Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH works his ass of at the office, so the house is my job - having said that, DH is always the first to jump in to help me with everything no matter tired he is. However, I shush him away and tell him to go relax.

Is Stepford a walkable neighborhood?

Obviously doesn't have a gem like PP.

Anonymous wrote:DH works his ass of at the office, so the house is my job - having said that, DH is always the first to jump in to help me with everything no matter tired he is. However, I shush him away and tell him to go relax.

Your guy sound like a keeper.

Anonymous wrote:how does one pay the bills and not handle the investments and understand the bank flow. When you say pay bills do you mean just pay the utilities or are you including, mortgage, student loans, credit cards, car payments etc...

Agree. Either you have one bank account that you pay everything out of, or you must understand cash flow. Maybe she means that DH makes all the investment decisions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Cooking - 90/10 - DW
Pay bills - 95/5 - DH
Help w/ homework - 99/1 DW
House cleaning - 100/0 - DW
Yard maintenance - none
Laundry - 100/0 - DW
Grocery shopping - 90/10 - DW

I work part-time, but this was also the arrangement when I worked full time. Really unhappy about it, actually, but DH is very hostile to both the idea of his helping me more and to the idea of my hiring help. For that matter, it also pisses him off if I try to do any of these things when he's around, since it "ruins his weekend".

That is so sad. A relationship where one of the partners can say "this pisses me off" and the other is "really unhappy about that", doesn't seem very healthy.

Time for YOU to get pissed off.

Anonymous wrote:DH works his ass of at the office, so the house is my job - having said that, DH is always the first to jump in to help me with everything no matter tired he is. However, I shush him away and tell him to go relax.

Is Stepford a walkable neighborhood?

Both of us work, my commute is 8 minutes hers is 30, similar hours.

Cooking - 65 H/5 W/30 delivery (I include washing dishes and kitchen maintenance)
Pay bills - 100 H
Help w/ homework - 60 H/40 W (DD just started kindergarten)
House cleaning - 90 H/10 W
Yard maintenance - 20 H/80 outsourced, it would be 100 H if it wasn't (this includes snow shoveling)
Laundry - 90 W/10 H
Grocery shopping - 100 H

also:
Wakeup routine - 80 H/20 W (this includes daycare dropoffs)
Nighttime routine - 80 H/20 W (she does do baths, sometimes, and it includes daycare pickups)
Social calendar - 70 H/30 W

We both work outside of the home, I work 32 hours, DH FT. Two kids, a 20-month old and a 4 year old. No help, hired or otherwise. I get home a full hour before he does with the kids, so I tackle a lot of the day to day cooking, cleaning and laundry.

Cooking: W 100%
Childcare: 50/50 (I do the preparation in the morning and feeds the creatures, put DS to sleep, DH drops off/picks up from daycare, puts DD to sleep, gives bath to both kids, I dry hair, cut nails and put on pajamas). We both play with them a lot.
Laundry: W 90 percent, H 10 percent (H does emergency loads here and there)
Bills: H 100 percent
Yard work: 50/50 W weeds and trims, H mows lawn and weeds
Cleaning: W 80%, H 20%
Car stuff: H 100%
Grocery shopping: W 80%, H 20%
House repairs and updating: H 80%, W 20% (we just bought a house so this takes a lot of time right now)

how does one pay the bills and not handle the investments and understand the bank flow. When you say pay bills do you mean just pay the utilities or are you including, mortgage, student loans, credit cards, car payments etc...

DH works his ass of at the office, so the house is my job - having said that, DH is always the first to jump in to help me with everything no matter tired he is. However, I shush him away and tell him to go relax.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that so many DWs do the bills, DH does the bills and finances.

I think you are in the minority. I read once that in something like 70% of American households, the wives manage the bill paying.

I find this interesting, too. I've been doing the bills for DH since we were dating and he couldn't keep up when he was in law school. After we got married and joined our finances, it just made sense for me to continue.

Anonymous wrote:
Cooking - 90/10 - DW
Pay bills - 95/5 - DH
Help w/ homework - 99/1 DW
House cleaning - 100/0 - DW
Yard maintenance - none
Laundry - 100/0 - DW
Grocery shopping - 90/10 - DW

I work part-time, but this was also the arrangement when I worked full time. Really unhappy about it, actually, but DH is very hostile to both the idea of his helping me more and to the idea of my hiring help. For that matter, it also pisses him off if I try to do any of these things when he's around, since it "ruins his weekend".

That is so sad. A relationship where one of the partners can say "this pisses me off" and the other is "really unhappy about that", doesn't seem very healthy.

Cooking - 50/50
Pay bills - 90/10 - DH
Childcare (no homework yet) - 70/30 DW
House cleaning - 60/40 DW
Yard maintenance - 100 - DH
Laundry - 100 - DW
Grocery shopping - 80/20 - DW

Family of 6 (4 kids). We both WOH, FT.

Cooking - 99 me/1 DH (He can't cook. If I'm going to be home lately [which is rare], he'll attempt to make something simple like hot dogs, chicken nuggets, etc).
Pay bills - 100 - Me
Help w/ homework - 50/50
House cleaning - 90 me/10 DH-He's not that great at cleaning and I'm particular. So, while I bitch and moan about doing most of the housework, I only feel it's done right when I do it. I do ask him to tackle our bathrooms. If he does that, I'm generally happy with his contributions.
Yard maintenance - 50/50-We have a guy who cuts our lawn. Anything else (leaves, etc), we do together.
Laundry - 75 me/25 DH- I do most of the washing, but really hate folding and putting stuff away. DH mainly does that. He'll wash sometimes too (which is a nice surprise!).
Grocery shopping -75 me/25 DH-I do the major shopping. He runs out for stuff I need as I'm getting ready to cook.

Both WOH FT. I have "normal" hours, DH has wacky, working-all-weekend hours.

finances - 100 me/0 DH
cooking - 90 me/10 DH (due to grill. winter is 100/0)
groceries - 90/10
other errands like target - 10/90
cleaning - 80/20 (o let's be honest... 20/20 and the rest is undone)
trash/recycling - 10/90
laundry - 5/95 (thank god!)
dogs - 20/80 (vet visits, nails, buying food, etc)
outside - 50/50 (me garden, him trimming, mulching etc)
home improvement/maint - 50/50
social and event planning - 90/10
childcare - 40/40/20 (me/dh/daycare)

We find it's helpful to have a go-to person for each thing... someone to be in charge.

Seeing lots of workload sharing (with the exception of a few). There is lots of work to do around the house - no wonder parents are always busy/sleep-deprived. This gives me a boat-load more respect for single parents...