs post described one of my perfectly. DD has grown into a lovely young adult. Everything about OPs post matched: the chewing, the music, the long attention span for certain activities, the verbal ability.

We did nothing. DD grew up and grew into the group thing in school. She always was a little dreamy in circle time. Her early verbal abilities later became high SAT scores which enabled her academic dreams to come true.

She chewed on her sleeves and coats... And then eventually stopped. She was kind and good natured. She found that her gifts and talents were appreciated In high school and her confidence soared.

She was never labeled and just was a little different. But some of those differences were GOOD. Teachers focused on the differences and we heard a lot of it in the early grades, and we acknowledged it to ourselves as well. But overall she was a bright kid and was allowed to be herself. There is no one type of preschooler.

Nothing in the description of OP's kid sounds alarming. He sounds very bright. The chewing is an anxiety thing. It will cease when he becomes more confident in his self outside the home.

14:50, preschool director--I have news for you kids with ADHD often have sensory issues too and chronically chew on things.

OP, I would get on a wait list for an evaluation with a developmental pediatrician. Your kid might be ASD, have ADHD, have auditory processing issues, sensory issues, or none of the above and be neurotypical. It usually takes several months to get an appointment, and you can always cancel closer to the date. He's not too young.

If there is an issue, early intervention is best. Good luck to you; I know from personal experience these can be trying times.

Don't get too up in arms about the teacher's suggestion. If I were you, I would absolutely get an eval from a developmental specialist, or at he very least an OT specializing in sensory issues. Once you hear what they have to say, you can make decisions and go from there. I am the parent of a preemie. Because of his prematurity, we've been lucky to have had access to early evaluations/intervention, and sometimes it's just a little help or tips for the parents/teachers that can tremendously help a child. There is so much research that early interventions can help a child exponentially more than late intervention. It absolutely cannot hurt and might (significantly) help to get professional input earlier rather than later. "Inability to organize" for a preschooler might equal not being able to concentrate at circle time and needing to chew -- can you imagine what it might look like at 1st grade or beyond, and how it might impact a child academically and socially? I would be grateful for the teacher's heads up.

The problematic behavior in different settings is very misleading. The fact is that in our homes we accommodate our children in ways that we aren't even conscious of. But at school the demands increase -- there is more going on, other children, things they are supposed to attend to. it isn't uncommon at all for issues to surface at school that you don't see at hone.

Agree with this (I am both a teacher and a parent of a SN child).

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I didn't mean to sound like I am attacking the teacher or that I don't believe in early intervention. It probably would have been more accurate to say I'm sad to think my kid needs, it, but I wholeheartedly embrace the idea that getting your kid prompt assistance when it's required is the right thing to do. (FWIW, my 15 month old daughter has hypotonia and wears glasses, and for both of these issues we got her very early assistance that I am grateful for.) I guess I'm just not sure how much of this issue is coming from my son's adjustment to a classroom versus how much of it is an underlying condition. From my understanding, any kind of diagnosis requires a child to display problematic behaviors in more than one setting, and my kid is just not that disruptive at home (nor have I gotten a clear indication from his teacher that he's actually disruptive in class; more that he's just inattentive). We're agreed to get the developmental coordinator to observe--that's why I suggested it!--so we'll know more after she gives us feedback. But I think overall it's tough that there seem to be two schools of thought, most deriving from people's differing experiences: 1) that intervening as soon as any red flag arises is crucial and 2) that allowing a kid who is not showing significant issues to mature is the best way to go.

The problematic behavior in different settings is very misleading. The fact is that in our homes we accommodate our children in ways that we aren't even conscious of. But at school the demands increase -- there is more going on, other children, things they are supposed to attend to. it isn't uncommon at all for issues to surface at school that you don't see at hone.

Maddux while a great school is not a "boy" school but a school that specializes in kids with some type of issue whether or not they have a diagnosis. It is not a mainstream school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could it just be a bad fit (even if it is a good school and teacher)? When we changed preschools to one with more structure and catered more to boy needs it made a world of difference.

How does one find a school catered to "boy needs?" I would be all for that if I knew how to look for it.

Don't know where you live, but the Maddux school is the closet I've seen. It's in Mont. county.

After I got over my anger and hurt (quickly), I'd find a well respected doctor and have my child evaluated. My DC has ADHD and (diagnosed at age 5 by a developmental ped who does not take generally take kids over the age of 4). Not saying your kid has the same, but in hindsight all of the symptoms were there in my child when he was younger.

As a director of a childcare center, the teachers' comments have been very appropriate. Since it's a half day nursery school, the chances are the teacher has more education than if she were at a fulltime childcare center (sad but true....). But even my teachers, who all have CDAs and about 20 years of experience, often can tell me that they are concerned about a child's behavior but they can't tell me why. When I observe it, I can put ECE language to it. Anyway, given the way she's approached it - by telling the parents what she's done to accommodate (the class has weighted bean bags and has a sense of how to use them? and a chewy necklace used to "help a child focus"????? I'm impressed. To me this all sounds like sensory issues rather than ADHD or ADD. BUT the point is: there is a concern from a teacher who sees many children, but she knows she doesn't know enough to offer a specific diagnosis. Her job is to offer her feedback that she has concerns. It's a specialist's job to test and try to figure out if there are any concerns and what they are.

Good for you having the observation from the school's developmental specialist. I do hope you'll follow up if there are any concerns.

Yes, when a child's behavior is the same no matther what (and it's delayed or out of the norm) then it could be a red flag. BUT also when a child's behavior DIFFERS widely from one environment to another, this can be one red flag that there is a problem. Because if the child really could do it, she/he would do it everywhere.

Finally, the environments are not actually the same, as your child spends lots of time in his room playing in his room with his CDS all by himself, and therefore doesn't need to work to focus the same as when he's at school, in the middle of 15 other children who are all active, with lots of noise, stimulation, visual and auditory stimulation, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Could it just be a bad fit (even if it is a good school and teacher)? When we changed preschools to one with more structure and catered more to boy needs it made a world of difference.

How does one find a school catered to "boy needs?" I would be all for that if I knew how to look for it.

Could it just be a bad fit (even if it is a good school and teacher)? When we changed preschools to one with more structure and catered more to boy needs it made a world of difference.

But I think overall it's tough that there seem to be two schools of thought, most deriving from people's differing experiences: 1) that intervening as soon as any red flag arises is crucial and 2) that allowing a kid who is not showing significant issues to mature is the best way to go.

I just want to say that before you even get to the point of having to choose one of these schools of thought, you need to have an evaluation. It's only through the assessment process that you can identify if there are any issues. If issues aren't identified then you go on your merry way. But, unless you have information, you cannot make an informed decision.