Anonymous
11/04/2012 21:33
Subject: Re:Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Here is the thing, if she screws up her life in college, at least she has a high school diploma.
Yeah, I hear that that and about $1.50 will get you on the bus these days.
Anonymous
11/04/2012 21:31
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
A lot of growing up happens between 16 and 18, folks ...
Anonymous
11/04/2012 20:42
Subject: Re:Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Here is the thing, if she screws up her life in college, at least she has a high school diploma. If she screws up her life at 16...Anonymous wrote:Hells to the no.
And it has nothing to do with trusting your child, so stop trying to make the OP feel like she doesn't trust her DD if she doesn't let her go.
It's about parenting. You have no idea what these other kids will be like, even if your daughter is completely well-behaved the whole time. So many things can go wrong that will be out of your daughter's control and have nothing to do with how "good" she is.
I am really surprised at how naive some parents are!
As for the formerly "good" students who are now parents 1) trust us who were not so "good" when we kids (when away from our parents) when we tell you that we had parents fooled with our good grades but partied hard out of their sight and 2) maybe you can vouch for your child -- can you vouch for every other child there? Are you so close with the parents that you can vouch for them too?
Please -- not letting your 16-yr-old rent a beach house with 10 others (incl. guys) does not equal keeping your child under lock and key.
But here is the thing - in two years, her kid is likely going to be living someplace other than her home, and not be supervised by adults on a regular basis at all. What, in your mind, is the difference that occurs in those two years that makes it ok for the kid to live in a dorm on her own at a coed school for months at a time at 18, but not ok to take a week long trip supervised by two adults at age 16?
Anonymous
11/04/2012 20:21
Subject: Re:Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Hells to the no.
And it has nothing to do with trusting your child, so stop trying to make the OP feel like she doesn't trust her DD if she doesn't let her go.
It's about parenting. You have no idea what these other kids will be like, even if your daughter is completely well-behaved the whole time. So many things can go wrong that will be out of your daughter's control and have nothing to do with how "good" she is.
I am really surprised at how naive some parents are!
As for the formerly "good" students who are now parents 1) trust us who were not so "good" when we kids (when away from our parents) when we tell you that we had parents fooled with our good grades but partied hard out of their sight and 2) maybe you can vouch for your child -- can you vouch for every other child there? Are you so close with the parents that you can vouch for them too?
Please -- not letting your 16-yr-old rent a beach house with 10 others (incl. guys) does not equal keeping your child under lock and key.
But here is the thing - in two years, her kid is likely going to be living someplace other than her home, and not be supervised by adults on a regular basis at all. What, in your mind, is the difference that occurs in those two years that makes it ok for the kid to live in a dorm on her own at a coed school for months at a time at 18, but not ok to take a week long trip supervised by two adults at age 16?
Anonymous
11/04/2012 19:36
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Hells to the no.
And it has nothing to do with trusting your child, so stop trying to make the OP feel like she doesn't trust her DD if she doesn't let her go.
It's about parenting. You have no idea what these other kids will be like, even if your daughter is completely well-behaved the whole time. So many things can go wrong that will be out of your daughter's control and have nothing to do with how "good" she is.
I am really surprised at how naive some parents are!
As for the formerly "good" students who are now parents 1) trust us who were not so "good" when we kids (when away from our parents) when we tell you that we had parents fooled with our good grades but partied hard out of their sight and 2) maybe you can vouch for your child -- can you vouch for every other child there? Are you so close with the parents that you can vouch for them too?
Please -- not letting your 16-yr-old rent a beach house with 10 others (incl. guys) does not equal keeping your child under lock and key.
And it has nothing to do with trusting your child, so stop trying to make the OP feel like she doesn't trust her DD if she doesn't let her go.
It's about parenting. You have no idea what these other kids will be like, even if your daughter is completely well-behaved the whole time. So many things can go wrong that will be out of your daughter's control and have nothing to do with how "good" she is.
I am really surprised at how naive some parents are!
As for the formerly "good" students who are now parents 1) trust us who were not so "good" when we kids (when away from our parents) when we tell you that we had parents fooled with our good grades but partied hard out of their sight and 2) maybe you can vouch for your child -- can you vouch for every other child there? Are you so close with the parents that you can vouch for them too?
Please -- not letting your 16-yr-old rent a beach house with 10 others (incl. guys) does not equal keeping your child under lock and key.
Anonymous
11/04/2012 19:24
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
I think most of the parents here are being over protective. I would talk to the parents. If I felt they really were going to supervise and I trusted my child, I would say yes. At 16, if you don't trust your child, there's really nothing you can do because you can't keep them under lock and key. Plus if you talk to the parents and are still uncomfortable you have something very specific to point to if you say no as opposed to a blanketI don't trust you.
