Anonymous
Post 01/17/2013 21:19     Subject: Re:Getting ready to say "fuck it"
Anonymous wrote:Op also keep in mind that her nastiness may also be a coping mechanism so she'll be able to leave you in the fall. I hear similar stories from other moms/daughters. I have one son in college--we never went through this rough phase. I'll see how it goes next year with 17 yo DD. So far so good. Good luck!


Yes, this exactly. I'm guessing she's being as irritating as heck because she's scared. Maybe talk to her candidly about this? Give her the chance to start managing her anxiety in a mature way by helping her to develop her self-awareness.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2013 20:36     Subject: Getting ready to say "fuck it"
Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the cursing. I thought about typing something less abrasive, but I'm so pissed right now. I'm SICK of the attitude that's coming from my daughter. She's such a fucking drag during the college application bullshit. She seems to think she can do this without me and my input which is fine, but who the hell does she expect to pay for all of the applications?

She hounds me to pay application fees and to have SAT scores sent, but when I ask her if she's completed her essays, had her letters of recommendations and transcripts sent she gets pissy and/or cagey with her responses. She doesn't seem to get that the deadlines are HERE and unless she bucks up, she's not going to go anywhere next Fall.

I don't mind that she wants to do this without my help, but she's so lazy about fulfilling her end of things, so she's not actually accomplishing much. Hasn't done any scholarship essays...has done the bare minimum.

I'm so tempted to just say "fuck it" and if she misses the deadlines and doesn't get in to her schools of choice to just let it all fall on her head.


Gotta side with the daughter on this one. DS did all the apps himself, including paying for the apps albeit with our card number. OP is really withholding app fees? The fees only go in with a completed app, so OP is the one holding up the process. And OP is holding up the SATs? We never even registered for that DS did it all and he is hardly Mr. Organized. This poor girl probably can't wait to get away.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2013 09:45     Subject: Re:Getting ready to say "fuck it"
OP, reading your post made me laugh, because I remember my mom and I going through the exact same types of fights re the college application process 15 years ago. It was awful, and I am sure I was equally obnoxious (without meaning to be). I think it is (unfortunately) par for the course. Can't you just tell her you won't pay fees for any applications that are not complete/ready to go?
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2013 09:38     Subject: Getting ready to say "fuck it"
Anonymous wrote:"Once again, this just makes me thankful that I had all boys and no girls!!! "

You may not be so thankful when your DILs hate you.


My DD's college application experience was a breeze and a joy! It's my aggressive and devious DS, who is coming up next, where I see trouble in the horizon.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2013 22:56     Subject: Re:Getting ready to say "fuck it"
Is the another parent in the picture? Because I would want to unload this passive aggressive routine on somebody else for a while.