To 11:28-- I'm half Persian and it took me several years to perfect making a pot of rice with the delicious ta dig (golden crunchy awesome rice). If you want, I can type my method of preparing rice so you can give it a whirl without getting sneered at by your MIL!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also rice. I've come to realize there is no formula. Every rice is different, some requiring more water, some requiring less. Some needing a little stir, some turning to sticky goo if you so much as approach with a spoon.

To make matters worse, I married into a rice culture. And they don't steam or boil. Oh no. They soak, then boil, then line the pot with some other food and then steam, and then turn the whole thing out on a platter like a large crisp golden rice cake, filled with perfectly fluffy and separate grains with just exactly the right amount of butter. Show offs.

LOL

Sounds delicious! What cuisine is it?

Persian. And it IS delicious. I have to go crawling to my MIL to get my fix, and she looks at me with gentle condescension.

Anonymous wrote:Also rice. I've come to realize there is no formula. Every rice is different, some requiring more water, some requiring less. Some needing a little stir, some turning to sticky goo if you so much as approach with a spoon.

To make matters worse, I married into a rice culture. And they don't steam or boil. Oh no. They soak, then boil, then line the pot with some other food and then steam, and then turn the whole thing out on a platter like a large crisp golden rice cake, filled with perfectly fluffy and separate grains with just exactly the right amount of butter. Show offs.

LOL

Sounds delicious! What cuisine is it?

pizza crust. It never, ever, ever turns out crispy and brown and able to stand up to any kind of topping. I have tried every recipe known to man.
DH has now limited me to the following: premade flatbreads, premade foccacia, or homemade flour tortillas. ARgh!

scrambled eggs. They are always either over or under cooked. Drives me bonkers.

Also rice. I've come to realize there is no formula. Every rice is different, some requiring more water, some requiring less. Some needing a little stir, some turning to sticky goo if you so much as approach with a spoon.

To make matters worse, I married into a rice culture. And they don't steam or boil. Oh no. They soak, then boil, then line the pot with some other food and then steam, and then turn the whole thing out on a platter like a large crisp golden rice cake, filled with perfectly fluffy and separate grains with just exactly the right amount of butter. Show offs.

11:17 me too! I do it EXACTLY like my husband does and it tastes horrible and bitter.

Caramel. I NEVER get it right!

coffee. I have made a decent cup over the years but not consistently. I have no idea what my problem is ... my SO will do the same exact thing and it tastes fine.

Anonymous wrote:And Thomas Keller knows. Somewhere.

I do, but I don't mind.

Anonymous wrote:And Thomas Keller knows. Somewhere.

*SOBS*

And Thomas Keller knows. Somewhere.

Roast Chicken.

I am a very accomplished cook. I can do just about anything but fucking roast chicken. I've tried Thomas Keller's method 3 times and every time it's need to be in the oven for longer than the recipe lists. I panic after 20 to 30 minutes and take it out. Inevitably, there will be pink, waiting for me. Mocking me.

*You suck* it will whisper.
*You think you're so hot because you can make good biscuits, well you can't even get chicken right*.

DH will try to tell me that it's fine, but it's not. I know, he knows, and the chicken knows.

i can't do whole fish. it scares me. i also don't want to touch fins or eyeballs.

also, i bake a lot but i cannot get brownies right. i stick to the box for those.

The Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day technique is well worth learning. I have made some truly horrible bread in my time, like slice it verrrry thin and toast it and it's still a penance. I must knead like a draft horse. No such problems with this technique, and I have shared it with many non-bakers who did well with it.

Roast chicken is incredibly easy. A 400 degree oven and a probe thermometer with cable and alarm make all the difference.