I'll admit to being curious on at least an intellectual level about open marriages and such.

But DW and I decided to have kids, and they are our top priority. There is no way I could justify fooling around on the side, coming home late, crusing bars, etc. All would be time taken away from the kids. As for sneaking out a lunch to have sex (presumably at a hotel) -- not how I would want to conduct myself at work and not how i want to spend my money.

When our kids are out of the house, at least a decade from now, this MIGHT be something we explore together. But who knows. I sense there's a lot of weirdos in the open marriage or swinging thing and not so sure I'd want to associate with them.

Anonymous wrote:My mother had a boyfriend. I think she is a whore who would rather go sexing around than take care of her family. And she is a dumb whore at that because she could have at least gotten someone who gave her more than a wet ass. I mean if you are going to fuck around and betray your family then at least get some bills paid, shit think of your children. Its a betryal. Justify it however you want. You are a whore and you don't care about your children.

No issues here. No ma'am. No issues at all.

Why even bother being married?

Anonymous wrote:My mother had a boyfriend. I think she is a whore who would rather go sexing around than take care of her family. And she is a dumb whore at that because she could have at least gotten someone who gave her more than a wet ass. I mean if you are going to fuck around and betray your family then at least get some bills paid, shit think of your children. Its a betryal. Justify it however you want. You are a whore and you don't care about your children.

Was your parents marriage "open" or was she cheating on your dad?

My mother had a boyfriend. I think she is a whore who would rather go sexing around than take care of her family. And she is a dumb whore at that because she could have at least gotten someone who gave her more than a wet ass. I mean if you are going to fuck around and betray your family then at least get some bills paid, shit think of your children. Its a betryal. Justify it however you want. You are a whore and you don't care about your children.

There's one woman here in my office I'd love to have for lunch... sigh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess my question is that when you do this, whether it is at lunch or not, do you tell your spouse? Amd, if not-why not? Because not telling your spouse implies thet what you are doing is hurtful and not so "open." I am definately not judging-just wondering how open the openness is really.

If I have a salad for lunch or ate lunch at my desk, I don't go home and tell my spouse. For me, it gets lumped into one of the mindless minutae of my day that I don't tell my spouse because we agreed going into it not to share details unless it's worth sharing. And really "I had 'Johnny' for lunch today" is not really a detail worth sharing. How do you make a conversation out of that?

+1

Anonymous wrote:I guess my question is that when you do this, whether it is at lunch or not, do you tell your spouse? Amd, if not-why not? Because not telling your spouse implies thet what you are doing is hurtful and not so "open." I am definately not judging-just wondering how open the openness is really.

If I have a salad for lunch or ate lunch at my desk, I don't go home and tell my spouse. For me, it gets lumped into one of the mindless minutae of my day that I don't tell my spouse because we agreed going into it not to share details unless it's worth sharing. And really "I had 'Johnny' for lunch today" is not really a detail worth sharing. How do you make a conversation out of that?

I guess my question is that when you do this, whether it is at lunch or not, do you tell your spouse? Amd, if not-why not? Because not telling your spouse implies thet what you are doing is hurtful and not so "open." I am definately not judging-just wondering how open the openness is really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about this, especially the "don't ask don't tell" couples. So, when you are late coming home and with your fling, do you lie about where you were or do you tell the truth?

We spend evenings with the family. Too busy with kids' activities to be fooling around at that time.

This! you don't take time away from the family to go fuck around. We do our business during our "own" time. For me, it's mostly during lunch at work or when I'm out with my friends for some me time. I don't spend nights away from home or go on weekend trips.

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about this, especially the "don't ask don't tell" couples. So, when you are late coming home and with your fling, do you lie about where you were or do you tell the truth?

We spend evenings with the family. Too busy with kids' activities to be fooling around at that time.

I'm curious about this, especially the "don't ask don't tell" couples. So, when you are late coming home and with your fling, do you lie about where you were or do you tell the truth?

This is how aids jumped from monkey to cat to human

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children know that I have a sexual relationship with my husband.

Eww

Grow up. Not the PP but my children don't need to know the intimate details of my sex life to know that my spouse and I are in a committed monogamous relationship and that we love each other exclusively. We hug in front of them, we even occasionally give each other a morning kiss in front of them. (HORRORS!) Showing affection is a good thing and children should see it in a marriage so they know its normal and to be modeled. So yes, they know how they came to be and that we had to have SEX for them to be here.

Anonymous wrote:I would rather that my parents had found sexual satisfaction elsewhere and kept their marriage stable than have secret affairs, which is what they did.

You mean the affairs destabilized the marriage? And that wouldn't have happened if they had had an open marriage?