Im a FTM and when we found our we were having a girl at the u/s, I was disappointed. In the privacy of my home I even cried. It all stems from the very difficult relantionship I still have with my mother (100% narcissist). Every fear I had about becoming my mother just came out at that moment. I talked honestly with my husband and a few close friends and it made all the difference. I am so happy that the baby is healthy (31 weeks and counting) and getting into all the pink clothes has been fun. And a friend pointed out that based on my upbringing i know what NOT to do with a daughter! I kind of feel there is a bigger plan at work and having a girl is exactly what I needed. Very excited!

Anonymous wrote:I totally wanted a boy. I believed I was having a boy. Then we got a girl. She's a year old. I'm still disappointed.

i hope thats a joke

Anonymous wrote:I totally wanted a boy. I believed I was having a boy. Then we got a girl. She's a year old. I'm still disappointed.

uh, wow. why didn't you just adopt if the sex was so criticial to your enjoyment of your child? Seriously, in this area, you get what you get and you don't get upset.

I totally wanted a boy. I believed I was having a boy. Then we got a girl. She's a year old. I'm still disappointed.

My husband really wanted a girl and was worried about how he would react to finding out it was a boy. Pretty much for that reason alone, we did find out the sex at 20 weeks and we're having a boy. I think it was good for him to have time to adjust his expectations before meeting our son. He's very excited now to have a boy but needed a little time to get used to it.

We had two girls and for our third my husband and I both really wanted a third girl!
We both cried and had a little pity party, I feel so bad now when I hold my precious 5 month old Son. Everyone has fallen in love with him. I think that you get what you need--wether you realize it or not at the time.
Your husband will ADORE his girl!

We both wanted a boy... were pretty shocked when we found out it was a girl at the a/s. Now, eight weeks later, we are both THRILLED to be having a girl and can't wait to meet her. I think PP is right that you sometimes have a hard time saying good-bye to your expectations/visions.

this whole thread is why DH and I agreed not to find out the gender. At first he wanted a boy and I wanted a girl, but by the end, we both were just dying to see WHAT the baby was, like a present that you don't care what it is as long as you get to open it already! It was impossible to be disappointed when we saw that cute little face for the first time.

PS for the second we accidentally found out, and ironically, it was me who had to deal with disappointment over a girl.

Anonymous wrote:My DH is disappointed that our second will be a boy. We are 33 weeks. He was just awful at the ultrasound- sullen, as I was super excited that there were ten fingers and toes. It's really taken a toll on our marriage during this pregnancy.

wow - well the sperm determines it, does he know that? he should be mad at himself if anything
its really ridiculous to get that upset though...i can understand wanting a certain gender, but not to that extent

My DH is disappointed that our second will be a boy. We are 33 weeks. He was just awful at the ultrasound- sullen, as I was super excited that there were ten fingers and toes. It's really taken a toll on our marriage during this pregnancy.

I was super disappointed (devastated, actually) both times I found out I was having boys. Fell in love with each within a week of birth, feel like our bond and love is just how it's supposed to be. They are the joys of my life. Gender disappointment is horrible and real, but passes for the most part. I still wish I had a daughter, but I don't love my sons any less for it.

Anonymous wrote:I really do think it's about readjusting expectations. I think men picture a boy because it's what they can relate to...but every man I know who ends up with a little girl has fallen head over heels in love with her. Fathers and daughters have special relationships. I'm having a boy and my husband and I both said their would be a tiny bit of disappointment no matter what the gender as silly as that sounds - you have to say "goodbye" to the other little person you had in your head!

THIS. We have our A/S on Monday and I'm already a bit sad that I'm losing one of the babies in my head.

My ex had the same reaction when I had a boy (he wanted a girl). I didn't find out the sex ahead of time and it didn't matter to me much anyway. I just wanted a healthy baby (after a very dangerous pre-eclampsia end of pregnancy, emergency c-section and complications). The sex of the baby is determined by the father so I always remind him that God must have known what he really needed and sent it to him. He is the opposite of most men in that he wanted a girl, not a boy. Oh well. When I think about friends whose kids have special needs or have infertility, I remind him to be grateful every day for what God sent him.

Anonymous wrote:Those at home gender tests are scams

I'm the PP and I agree. We figured it was about the same price as a couple of movie tickets, and just as entertaining. We certainly didn't start decorating the nursery based on the results, it just made for some fun conversations.

Those at home gender tests are scams