Anonymous wrote:Awful people here. What do you gain by judgeing? Can non-religious people not like rituals and tradition? Is it reserved for those willing to pay lip service?

Have a naming ceremony and someone to come and give a nice speech. Your kid will grow to be fine person

Sure, OP can make up whatever ceremony she wants, or have a Wiccan ceremony, whatever. And the rest of us are entitled to have opinions about it, I'm sort of shocked you think otherwise.

And go back a few pages to the PP who asked why OP needs hollow rituals in the first place, and how this seems inconsistent with atheism.

Anonymous wrote:How does it have to be? When did tolerance become so rare that a person has to turn into an eskimo?
When did you become the ritual police?

Are you the OP? I'm 9:43 and I'll say it again. Ritual or tradition implies a repetitive activity, something that has meaning even if that meaning is derived from simply doing the same thing again and again.

No one seems to be clear as to what specifically she is seeking from having a total stranger say as-yet-not-clear words about her newborn child in front of family and friends. Some are being unkind about it, but I think the point remains that no one understands what she's trying to get from said-ceremony especially since she specified she's fine with a complete stranger as long as they are free or very inexpensive.

It's not intolerant, it's confusion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful people here. What do you gain by judgeing? Can non-religious people not like rituals and tradition? Is it reserved for those willing to pay lip service?

Have a naming ceremony and someone to come and give a nice speech. Your kid will grow to be fine person

rit·u·al? ?/?r?t?u?l/ Show Spelled[rich-oo-uhl]
noun
1. an established or procedure for a religious or other rite


tra·di·tion? ?/tr??d???n/ Show Spelled[truh-dish-uhn]
noun
1. the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.
2 something that is handed down: the traditions of the Eskimos.
3.How is this either a ritual or a tradition?

How does it have to be? When did tolerance become so rare that a person has to turn into an eskimo?
When did you become the ritual police?

Anonymous wrote:Awful people here. What do you gain by judgeing? Can non-religious people not like rituals and tradition? Is it reserved for those willing to pay lip service?

Have a naming ceremony and someone to come and give a nice speech. Your kid will grow to be fine person

Because anybody who has a Jewish naming ceremony, or has a child baptized, is "just paying lip service?" No, people who do these see real meaning behind it, and they have real connections to the rabbi, priest or minister and to their worship communities.

That's the point you're missing, and that a rent-a-rev you talked to for 1/2 hour before the secular "ceremony" is never going to be able to provide. How is a total stranger going to "give a nice speech" that has any meaning and doesn't just end up looking awkward? OP has the last thing mentioned above, a connection with her family and friends, and she'd be better off sticking with that in a party where part of the celebration is a formal program led by her and her partner.

Anonymous wrote:Awful people here. What do you gain by judgeing? Can non-religious people not like rituals and tradition? Is it reserved for those willing to pay lip service?

Have a naming ceremony and someone to come and give a nice speech. Your kid will grow to be fine person

rit·u·al? ?/?r?t?u?l/ Show Spelled[rich-oo-uhl]
noun
1. an established or prescribed procedure for a religious or other rite.
2. a system or collection of religious or other rites.
3. observance of set forms in public worship.
4. a book of rites or ceremonies.
5. a book containing the offices to be used by priests in administering the sacraments and for visitation of the sick, burial of the dead, etc.



tra·di·tion? ?/tr??d???n/ Show Spelled[truh-dish-uhn]
noun
1. the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.
2. something that is handed down: the traditions of the Eskimos.
3. a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting: The rebellious students wanted to break with tradition.
4. a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices.
5. a customary or characteristic method or manner: The winner took a victory lap in the usual track tradition.


How is this either a ritual or a tradition?

Awful people here. What do you gain by judgeing? Can non-religious people not like rituals and tradition? Is it reserved for those willing to pay lip service?

Have a naming ceremony and someone to come and give a nice speech. Your kid will grow to be fine person

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I smell a gift grab.

Or an eventual helicopter parent.

Or a sincere person who is a tad too self-absorbed to think this all the way through.

Anonymous wrote:I smell a gift grab.

Or an eventual helicopter parent.

I smell a gift grab.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Seriously, if nothing else I am surprised that there are such few attempts at being PC, even on an anonymous website.

