I remember thinking a while back (when I was a young adult) that I wouldn't know if I would cry if my father (or someone close to me died)..like I wasn't capable. THen my father died 5 days after my son was born. It was like someone up there was going to make sure that I was going to cry and cry hard. That's been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with.
I've learned though over the years, you can't overthink things or they may just come true. Be happy with what you have at the moment, especially when things are going smoothly...

I was just thinking that me (and my family) have lived a wonderful life, haven't yet be "kicked in the teeth". I wondered out loud to my friend, when will it happen, since it must eventually happen, right? I'm 41, so I've been really lucky thus far.

I think I will get kicked in the teeth at retirement. No way can I have enough money to live until 85. My house will never be paid off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I think some people never really have anything bad happen to them. I know a few of those. Whereas sometimes I feel like I've had to weather more than my share of bad stuff and wish for an easier life sometimes.

That said, I do have a couple of friends who had always been "untouchable" in that their lives were pretty perfect and everything had always come easily to them. One of those guys has now lost every cent of equity they put into their new place (outside of the DC area) and they can't move any of the places they'd consider without starting from $0, house-wise. And the other guy has been having marital problems lately. So sometimes the easy-breezy life doesn't continue forever. (I don't have schadenfreude - I feel bad for them.)

I guess this is all relative. I would not consider this being "kicked in the teeth", I would not even consider a job loss that horrendous...it would take something more worse than than for me to wallow in pain over. Though, as someone pointed out I suppose everyone has a different degree of tolerance for life.

I think I was lucky to have suffered through my first born child being critically ill for a number of years (for which he has THANKFULLY recovered) and after going through that, there pretty much nothing that keeps me up at night. i do know that I would not weather the loss of a child well at all. I think if I lost one, I would stay alive for the other. If I lost both of my kids, I'd just as soon lay in a ditch and die.

Agreed. It his person who has been "untouchable" feels that that is the worst, that his home has lost equity so that he is even, he's still never been kicked in the teeth. Even if he had lost so much equity that he was underwater on the property that wouldn't be kicked in the teeth. We went from 20% equity to 15% underwater because we bought at the height of the market and I still think we're fine. So we can't move. Big deal. We have a wonderful house. To give some perspective, kicked in the teeth would be losing income so that you could no longer afford the house that you were in, that the house was underwater and that your only recourse was to be foreclosed on with no where to go and possibly having your family out on the streets with no shelter. This friend of yours is still leading a charmed life, just not quite as shiny as it was most of his life, but still charmed.

Anonymous wrote:I'm mangling the quote by the grandma in the movie Parenthood, but it seems life is like a rollercoaster-it has it's ups and downs. Even people who seem to be on the merry-go-round all the time end up on the roller coaster. For lack of a better expression, people have different pain thresholds when it comes to rough patches. I think it all depends on how you deal with things. The past two years I felt like life was "kicking me in the teeth". Gradually in the past six months, things seem to be getting better. But I know I will encounter more rough patches down the road-that's life.

Thank you IMDB:

IMDB, Movie Quote, Parenthood (1989) wrote:
Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I think some people never really have anything bad happen to them. I know a few of those. Whereas sometimes I feel like I've had to weather more than my share of bad stuff and wish for an easier life sometimes.

That said, I do have a couple of friends who had always been "untouchable" in that their lives were pretty perfect and everything had always come easily to them. One of those guys has now lost every cent of equity they put into their new place (outside of the DC area) and they can't move any of the places they'd consider without starting from $0, house-wise. And the other guy has been having marital problems lately. So sometimes the easy-breezy life doesn't continue forever. (I don't have schadenfreude - I feel bad for them.)

I guess this is all relative. I would not consider this being "kicked in the teeth", I would not even consider a job loss that horrendous...it would take something more worse than than for me to wallow in pain over. Though, as someone pointed out I suppose everyone has a different degree of tolerance for life.

I think I was lucky to have suffered through my first born child being critically ill for a number of years (for which he has THANKFULLY recovered) and after going through that, there pretty much nothing that keeps me up at night. i do know that I would not weather the loss of a child well at all. I think if I lost one, I would stay alive for the other. If I lost both of my kids, I'd just as soon lay in a ditch and die.

