OP, you said you found out about all this from friends. Your son never said it bothered him to you, and you never talked to your EX about it, it sounds. It sounds to me like you heard from your friends a woman came with your ex, then you thought back and noticed some misbehavior from your 7 year old, and put 2 and 2 together and decided to go after your EX with lawyers. You've got a tough road ahead of you if that's the way you're going to play it. Maybe you should have called your EX and gotten his side of the story, and tried to work something out with him. Instead, you've taken gossip and gone to the lawyers and started tossing around the idea of court orders and contempt. Come on. You KNOW there was a better way to handle this, you sound like you were just chomping at the bait to nail your ex's ass to the wall.

By OP's original post she has no direct information on anything that happened with the ex's weekend. There's a whole lot of guessing and assuming the worst. OP's drawn a conclusion on what she thinks took place and is now taking up legal action. How are you going to prove anything for purposes of this legal motion and how will enforce it go forward?

OP, I don't understand all of the negative responses. They're probably responding to what's going on in their lives and not to anything that you've written. Your concerns are valid and your handling of the situation seems reasonable. Keep documenting, keep bringing in intermediaries who'll take the pressure off of you.

This entire situation is sad. I feel on all sides it is driven by a one upmanship and fear. All of course masking as caring the best for the child.
In light of this post, with talk of lawyers and accusations of How could she/How could he- everyone is making assumptions for the child as an after thought. The child was not in danger and was not harmed. It is just a situation not handeled in a text book way. Guess what? That happens in married homes- and no one gets to call in a lawyer.
Its situations like this that make me realize how much I respect my husbands first wife, and the relationship they have. They kept money out the divorce (sure there is an order- where SHE would pay) but no one enforces. They spilt kid costs 50/50 and let the other one live their life. No one brings in lawyers everytime there is a dispute.
Just two adults, acting like adults, and loving their kids from seperate homes.
I hope you and your husband get there OP, but you have to stop keeping score first.

I'm the directly above PP, I also think the situation is way out of line. There is no way that a GF should be sleeping in the same room. There should not even be a hint of sleeping together before the first meeting. Your ex moved a little too quickly with all of this.

OP, look over your custody agreement. Mine has very specific verbiage about non-family overnight guests, including a requirement for separate sleeping arrangements like a guest bedroom. Yours may have this, too. I purposely made my custody agreement very precise about any number of given situations, and I have sole physical and legal custody all veto power because of an ass-hat dad.

I don't think that your child should be sleeping in the same room with a gf/bf but I also agree that this sounds like a very hostile relationship between parents.

Anonymous wrote:Because you're acting like a child.

smart answer!

Because you're acting like a child.

Anonymous wrote:She took a situation she did not like, Dad and new gf meeting kid- overreacted and got the lawyers involved. She started the post by talking about how a long and drawn out court battle is what put them down the road to no communication, and is headed there again.
This lets her paint herself as the one true parents who cars for the 'best interest of her child' and Dad as loose cannon.
Go ahead and get your court oder- and have fun getting enforced. Its not my kid, clearly... but I cannot stand it when grownups act like kids.

OP here: the first legal battle was started and extended by dad. I was just reacting to the blows and had to hire lawyers since I don't have a legal background.
And what lets you paint me as a "grown up acting like kid"?

Op--I'm hoping some or all of the hostile PPs were the same person. I absolutely would be troubled by the situation. It may be difficult to address but very legitimate to care/try. Good luck!

I am shocked by the number of people who defend the dad

Ew I'm grossed out by the people who think this ok! Why the hell should a 7 year old sleep in a hotel room with a woman he's never met who is not a relative? That's just WEIRD. Thank God OP has some sense, otherwise I'd feel worse for the kid. Good for you getting lawyers involved. Your kid needs a father who cares about his emotional well being more than his latest fling.

OP, congrats on getting your lawyer involved. Def the right move

I think your ex and son should have shared a room and the gf could have had her own room. Or ex and gf share a room and son sleeps overnight at home and spends days with them.

I doubt she's going to hurt him but it sounds like your ex didn't handle this well and appropriately.