We had an "officiant" at my first child's naming ceremony, and it was incredibly meaningful. We participanted, and basically designed the program, but to us having someone help guide that program (more than an MC) was invaluable because it let us be participants ourselves.

I can understand that ritual isn't for everyone, but I guess I don't really see why ritual is only valid if it's part of a prescribed "sacrament." So if we're not Catholic or Jewish, or whatever, what we do doesn't matter or count because it's not required by tradition or by our religion?

These days we're strapped financially which is why having a student/intern of a UU church, for instance, would make sense.

Man I hope I am not friends with any of the rude commenters. It's disheartening to hear how close minded people can be.

If you've already done this before and have an answer that would make sense - then why post? Contact a UU church and ask them! Is that the kind of help you were looking for? What happened to the first officiant?

Your post is a joke, right? I don't give a rat's patootie about being p.c. That is not the ultimate arbiter of right or wrong, what I say or don't say. You are the problem with what is wrong witn a lot of America if you seriously think a lot of people will gasp and think, "Egad! She's right! I'm NOT P.C.!!"

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Seriously, if nothing else I am surprised that there are such few attempts at being PC, even on an anonymous website.

We had an "officiant" at my first child's naming ceremony, and it was incredibly meaningful. We participanted, and basically designed the program, but to us having someone help guide that program (more than an MC) was invaluable because it let us be participants ourselves.

I can understand that ritual isn't for everyone, but I guess I don't really see why ritual is only valid if it's part of a prescribed "sacrament." So if we're not Catholic or Jewish, or whatever, what we do doesn't matter or count because it's not required by tradition or by our religion?

These days we're strapped financially which is why having a student/intern of a UU church, for instance, would make sense.

Man I hope I am not friends with any of the rude commenters. It's disheartening to hear how close minded people can be.

If you've already done this before and have an answer that would make sense - then why post? Contact a UU church and ask them! Is that the kind of help you were looking for? What happened to the first officiant?

Anonymous wrote:Are you thinking of having like a naming ceremony?

Naming ceremonies, at least for Jews, are religious. Why doesn't OP just have a regular party and tell people the baby's name? People love a party.

OP, I'm Catholic and so a baptism is something very solemn and important to me, yet I'm trying to think of a way to help you.

Are you atheist or are you spiritual? If spiritual, maybe a UU minister or some other internet-ordained person could provide you with the ritual and welcoming of your child into the larger karmic, interconnect universe. If that's not what you're looking for, the idea of a complete stranger (a student!) saying in a grave voice "Welcome Baby Ava" in front of a crowd of people who know her seems to not carry any of the meaning that you seem to be looking for. What are you trying to get out of this event? You said that you'd write the ceremony/words, what would such a thing say and what would you gain from having a stranger say them instead of you?

I think the judgement is coming from the fact that you want someone inexpensive, possibly even just a student, that you've had maybe one phone conversation with before the day. That doesn't strike DCUMers as having any meaning whatsoever, and therefore your responses are put-downs rather than helpful.

I agree with all the posters who have posted that this is ridiculous. That you are coveting all the outward ritual signs of a religious ceremony without any of the inner meaning. Quite frankly, I find it very surprisingly refreshing that so many people are being so outspoken about this. You should really examine why you want to do something like this.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks for the judgement based on our religious beliefs. OP here. I put "baptism" in quotes because it's not what people would think of as a typical baptism. Yes, something more formal than a party to welcome her; something like a naming ceremony.

Yes, we are looking for secular officiants. Does anyone have any specific suggestions? I wouldn't mind someone who also does weddings, but I'm not really into paying a 'wedding price' (because meeting with this person over the phone or briefly in person once would be fine for me ).

I'm just curious if you approach all aspects of your life with such blatant superficiality?

When a baby is baptized in a church, or if there is a Jewish naming ceremony, there's usually a congregation of people there with whom a fellowship has been found. There's an ongoing relationship with the officiant (part of the baptism vows is to raise them in the church, etc), not a "drive-by" officiant. These ceremonies are much more than an embrace of a deity -- they are a promise of an ongoing commitment to a community.

So, if you're looking for a rent-a-rev and are planning a kegger, you'll forgive those of us who don't connect that with solemnity.