The thing about picky eaters is that some of you guys have gone years without trying a tiny bite of foods that are on your "no" list. How the heck do you expect to whine and poormouth about what a curse it is to be picky if you won't pick up the fork or chopsticks and try the effing food? So you didn't like eggs as a kid. You aren't four years old anymore.

'bacon egg and shell casserole'

My father is the most picky eater I know. I am a chef and refuse to let him watch me cook because if he knows half of what I put in food, he won't eat it. As long as he doesn't see and no one tells him, he loves it. There's a whole slew of things that he wouldn't eat when I was growing up that I automatically crossed off. When I was in culinary school I had to try everything, so I got over it pretty quickly.

Anonymous wrote:This was one of those things I had to decide if I could deal with when I started dating my husband. It's easier to name the things he does eat than the things he doesn't: yes to burgers, fries, corn on the cob, pickles, chicken grilled or fried, apples and grapes, most sweets. Seriously, that's about it. No other vegetables, no other fruits, no sauces, no pasta, no rice, no soup, nothing ethnic. He would happily go with me to restaurants and sit and watch me eat. Never imposed on hosts, in fact hated it when anyone drew attention to his pickiness. (He had gastric bypass recently so isn't eating much of anything now.)

It runs in his family - father wont eat chicken but will eat pasta, but not much else differently. Mother says she's allergic to garlic but I'm not sure. They are all super sensitive to smells - my FIL goes berserk when MIL cooks pancakes. His sisters have at least broadened their tastes somewhat, although one sister also has an aversion to any white foods.

I have been able to live with it for nearly 15 years, but my biggest worry is how to not pass it onto our kids.

PP, you sound very kind and understanding toward your husband. As another picky eater, I just want to say how much I appreciate this kind approach. I am sure that, like me, your husband wishes that his palette were more expansive, for his own health and to make other people happy. Like your DH, the last thing I want to do is draw attention to my pickiness. I would never impose on a host/hostess for a special meal.

What bothers me, and it's especially triggered by reading the intolerant and unkind people on this thread, is how much OTHER people impose their food tastes on me when it's none of their business. Like, if I am at a family function and I don't eat most of what is being served, let's say I can find something out of the buffet to at least have one thing on my plate -- corn on the cob or pasta or something. Everyone else's plate will be piled high with all sorts of other stuff, so the relative sparseness of my plate will inevitably draw comment. Mind you, I'm not complaining! I've said nothing! I want no one to notice what I'm eating. But everyone else feels entitled to inventory what's on my plate. "Oh, Anne, you're not eating much!" "Oh, this is fine, thank you" "But you hardly have anything there!" "Oh, don't you know Anne doesn't eat pasta salad or potato salad?" "WHAT??!! Why not?!?" "This is just fine for me, thanks, it looks delicious!" "But how could you miss out on Aunt Millie's pasta salad? She has radishes from her garden in it?" "Oh, Anne doesn't eat radishes." "WHAT?! Doesn't eat RADISHES? What is wrong with you, Anne, they're delicious!"

Same thing happens at work buffets. We have a weekly Friday morning buffet at my office with all sorts of things that others enjoy but that I don't eat. I can't skip it altogether because that is commented on, so I typically quietly go through the line and take just a couple of things, like fresh fruit and a plain bagel (as opposed to lots of meat and cheese casseroles, breakfast burritos, etc.) "Anne! What are you on a diet or something?" "No, I already ate a big breakfast this morning, and this fruit will just hit the spot." "You already ate?! Why would you eat when Sam has made his delicious bacon egg and shell casserole again? You've got to try it!" "No, thank you, this is enough for me, this is delicious." "But you've tried it, haven't you?" "No, thank you, I haven't." "But you must! SAM! Anne has never had your breakfast casserole!" "ANNE! HERE! HERE! Take a piece! Let me put it on your plate, there is plenty of room." "No, really, Sam, thank you, I can't." "What, you don't eat bacon? But it's not pork bacon, it's beef bacon!" "Thank you for the offer, but no." "But WHY?!"

And on and on. If I tell Sam the truth that I don't eat casseroles made out of other people's kitchens because I'm allergic to peanuts and casseroles just make me anxious that a peanut may be in there, well, that clearly shows that I'm irrational. And Sam gets defensive. "But there's no peanut in there!" "I know, Sam, I understand. But I'd really just prefer not to have it. I already ate breakfast." "What, you don't TRUST ME?!? You think I've got PEANUTS all over my kitchen and don't know it?" "No, Sam, I'm sure your kitchen is fine. But I'm fine with what is on my plate, thank you for the offer." "But why won't you just TRY IT?"

