+1
This is the issue I see being the problem especially with OP's case.
And it seems that parents should always try to handle these disputes themselves first, though I think there is an increasing trend among some parents to just try to get someone else, usually the school, to handle it.

It seems that the question is not whether the school should ever get involved but whether it should always get involved. It seems wrong to bring the school in to handle any dispute that arises between two kids who attend the same school, whether that dispute happens on a soccer field, a playground or a chat room. And it seems that parents should always try to handle these disputes themselves first, though I think there is an increasing trend among some parents to just try to get someone else, usually the school, to handle it. Labeling something as bullying does not really change the calculus as that term is thrown around rather loosely today and some see the failure to invite kids to party as bullying or criticizing them for a bad play in an athletic game. There are clearly times when a dispute will become excessive and interfere with one's ability to succeed or even attend school, and there are also times when schools or law enforcement officials need to be informed as a matter of safety. But if you go back to the original post, there is very little to think this rises to that level, and it also seemed that the desire to bring in the school was because one of the parents was likely to be difficult. A school should never be used simply to avoid an unpleasant exchange among adults.

Anonymous wrote:OP, tell Amanda to get screenshots of the chat room bullying. She should make copies of them to give to Kate and have a face-to-face conversation with Kate. Amanda should tell Kate that the bullying has greatly upset her daughter and must stop immediately or you will be forced to take the matter further (school, police, lawsuit). I like to give the parent a chance to parent.

I agree with this.

This is also a great time to bring up the value of friendship. Why are her friends sitting by and watching this happen? They should be encouraged to step up and defend her when they see this!

Anonymous wrote:Not to mention Sandy Hook. If Cyberbullying is that bad, it should be a police issue. Kids should feel comfortable at the school but that's the extent of the school's responsibility.

That's what most of us were saying....

Anonymous wrote:Cyberbullying is not stricly a teen issue, there was no TEEN in the heading, and this is an elementary thread as well as a teenager one. I'm sorry, but when my child's 3rd grade class has 34 children, the local high school has 13 trailers outside, and other children can't even pass the SOL's or graduate, spending money on policing cyberbullying through the school is the least of my concerns. While my ideals may be pollyanish, I know very well WE CAN"T PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

Huh? Now, you are just being melodramatic to make your point. I was almost there with you talking about the cost of having the police deal with it, but this post lost me.

Most schools have a student handbook and discipline policy - that handbook may or may not include cyberbullying. The schools also already have administrators and counselors whose job, at least in part, is to enforce the rules and to discipline rule-breakers. Those people are already in the schools now....being paid. So your point that schools should not "police" cyber bullying because of the cost rings a little hollow. At my kids' school, there is not a person whose sole job is to police cyberbullies. Now, the AP for Discipline may tackle the issue occasionally, but it is already that person's job to deal with problems. From a man/hour perspective, it may cost something. But you are already paying that person - the tax dollars are already being spent.

Trust me...it would definitely not be the least of your concerns if your kid was bullied and the bullies were students in the school.

Not to mention Sandy Hook. If Cyberbullying is that bad, it should be a police issue. Kids should feel comfortable at the school but that's the extent of the school's responsibility.

Cyberbullying is not stricly a teen issue, there was no TEEN in the heading, and this is an elementary thread as well as a teenager one. I'm sorry, but when my child's 3rd grade class has 34 children, the local high school has 13 trailers outside, and other children can't even pass the SOL's or graduate, spending money on policing cyberbullying through the school is the least of my concerns. While my ideals may be pollyanish, I know very well WE CAN"T PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

11:50, as the PP said, you don't have a teenager. Of course this all seems like a waste to you, tax dollars-wise. Clearly you have too much time on your hands, as, you don't have teenagers, but, you are reading a forum on topics specifically about teenagers. Go get a hobby!

Anonymous wrote:I do not have a teenager, but really this is not where I want tax money to schools or police to be going towards. If it gets out of control, maybe the police should get involved, but we do not have the money to police every poorly written or mean comment on the web. Unless it happens on school property, I don't want the schools involved. Can you imagine if someone had to police this forum? Can't we just teach or children not to like people who talk bad about others? Situation solved. The mean guy doesn't have followers anymore.

I respect your right to your opinion, but, no offense, you really do not understand the dynamic at play if you are not around teenagers on a regular basis. Police are already "policing" the web to ferret out underage drinking and other such "crimes." As far as the school property issue, I think that schools should protect the students if the out of school incident has an in school impact. Whether it is the school taking action or referring the matter to someone who can, I am all for it. It may just be me, but I would rather have that intrusion on the front end, then have all of us ask "why didn't we do anything?" if the bullied kid commits suicide or, God forbid, harms other students.

You arguments are "philosophical" and "pollyannaish" and are not helpful with dealing with real teens in the real world.