I think so. But as another poster put it, there are degrees. I would never judge anyone's troubles as being more or less traumatic than anyone else's, but I have a friend who lost a child, and another who's biggest challenge to date seems to be the antics of her two dogs. She certainly feels like her troubles are real. That being said, you never know what is truly going on in someone's life. We have been kicked and kicked and kicked the past three years (serious illness, job loss, lost home, etc)., but we are still together and our children are healthy.

I don't believe in karma, plus, I don't want to keep score. I just try and focus on me and my own. And be there for those I love of course.

This post is timely for me. I've been very lucky in life - small things here and there have happened, but nothing huge. That said, it looks like my spouse has cancer. The type of cancer that takes a long time to treat and can never be truly cured. So, yes, I think everyone gets it sometime.

Nope, I think some people never really have anything bad happen to them. I know a few of those. Whereas sometimes I feel like I've had to weather more than my share of bad stuff and wish for an easier life sometimes.

That said, I do have a couple of friends who had always been "untouchable" in that their lives were pretty perfect and everything had always come easily to them. One of those guys has now lost every cent of equity they put into their new place (outside of the DC area) and they can't move any of the places they'd consider without starting from $0, house-wise. And the other guy has been having marital problems lately. So sometimes the easy-breezy life doesn't continue forever. (I don't have schadenfreude - I feel bad for them.)

Kicked in the teeth by whose accounting? My sister died young, my brother died young, and my father died when I was in my 30's. I've experienced infidelity and a painful breakup. I lost a best friend in spectacular fashion. I have watched my mother suffer a stroke, breast cancer, a broken hip, near deadly pneumonia, several surgeries, 40-some blood transfusions (one of them tainted by HIV), and the removal of most of her large intestines- all in the past 10 years. My beloved dog died this summer. But I lead a charmed life. My mother is alive and now (relatively) well. I have a wonderful, loving husband and beautiful, happy, healthy children. We don't have health, mental or emotional troubles or financial concerns. I don't feel like I've ever been kicked in the teeth. Life happens, good and bad, but when the bad happens I don't shake my fist at the sky and scream, "why me?!?!"

Life is a bitch and then you die
still tryin' to get a peace of the apple pie
every game ain't the same, cause the game still remains
don't it seem kinda strange, ain't a damn thing change
if you don't work then you don't eat

Anonymous wrote:I have a long time friend who has lead a charmed and pain free life and she's now 48. Even her beloved grandparents are still alive at 100 with little health problems. I've had my fair share of tragedy, and she has experienced so very little. Even her family is all so very close. Yes, there are some people who have avoided getting kicked in the teeth!!!

OTOH, I have an uncle that was DX will heart disease at 65. He lived a very active life and was a tennis player until the day he died. He refused to take any sort of medication, stating that he had lived a wonderful and full life and was OK with letting nature run its course (he was a very natural kind of person...never did take any sort of drugs and ate vegan). He said he lived a full life and was unafraid of what was ahead for him. He died at home in his bed peacefully in the night. I don't think there was anything life could have thrown at him that would have dragged him down.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it happenes to everyone. I think a lot of it is perception and our ability to deal with it. I'm just waiting for the period in my life when it's not kicking me in my teeth. It started when I was about 2 with a drunk father, divorce, extremely depressed mother, war for four years at 12, had to leave everyone behind if I was going to make anything out of myself, and it just keeps going on.

Intersting you say this. I had a pretty bad childhood, when I tell my story people are constantly "feeling bad for me". However, I simply don't look at it in a negative light. First, I can laugh at the absurdity and then I reflect and am always finding ways to live in the NOW and to enjoy what I do have-which is actually quite a lot. There is always someone who has it worse. I guess I don't look at it like I've been "kicked" but just that I've expernenced life and all the things that come with it, good and bad. I think this boils down to your disposition as well, as I've never sufferered anxiety or depression, so for me, I get upset over thing for about 24 hours and then shrug my shoulders and continue to plow ahead to what is next.

As long as I have my children and as long as I have a fighting chance to beat any illness that comes my way, then life it good. Everything else will truly work itself out.

Yes. Impossible to live a full life and get through unscathed.