Anonymous
11/04/2012 18:39
Subject: Re:Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You can't depend on 'good kids' doing the right thing all of the time. Not all kids who drink, use drugs, and have sex are disrespectful, poor students, and/or from undesirable, uncaring families. Even a lot of the top kids, the honor roll, award-winning, community-service-doing kids from wonderful, loving families experiment at this age and do things which we would disapprove of!! Don't be fooled into thinking that 'good kids' are above acting irresponsibly, especially on a trip where there is little supervision!
True, but about 1/3 of all high school students are not drinking, having sex or using drugs. That is a lot of good kids who are being good. Not everyone is out having drunken orgies in their teens.
Correct. And say you let your "good kid" go on a lightly supervised trip with other "good kids", and some of the kids let a little loose, use poor judgement (as most teens do at some point), and while your good kid might not drink or use drugs, she might climb into a car with someone who's been drinking, or find herself in an unsafe situation. It's not always your kid you have to worry about, it's the other kids and adults as well. So, no, I would not let my 16 year old go on a coed spring break trip with one or two adults. Absolutely not.
Anonymous
11/04/2012 18:38
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Not a chance.
Anonymous
11/04/2012 18:04
Subject: Re:Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Anonymous wrote:You can't depend on 'good kids' doing the right thing all of the time. Not all kids who drink, use drugs, and have sex are disrespectful, poor students, and/or from undesirable, uncaring families. Even a lot of the top kids, the honor roll, award-winning, community-service-doing kids from wonderful, loving families experiment at this age and do things which we would disapprove of!! Don't be fooled into thinking that 'good kids' are above acting irresponsibly, especially on a trip where there is little supervision!
True, but about 1/3 of all high school students are not drinking, having sex or using drugs. That is a lot of good kids who are being good. Not everyone is out having drunken orgies in their teens.
Anonymous
11/04/2012 17:57
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Another vote for, no way!
Anonymous
11/04/2012 17:50
Subject: Re:Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
You can't depend on 'good kids' doing the right thing all of the time. Not all kids who drink, use drugs, and have sex are disrespectful, poor students, and/or from undesirable, uncaring families. Even a lot of the top kids, the honor roll, award-winning, community-service-doing kids from wonderful, loving families experiment at this age and do things which we would disapprove of!! Don't be fooled into thinking that 'good kids' are above acting irresponsibly, especially on a trip where there is little supervision!
Anonymous
11/04/2012 16:04
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
Yes, I would let my child go if there were going to be two adults there to supervise, unless my child had done something previously to indicate that she was untrustworthy. If not, I'd view it as good practice for college in two years (except that there will no longer be two adults there to supervise at that point).
Anonymous
11/04/2012 15:59
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
I was a good kid in high school too and didn't drink, have sex or do drugs. I went on a spring break trip with 6 friends (co-ed) and none of us had sex or got drunk or did drugs.
It really depends OP on who your daughter is and the other kids. If she hangs out with these same kids then she has likely spent quite a bit of time with them and could have done anything she wanted to already. Is she responsible? She she been making decisions for herself for awhile and shown you she can make responsible, mature decision?
I a year or two she will be an adult - old enough to live on her own and make all her own decisions. Deciding whether this trip is a good step towards that adult independence is really dependent on who your daughter is.
It really depends OP on who your daughter is and the other kids. If she hangs out with these same kids then she has likely spent quite a bit of time with them and could have done anything she wanted to already. Is she responsible? She she been making decisions for herself for awhile and shown you she can make responsible, mature decision?
I a year or two she will be an adult - old enough to live on her own and make all her own decisions. Deciding whether this trip is a good step towards that adult independence is really dependent on who your daughter is.
Anonymous
11/04/2012 15:49
Subject: Re:Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
I was also a "good kid" in high school. Great grades, varsity sports. And yet, my friends and I would go to a friends beach house for a weekend and the partying, sex and drugs we did was insane. My mom thought it was just a couple of girls spending the weekend tOgether. There was no supervision whatsoever and we are very lucky no one got hurt. And oh bye, if you had met the parents of the friend who had the beach house--you would have had no idea how wild their girls were. Another vote for no. Too long of a trip and way too little supervision. Why put your kids in a situation where they are likely to make bad choices?
Anonymous
11/04/2012 13:14
Subject: Should I let my 16 year old go on this Spring Break trip?
NO. Maybe it would be considered for a moment at 18... Absolutely not at 16.