One of the PP's above replied and said that picky eaters like me should always offer to pay to eat out at a restaurant. If I am staying with someone who is personally offended by the fact that I won't necessarily eat whatever she serves me (I don't request special meals, and if I am not asked, I'm not going to tell someone ahead of time that I won't eat something), of course I will offer to pay for us to go to a restaurant. So let's say we all agree to go to a Mexican restaurant (the menu for which I will have quietly previewed online to be sure they serve something that I will eat) and I order something I know I'll eat, like a chicken enchilada. Then I get, "But last time we were at a Mexican restaurant you ordered a chicken enchilada! You have to try the brain tacos!" "No, thanks, this sounds delicious." "But have just one of my brain tacos." "No, thank you, I prefer chicken." "WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS BE SO DIFFICULT?" "Anne is SUCH a picky eater! Did you know she won't eat radishes either?"

I don't walk around trying to provoke people with my food aversions. I don't want to trouble anyone. I really hate attention being drawn to it, and I truly am not intending to inconvenience anyone. I just don't know why so many people consider it their business.

Anonymous wrote:

I just wanted to tell you you are not alone, OP. M IL's act like small children - worse! - in this regard. DH is a horrible example to DCs in this regard, too. It is very frustrating. It never occurred to me to be so picky about anything, especially food.

You know, it never "occurred" to me to be picky about food, either. It's not my choice. At all. It has caused me a lot of pain and embarrassment. It would be much easier to be able to go to work functions and know I wasn't going to go hungry. Or go to people's houses and be able to cordially say "sure, I'd love that" to every food offered to me at a friend's house. Or to avoid all of the verbal abuse, sighs, eye rolling, and crap that I get from people who supposedly love me but disdain my food aversions.

I don't want my child to pick up on my eating weirdness. I wouldn't wish this on him any more than a mental or physical illness. It sucks. And I'm not doing it to inconvenience you, so I doubt your inlaws are either.

This was one of those things I had to decide if I could deal with when I started dating my husband. It's easier to name the things he does eat than the things he doesn't: yes to burgers, fries, corn on the cob, pickles, chicken grilled or fried, apples and grapes, most sweets. Seriously, that's about it. No other vegetables, no other fruits, no sauces, no pasta, no rice, no soup, nothing ethnic. He would happily go with me to restaurants and sit and watch me eat. Never imposed on hosts, in fact hated it when anyone drew attention to his pickiness. (He had gastric bypass recently so isn't eating much of anything now.)

It runs in his family - father wont eat chicken but will eat pasta, but not much else differently. Mother says she's allergic to garlic but I'm not sure. They are all super sensitive to smells - my FIL goes berserk when MIL cooks pancakes. His sisters have at least broadened their tastes somewhat, although one sister also has an aversion to any white foods.

I have been able to live with it for nearly 15 years, but my biggest worry is how to not pass it onto our kids.

I just wanted to tell you you are not alone, OP. M IL's act like small children - worse! - in this regard. DH is a horrible example to DCs in this regard, too. It is very frustrating. It never occurred to me to be so picky about anything, especially food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made a delicious cajun chicken pasta a couple weeks ago. It wasn't spicy as in hot, but it did have quite a few spices in it. Very flavorful. My DH, who is also a picky eater, took a few bites and said, "I just don't like spices." : (
It gets difficult being married to a picky eater, so just be glad you only have to deal with it with in laws!

Forget your DH, give me that recipe.

Me too!

OKAY but it is not healthy or anything, so... caveat emptor.

I cut up a bunch of chicken tender pieces ( or breast pieces) into bite size chunks and coat them liberally in Tony's seasoning. (Or, if you can't find that, any kind of Cajun seasoning.) Brown in a pan with onion and garlic. Add some more Tony's if you think you need it- it seasons the whole dish. When the chicken is browned, add in a can of diced tomatoes and about a cup of heavy cream- enough to mostly cover the chicken. Then add in (to your tastes) some parsley, oregano and basil. (And if I am making this just for myself, I add crushed red pepper. And sometimes some garlic and onion powder on top of the fresh garlic and onion, just to make sure it's very flavorful.) Let this simmer away while you cook up some bowtie pasta. That will take about 13 minutes to al dente, so the sauce will thicken a bit. When the pasta is done, add about 1/2 cup (or more!) of parmesan to the sauce, then dump the bowties in and mix well. It's even better the next day. I have always toyed with the idea of throwing in some diced green bell pepper and some mushrooms, which I think would make it even better. Also, I think this would be good with shrimp.

