I don't remember my mom judging other mothers for anything while I was growing up, at least not in front of me. I do think others judged her for keeping her maiden name and working.

Now my mom makes fun of attachment parenting and elimination communication.

My mom judged moms who were in the PTA, boosters, volunteered at the football games, etc. She thought they were too involved in their kids' lives. She felt the kids needed to get their own wings.

Judged (and still judges) those who don't make things from scratch. She judged people who used microwaves.

Moms who breastfed
Moms who WOH
Bra-burners
Non-bra-burners
Cleanliness of house
Spanking vs. Spoiling
Drinking during the day
Valium addict
Technique during neighborhood orgies
wait, what?

my mother judged interracial couples when we were younger.

Now, I am in an interracial marriage. And my mother couldn't be happier.

Different times I guess.

Children who didn't look perfect. You needed to be appropriately dressed, washed, ironed. You needed to have good manners as well.

My mom got pregnant with me 10 years after she was "done" having kids at the ripe of age of 37!!!! She was so judged that she remembers leaving the library and grocery store in tears at least 5 different times bc of peoples comments. Her best friend and next door neighbor basically convinced her I would come out retarded. When my mom visits DC we laugh constantly about this bc you truly can find a 37 yr old with a newborn everywhere you go here! This was 1978.

I was born in the early 70s, and my mom was a LLL hippie. She judged other mothers who let their kids have soda, candy, etc., and was super-militant about BF'ing. She was (and is) also extremely judgmental of people who were religious -- and we moved to the Bible belt! I was the only kid in school who did not attend church and who brought sandwiches made with "natural" peanut butter (ground at the health food store!) on whole grain bread.

My mom judged other mothers that were too young or too old (by her definition). If you had a baby under the age of 24, you were a whore. If you had a baby over the age of 30, you were selfish.

My mom judged other mothers who didn't volunteer in the schools or for activities like scouts/sports/etc.


My mom judged parents who planned to send their kids to community college instead of a 4 year school. We lived in a community where most people drove Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, etc. and most kids went to the local community college instead of a 4 year school because it was less expensive and they said their parents could not afford tuition anywhere else. My mom felt if you can afford a new Mercedes every 3 years, you could afford more than community college for your kid.

My mom judged parents who allowed their adult children to live with them. If you're 18 and out of high school, there is no reason to still be living with your parents, she felt.

I remember my (WOHM) mom always commenting snarkily about how messy my (SAHM) aunt's house was. (This aunt, who had 3 kids of her own, was the one who cared for my sister and me when we weren't in school.)

I also remember her really mocking a friend's mom's insistence on family dinners.

There were many other things, but these are things you remember when you are a SAHM with a messy house who insists on family dinners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know for a fact my mother judged other mothers who didn't care where their children were (as long as you're home before it's dark!) or who they were playing with. She also judged mothers who allowed their children to be weird (shaving the back of the head, wearing two different colored shoes, dying hair).

Yeah, my mother certainly judged other mothers for this too. OR, just in general, mothers who didn't seem to know much about their kids ("Oh, today's the day the Colonial Project is due?") or who were out of touch or flighty.

Same here - my mom used to say they were "raised on the street". She also judged other mothers for letting their daughters be use make up, nail polish, wear mini-skirts before age 17 or so.

Fat people, there were a lot less of them.

PP above, my mom also judged breastfeeders. "We are not cows!" is how she explains it... (and yes, I breastfed my 2).

My mom is the most judgemental person I know! Some of the worst offenses for her would be working, not dressing your child well, or being cheap with the PTA/room parent projects she was always organizing.

I was born in the late 70's, and my mom still thinks it's soo weird to breast feed. Ironically, the other thing she would judge others on was if they gave their kids too much candy, soda, and sugary cereal.

She got a fair amount of judging too. In high school, I was on a dance team. Some of the over-bearing moms thought my mom was neglectful because she didn't go to watch every competition, even the ones that were 3 hours away. Also, she wasn't in the parents club associated with the team. She gave me all the money, rides, or anything else I needed, but she just saw it as my activity, not hers. However, the other girls thought I had the best mom because she wasn't a helicopter and gave me a good amount of independence. Some of them wanted to quit the team, but their moms wouldn't let them because then they couldn't be in the dance team parents club.

Anonymous wrote:"Overall, I rarely remember her saying anything negative or snarky about the way other people parented. I don't know if that was because she was the one doing the unconventional parenting, or whether mommy snarking just wasn't as much of a cultural thing in the 1970s."

Women judging women has always been around.

But the question was about moms judging moms. Growing up I heard women judging women, but, personally, I didn't hear the kind of mommy judging that I hear now. From the comments of others, I guess my mom and her friends were the exception.