Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier and said elementary school. But I think a lot depends on number and personalities of kids, as well as the size of your house. If you have a 3000 sq ft home and one 2yo girl, I'm not impressed if you can keep your white couches in perfect order - presumably you have a cavernous basement playroom complete with art station etc. We have a perfectly reasonably sized house for close-in DC (1900sqft) but there is no basement so our living/family room takes a ton of abuse. I didn't see too much damage until I had a second child, who arrived when #1 was almost in K. Somehow there was always a pencil lying within reach!

We have a 900 square foot house with two very active boys. We've never had an incident. We keep stuff put out of their way with a lock on the closet. We keep our couch covered but more because of the food we spill after they go to bed (we have strict eat at the table policy). That's a bit silly to say, oh, you can do it with a huge basement playroom - that's not what many have and we still manage to keep our kids from not being destructive. It takes a lot of active parenting and keeping on top of every behavior. Maybe your grand 1900 square feet is too large if you can't keep a handle on the kids/behaviors. The nice thing about a small house is you see and hear everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I asked my mom the other week if my siblings or I ever "wrecked" furniture. The answer was "no". Boundaries, manners and discipline works just fine. So does teaching kids that furniture isn't a toy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Glad your perfect little Stepford children can do this.

Seriously - set boundaries? Discipline? Gee, why didn't I think of that?

I'm not the poster you ungraciously mock and I, too, think it is important to teach kids how to behave. Everyone hated having one of my sister's kids over because she had shabby furniture in her home and only ate at fast food places and allowed her kids to behave as they pleased pretty much all the time. I don't think that one's home has to be a total museum with rooms totally off-limits, but I do think kids need to learn how to behave in different contexts. My kids understood they could roughhouse in the basement but they needed to be careful of the furniture in other rooms. Art projects happened in the basement or at the kitchen table or island. They also learned at a very young age how to handle an airline flight, how to comport themselves in restaurants and how not to yell at the tops of their lungs in grocery stores. Consequently they were always welcomed visitors.

PP, I completely agree about living on stuff, EVEN if it is really expensive. Slightly worn houses look real. It's a shame if a gorgeous room cannot be enjoyed!

I just wanted to add one more thing to the OP. When I was growing up we always had very nice furniture and we were the hardest on it when we were in high school because:

1. We were bigger and put more wear and tear on the fabric
2. We weren't afraid to break the rules and eat pizza or chocolate ice cream on the couch
3. We threw parties and had friends over who were equally lackadaisical--it's the teenage condition.

So by your rules, I would wait until after college or do what I did and realize that waiting is for the birds. Get stuff you like!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is almost 7 and still writes on her furniture and walls, no matter how many times we punish her for it.

Wtf?! My boys are 7 and 4.5 and have never written on our walls. We just purchased a whole new living/family room, DH and I had the other stuff for about 15 years. I was tired of living in a crap shack. I did select durable (yet highly fashionable) stuff, extra stain guard, not white, etc. it looks great and I'm not afraid of spills. I couldn't wait 14 more years---by then ill need new stuff anyways.

+1. It's not totally high-end,e.g., Crate and Barrel, but we upgraded when youngest son was close to 5. We don't have as many food accidents. Boys are fairly neat. Couch is sturdy, not precious. Our previous stuff was also 10+ years old. I don't want to wait another 10 years. Plus- we moved into a new house 2 years ago. I felt like a college kid before and dint realize how bad the old stuff depressed me. I now enjoy relaxing in the family room and I'm not embarrassed to have people over. I wouldn't do it with toddlers and younger---but by the time youngest is 5 it is okay.

I also agree with a pp--this is material stuff. It's meant to be lived on. I will never create a museum where nobody can touch things or is uncomfortable to sit on.

Depends on your lifestyle. We have sort of nice furniture in our living room, but our kids don't really go in there. Our dining room furniture is nice too. Our family room furniture is more user friendly: washable slip covered couches from pottery barn and a wooden train table from PBK as the coffee table. You can start investing in nice accent tables, etc but I would be careful with couches and coffee tables since those will need to withstand the most abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is almost 7 and still writes on her furniture and walls, no matter how many times we punish her for it.

So, you're both behaving badly? You might try to a different technique than punishment and you'll get better results.

To clarify, I'm not spanking or grounding her for it. More like putting up art supplies so she doesn't have access without supervision and reminding her for the 50 billionth time about only on paper. And she didn't start this charming behavior until she started school. She's mostly writing her name on her bed and her closet, stuff like that.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this attitude of "you'll understand when you have #2". What is that about?! We have three boys (the oldest is a teen) and we never had any of our furniture jumped on, drawn on, or ripped up with forks/knives/scissors, and they aren't stepford children, they just aren't allowed to behave like animals. Buy the furniture you want to live with and teach your children to respect it. No markers on walls or furniture. It really isn't that hard. If they can't do that, you have bigger problems than disposable furniture IMHO.