FYI, Tony's seasoning IS very spicy to those of us who are sensitive to these things. Anything described as "Cajun" is probably going to be. I love spices that aren't "hot" though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made a delicious cajun chicken pasta a couple weeks ago. It wasn't spicy as in hot, but it did have quite a few spices in it. Very flavorful. My DH, who is also a picky eater, took a few bites and said, "I just don't like spices." : (
It gets difficult being married to a picky eater, so just be glad you only have to deal with it with in laws!

I am what you would consider a picky eater. However, some of it is not mere preference. What is "barely spicy" to you will physically burn my tongue and take 2-3 days to go away. What is "warm" temperature-wise to you, will also burn my mouth, and my body perceives as very hot.

I really DO understand that it's frustrating for you. But please understand with hot or spicy foods it's literally physically painful for some of us out there.

This is me too. I am willing to try a variety of things and I eat lots of foreign foods but spicy "hot" I just can't take. Everyone always says "oh it's not that spicy" and I'm sitting there gulping down ice water (yes I know that's not supposed to be the best remedy for this but it's what I crave when my mouth is on fire).

I am not a chef. If you are picky eater offer to pick up the tab at a restaurant you can tolerate. Happiness for all.

Wow, I'm bummed by so many intolerant responses here.

I'm one I'd those annoying picky adult eaters. I dont make demands on hosts and I don't complain when food is not to my liking; it's not something I choose, and I am sorry that it displeases hosts who are looking for compliments on their food or just the pleasure of feeding a guest. Believe me, if it were simply a matter of willpower, I'd be less picky because I hate to displease people. But my pickiness is not a choice -- whether you call it OCD or anxiety or an eating disorder, it's not a choice. The best therapists have been able to offer is anti-anxiety meds, but since I don't have anxiety about any other issue, I don't want to take a systemic medicine for symptoms that are well controlled by simply sticking to food sources that are familiar and "safe".

A PP described her annoying friend above as someone who wouldn't eat stir fry or casseroles, has weird texture issues, didn't like different kinds of foods to mix. That's me. There's a semi-rational basis to all this -- I have a deadly peanut allergy, and I won't eat a strange mixture of lots of different types of food unless I an check it and make sure there are no peanuts in it. The irrational part of that is needing to check myself even when someone tells me there are no
Peanuts, but if I don't, I just am highly uncomfortable and anxious the whole time while eating. I'd rather relax and enjoy my "safe" food than be anxious and agitated the whole time I'm eating.

I I was your guest, OP, I wouldn't expect you to cater to my whims. Cook what you like. But please don't be possessives off or start pressuring me if I don't fill my plate or if I eat just one thing you offer. Part of being a good hostess is helping your guests feel comfortable. I don't demand special meals or menus, but I don't deserve to be harangued or harassed because I don't enjoy your food.

My FIL refuses to eat anything at all from any Mexican or Asian restaurant -- really, any cuisine other than standard American or Italian. My DH used to be that way, and I've slowly introduced him to more and more things -- now there are things he can order and enjoy or at least tolerate at just about any restaurant. My FIL, who takes the familial stubbornness to a whole new exponential level? REFUSES to go to any "exotic" restaurant. He likes chicken and beef and vegetables -- you can get chicken soft tacos or fajitas at a Mexican place, or heck, a quesadilla! You can get beef and broccoli at a Chinese place!

I poste earlier about my disgust with picky eaters. I have no problem with someone who doesn't eat a wide variety of foods in their own home, or orders the same things over and over when out. I have a problem with people who are so inflexible that they attend a food-related event and either stress the hosts out in advance by listing their aversions at length, or who spend most of the evening making it clear to everyone that they are displeased with the offerings. When the food is free, cowboy up and eat what is served. If the host has a normal range of options (a veggie, a carb, an entree) and you can't find at least one item served that you at least halfway tolerate, then you need to start training yourself to eat normal human food.

I agree the picky eating thing is childish and petulant. It really puts me off people when they make a big deal about what they like and don't like. It would be a deal-breaker for a spouse.

OP,
I think I used to be a picky eater -- but it was really just that I hadn't been exposed to a lot of food. Then as a young adult I realized it was kind of embarassing to be a guest at people's houses and pick around things that were often served. So, at 23 yrs. old, I set about teaching myself to like things: broccoli (started with raw and used ranch dressing, progressed to cooked), cooked carrots, mushrooms, red/green peppers, cauliflower, strawberries, etc. I tried to like peas, but I just don't like them.

My point is that it is kind of a "growing up" thing to learn to eat basic fruits/veggies. I think your in laws must live in a world where they aren't served anything but what they order... so they aren't motivated to try/like other things.