Anonymous wrote:My dh sucks at buying gifts, but otherwise he is a wonderful guy. I just tell him what to buy, and we're happy. It's not a big deal. End of story. Get over it.

Why don't you just cut out the middle man and buy all your own gifts then? Just as romantic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look--I keep a wish list, I send emails with links, I point out things in passing and I even have a Pinterest board. DH simply can't be bothered. I do think it says a lot about how much attention he pays and how much he cares when he doesn't make any effort at all.

Keep in mind, it also says a lot about how much you think about what your "gifts" should be.

Not the PP, but not everyone just buys whatever they want whenever they want it. Some of us keep wishlists so that we don't become the family that has everything and there can be a nice surprise and delayed gratification at birthdays and Christmas. The alternative is we fill up our house with stuff all year long and then it's filled up with more stuff that we don't want or need on holidays.

MY DH is all over the place. One year CVS gift pack. Thanks, WT?! One year an new car. THANKS! This year I sent a PDF with some suggestions. The kids are just shocked at how expensive adult gifts are (they do not understand that we keep them for years) I really prefer to just go shopping with DH, something we almost never do, and then discuss it. I am not 5 years old any more. I am picky and I dont like clutter. Not a big fan of gifts, really. Traumatic childhood.

DH sucks at it because his father sucked at it. FIL never once brought MIL flowers, for that matter. Not even a daisy picked from someones yard. Its weird to see because everyone I've dated has had extremely generous families and parents were really good to each other and like spending time together. Dhs family does none of this and complain every time there is so much as a snow day ("NOW what do I do?!" My response: Really??!!) To be with a cold, bitter, scrooge like family feels really weird to me. I really think DH just hates holidays. I try to give him ideas, I just don't know if he wants them. I ask him to give me specific ideas or links because he doesn't really need anything.

Anonymous wrote:Kiss my ass!!! I don't suck at buying gifts!!!

Go to a small local jeweler where they create jewelry on-site. You may pay more but you'll find somewhat unique pieces of jewelry which your wife will always be happy to wear.

Always avoid stores like Kay Jewelers which is the McDonald's of jewelry stores because their stuff is so tasteless and generic.

Except DW doesn't wear jewelry. No earrings, rings, bracelets, necklaces, nothing. The only exception is she will occasionally wear her wedding ring. The key to good gift-giving is putting some serious thought and research into it. It takes time and effort. There is no universal recommendation like "go to a small local jeweler" that will work for everyone. Something from there might please that poster, but everybody is different.

Anonymous wrote:OP (and 13:33, if you're not the same person) - why, when your husband disappoints you yet again, do you assume that it is a failing with the male gender, and not with the particular member of that gender to whom you decided to hitch your wagon? Are you just incapable of believign that YOUR husband is a d-bag because it reflects poorly on you? Is it that you don't want to admit that your husband care enough about you to make the effort, and it's more comforting to believe that it is a flaw specific to the Y chromosome?

I'm the OP and I have no problems with my husband & gifts. I started the thread in response to another threat that had story after story of men giving their wives car mats, vacuum cleaners and bowling balls custom made for the men (yes, a la Homer Simpson). All that other shit you are talking about could be you projecting what you are feeling inside. If it's the subject line you object to, c'mon--you need a good headline to hook the readers. Get with the program.

Just to give a different female perspective...my husband tries, and the effort is loved and appreciated. My DH always buys me thoughtful gifts (when he buys me anything--he skipped my birthday and our anniversary, this year), and they're always inexpensive, and always wonderfully wrong. My big Chanukah present this year was a set of dreadful coasters that he thought I'd get a kick out of. I put them out on my desk at work--a wonderful, daily reminder of his often misguided efforts, which never fail to make me smile.

Anonymous wrote:It's really not that hard. Buy your wife something that you would have a problem with any other man buying for her. Would you have a problem with her male co-worker buying her earrings? A book of love poetry? A necklace?

Never buy her anything that is practical (car floor mats) or domestic (a vacuum cleaner).

No more excuses.

Says the woman who probably buys the world's ugliest ties for her husband.

Why do people like to paint an entire large group of people with huge stereotypical brush strokes. There are millions of men and you think that because your husband sucks at buying gifts that all men do?

My dh sucks at buying gifts, but otherwise he is a wonderful guy. I just tell him what to buy, and we're happy. It's not a big deal. End of story. Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:

Men: Why Do You Suck at Buying Gifts?

Women: Why don't you suck more?

There's a correlation.

Exactly!

Men: Why Do You Suck at Buying Gifts?

Women: Why don't you suck more?

There's a correlation.

Kiss my ass!!! I don't suck at buying gifts!!!

Go to a small local jeweler where they create jewelry on-site. You may pay more but you'll find somewhat unique pieces of jewelry which your wife will always be happy to wear.

Always avoid stores like Kay Jewelers which is the McDonald's of jewelry stores because their stuff is so tasteless and generic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't all suck. My husband is an amazing gift giver. A. MAZE. ING.

Examples?

When we got married we paid for the majority of our wedding and said we were not buying gifts. I took this very literally. He bought me gorgeous jewelry for our wedding anyway and totally surprised me at our rehearsal dinner. I burst into tears when I opened them. He made it even better by insisting that his intent was for them to be family heirlooms that could be passed on to our children. It's not really so much the gifts themselves but the joy and thoughtfulness with which he gives them. He really tries to think about what I will like and what will make me happy. And the fact that he is so happy to give them to me makes me love him even more.

Okay. Sounding like a Kay commercial now. Barf. Sorry about that.

Anonymous wrote:They don't all suck. My husband is an amazing gift giver. A. MAZE. ING.

Examples?

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I suck at it.

DH is a great gift giver.

Yep, this is me. If you tell me what you want I will totally make sure that you have it. If I am lost in a store or browsing online, I am lost in the world.