I have three kids and can say the same. However, I have had the glass of wine spilled when they jumped up suddenly from my lap or bumped into me or excitedly waved their hands in the air at some point in a movie. Even the best behaved kids cause accidents because, well, they are clumsy kids. That's why I don't have nice furniture even with my rule following kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have gorgeous furniture and a 2yo. No problems here. If something spills, it is likely clear and we clean it up. My couches were OLD but cost $14k to be recovered in a nice fabric. We mostly dine in the kitchen and have white Herman Miller chairs that we sit on. We use Sferra table cloths and throw them in the wash. Really, nice stuff lasts longer and if you know how to clean well there is never a problem.

Ahhh, the delusions of the parent of a singleton 2yo who has yet to have "a problem". So, you've covered your couch in 14k worth of fabric? There isn't going to be enough ativan or xanax in your IV drip to stop your towering rage when your little angel drags permanent black sharpie marker all over your new Mitchell Gold.

Hahahhaha. My couches are 50 years old; they have been recovered, restuffed, and repaired many times over. If my DC somehow gained access to a Sharpie from the shelf in my office, then I would finally get to replace my Brunschwig fabric with a gorgeous Clarence House pattern I have had my eye on. And I don't need drugs.

I posted earlier and said elementary school. But I think a lot depends on number and personalities of kids, as well as the size of your house. If you have a 3000 sq ft home and one 2yo girl, I'm not impressed if you can keep your white couches in perfect order - presumably you have a cavernous basement playroom complete with art station etc. We have a perfectly reasonably sized house for close-in DC (1900sqft) but there is no basement so our living/family room takes a ton of abuse. I didn't see too much damage until I had a second child, who arrived when #1 was almost in K. Somehow there was always a pencil lying within reach!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have gorgeous furniture and a 2yo. No problems here. If something spills, it is likely clear and we clean it up. My couches were OLD but cost $14k to be recovered in a nice fabric. We mostly dine in the kitchen and have white Herman Miller chairs that we sit on. We use Sferra table cloths and throw them in the wash. Really, nice stuff lasts longer and if you know how to clean well there is never a problem.

Ahhh, the delusions of the parent of a singleton 2yo who has yet to have "a problem". So, you've covered your couch in 14k worth of fabric? There isn't going to be enough ativan or xanax in your IV drip to stop your towering rage when your little angel drags permanent black sharpie marker all over your new Mitchell Gold.

If sharpies are properly put away, then its a non-issue. They can't ruin what they don't have access to.

Your kids obviously aren't as crafty as mine. It doesn't matter where I hide things. If they're determined- they will find them! Hidden, forbidden items are much more tempting (and fun) that things like the washable markers that I keep out.

My kids don't really write on walls, but they have a really horrible habit of managing to vomit on the nicest/hardest to clean furniture. So I'm really glad that my nicest furniture isn't covered in $14,000 fabric (although to be fair, I couldn't afford that even if I wanted it). Discipline only works so far, and like 8:59 said, accidents happen, even among the most well-behaved kids.

I don't think we need to turn this into a question of good/bad behavior or good/bad parenting and discipline. (Though this is DCUM, so we will!)
My kids are reasonably well-behaved and we haven't had any major damage. That said, we still aren't upgrading the furniture yet because even "good" kids can have accidents. Even well-coordinated kids can have trips/spills/crashes if they are adjusting to longer arms and legs after a growth spurt.

Anonymous wrote:heres the deal. If you buy veneer furniture then yes don't buy it until the kids are old. If you buy real solid wood furniture that can be sanded and refinished go ahead.

I'd also add that the finish makes a difference. We buy our furniture with oiled/rubbed finishes. All we need to do is lightly sand and re-oil. We bought a nice solid wood dining room table w/ a semi-glossy finish and it had noticeable scratches after our first party.

We buy our furniture from Hardwood Artisans and they strongly warn against glossy finishes for exactly that reason.

High School?? No way! We bought lots of new stuff when our kids were 7 and 5--no problems. We bought a cream sofa 18 months ago when they were 7 and 9 and again no problem. Now, back when they were younger and we had a smaller house out sofa was DISGUSTING

Anonymous wrote:My kid is almost 7 and still writes on her furniture and walls, no matter how many times we punish her for it.

So, you're both behaving badly? You might try to a different technique than punishment and you'll get better results.