No, I'd never trade in my engagement band for anything.

An eternity band is just a band with diamonds all the way around isn't it? My FIL is a jeweler and he says they sell a ton of those to "trendy" types. He also said that they are expensive and that the diamonds fall out all the time because of the way they get banged up. I would just repair your ring, and then ask for an eternity band as a gift.

Yeah, actually - I've never liked my wedding band - I got a plain gold one that matches DHs, but it looks funny with my engagement ring. I think at some point, I will probably swap it out for a ring that matches my engagement ring (that is eternity style). DH knows this, he's fine with it, he just wants to see if they can re-use the gold from my wedding band. Which would be great, considering how expensive gold is right now.

Part of the reason I said (earlier PP) that I wouldn't do it and would just buy a new stone is because (1) I've done it, and (2) my DH picked out my engagement ring by himself.

A new side stone for my ring was $1,500, far less than the cost of a 4-5 carat eternity band. Since my husband picked out the ring himself, there was never a question I would be getting it repaired.

If OP's husband simply said, "Let's pick out a ring. Here's your budget. Have at it," then that is an entirely different situation. If he picked it out or was actively involved in picking it out, I wouldn't even ask to change it.

I did help pick out the ring DH got me after I had our first child. It is really large, and I get compliments on it all the time. But, for the pull the heart strings ring, it will always be my engagement ring for me. I still remember how it looked on my finger so many years ago, and how proud I was of this beautiful ring he picked out. Someday I will pass that ring and the two matching diamond bands (wedding and anniversary) I have for it to one of my children. I think it would make a beautiful necklace someday, hopefully a long time from now. If we got engaged now, he could buy me something much bigger, but I would not love it more.

Yet another wonderful DCUM thread where all of the bitter people come out who can't afford what the OP can. Fabulous. Of course those posters wouldn't be making their foul comments if the OP said she wanted to downsize and have a smaller ring.

OP, ignore all of these obnoxious jealous people, think about it a little longer and then discuss what you want to do with your husband.

oops pp here. Meant to add that if you have sensitive fingers, you definitely can't keep the eternity band on all the time. It gets dirty easily because it turns on your fingers all the time and it traps soap and water and can irritate your skin and you definitely have to have it checked with your jeweler yearly at least. Also if I'm wearing it I can't close my fingers around it so they are touching and that would be annoying on a daily basis but on random nights out it's fine.

Do what feels right for both of you. Definitely ask him. I think some men may care, others may not. Same as some men caring if you change your name or not.

For what it's worth I wear a plain 2mm band most days and sometimes wear my (larger) e-ring with it. When I'm going to an event I wear my 5ct eternity band on the same finger with the wedding band in the middle and the e-ring as well.

It makes for a lot but I have to assume people aren't judging me for my ring, because that would be weird. I don't judge others based on their jewelry or lack of. If anyone is judging me based on appearance, they'll probably judge, stay away from me and make both our lives easier.

Anyone else getting the GIANT diamond ads on the left and right of this page as they read this thread?

Anonymous wrote:Oh pllllllease, get off your high horses people. I'm personally not on the market to "trade up" or do anything other than keep my rings, but wow- the judgement and nastiness! I, for one, don't think my husband would be pissed. We have an incredible marriage and we should our feelings to each other day in and day out. I don't think my husband would get bent out of shape if I wanted to discuss changing my ring - our marriage is so much more than a piece of symbolic jewelry.

If you have to wear it every day and you really aren't crazy about it - why not go to the jewelry store with you DH and pick out something you both love, together? Celebrate afterwards with a dinner. Don't see anything wrong with it! And - I personally love eternity rings. My wedding band is a thin eternity - really love the look of a larger one by itself.

And you think that those of us who wouldn't dream of asking our husbands to buy us new rings don't have marriages that are more than "a piece of symbolic jewelry?" Oh, pllllllease, get off YOUR high horse. You're just mad you got called out for asking in a public forum about such a shallow, non-issue of a decision.

Anonymous wrote:He could be just as shallow and gaudy as she is and actually want her to flash more bling so everyone knows how rich he is. In which case they're a perfect match.

+1

He could be just as shallow and gaudy as she is and actually want her to flash more bling so everyone knows how rich he is. In which case they're a perfect match.

Oh pllllllease, get off your high horses people. I'm personally not on the market to "trade up" or do anything other than keep my rings, but wow- the judgement and nastiness! I, for one, don't think my husband would be pissed. We have an incredible marriage and we should our feelings to each other day in and day out. I don't think my husband would get bent out of shape if I wanted to discuss changing my ring - our marriage is so much more than a piece of symbolic jewelry.

If you have to wear it every day and you really aren't crazy about it - why not go to the jewelry store with you DH and pick out something you both love, together? Celebrate afterwards with a dinner. Don't see anything wrong with it! And - I personally love eternity rings. My wedding band is a thin eternity - really love the look of a larger one by itself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I would never think of trading them in for an upgrade. I would feel like a shallow bitch if I even thought of asking him.

couldn't agree more. he'd be pissed and i wouldn't blame him. it's not about the size/appearance, it's about the meaning.

Yep.

Anonymous wrote:And I would never think of trading them in for an upgrade. I would feel like a shallow bitch if I even thought of asking him.

couldn't agree more. he'd be pissed and i wouldn't blame him. it's not about the size/appearance, it's about the meaning.

PP, if both are modest than how can both look gaudy? I am also not a big jewelry person, and my rings are modest, but both together don't look anything like some of the huge tacky ugly rings I see in this town. Guessing yours don't either. Call me crazy, both were given to me by my husband as a symbol of our love and commitment and by God, I am going to wear them both. And I would never think of trading them in for an upgrade. I would feel like a shallow bitch if I even thought of asking him.