I do not believe that on average white women bottle up their emotions. People express emotions differently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White privilege: whiteys are raised to believe that success and an improved lot in life are just around the corner. Because of white privilege and the encouragement to scapegoat people of color, white people learn to blame others for setbacks or hardships and credit themselves and their hard work for successes.

The flip side is the entitlement attitude: all the grouchy white people I meet in DC are grouchy because they don't believe they are getting "what they deserve" in terms of money, prestige, access, recognition, whatever.

Wow, you don't get it at all. Even if all white people were raised to think that success is just around the corner don't you think that by 40 most people would stop thinking that? Either they feel successful or they don't but I don't know any white people over the age of 25 who think the magic is just going to happen for them any day now.

And white people learn to blame others for their setbacks? Whom? You think white parents tell their kids that if they get a C it must have been the fault of some non-white kid in their class?

Not the PP, but-

I've actually heard quite a few people express they believe all nonwhites get into every college to which they apply with a full scholarship because of affirmative action.

And white privilege doesn't have an expiration date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people (mostly white women) appear to be the unhappiest group of people to me.

Perhaps pressure to fit into the White American beauty standard contributes to their seeming unhappiness.

Anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating are all more common among white women.
http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/article.aspx?Volume=160&page=1326&journalID=13

I wasn't talking specifically about looks (although many white women do seem obsessed with being pencil-thin). The white women I know seem overly preoccupied with what other people think of them. Also, they really seem to obsess over what's wrong in their lives. They never seem content with who they are and what they have and it appears to cause so much stress and unhappiness.

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that white people were generally happy. But I've learned they aren't....at least not the women. Many are incredibly self-conscious about their appearance/weight/etc and just seem really sad "inside". It is masked very well, but it usually comes off as fake and/or desperate. I'm convinced that white women bottle up too many emotions which is why they age so damn fast! Think of the white women who don't have a problem expressing their emotions (Italians, Jews)...they age great (for the most part)!

The accelerated aging is due to lower melanin, as the PP said. I think the rest of your post has merit. As seem in this thread, white people seem to have worse coping mechanisms for depression, higher rates of disordered eating, higher suicide rates than almost every other race, and worse self esteem. However, they mask it all with a phony smile.

Maybe they shouldn't bottle it up? Maybe being more true with their emotions would strengthen their interpersonal relationships and would better help them cope with tough times.

Anonymous wrote:White privilege: whiteys are raised to believe that success and an improved lot in life are just around the corner. Because of white privilege and the encouragement to scapegoat people of color, white people learn to blame others for setbacks or hardships and credit themselves and their hard work for successes.

The flip side is the entitlement attitude: all the grouchy white people I meet in DC are grouchy because they don't believe they are getting "what they deserve" in terms of money, prestige, access, recognition, whatever.

Wow, you don't get it at all. Even if all white people were raised to think that success is just around the corner don't you think that by 40 most people would stop thinking that? Either they feel successful or they don't but I don't know any white people over the age of 25 who think the magic is just going to happen for them any day now.

And white people learn to blame others for their setbacks? Whom? You think white parents tell their kids that if they get a C it must have been the fault of some non-white kid in their class?

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that white people were generally happy. But I've learned they aren't....at least not the women. Many are incredibly self-conscious about their appearance/weight/etc and just seem really sad "inside". It is masked very well, but it usually comes off as fake and/or desperate. I'm convinced that white women bottle up too many emotions which is why they age so damn fast! Think of the white women who don't have a problem expressing their emotions (Italians, Jews)...they age great (for the most part)!

Italians and Jews are generally darker-skinned with more melanin in their skin. LOL. Great "theory" though.

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that white people were generally happy. But I've learned they aren't....at least not the women. Many are incredibly self-conscious about their appearance/weight/etc and just seem really sad "inside". It is masked very well, but it usually comes off as fake and/or desperate. I'm convinced that white women bottle up too many emotions which is why they age so damn fast! Think of the white women who don't have a problem expressing their emotions (Italians, Jews)...they age great (for the most part)!

LOL. This has more to do with the lack of melanin in the skin, which leads to skin which shows things like age spots, liver spots, wrinkles, much more, and faster!

I used to think that white people were generally happy. But I've learned they aren't....at least not the women. Many are incredibly self-conscious about their appearance/weight/etc and just seem really sad "inside". It is masked very well, but it usually comes off as fake and/or desperate. I'm convinced that white women bottle up too many emotions which is why they age so damn fast! Think of the white women who don't have a problem expressing their emotions (Italians, Jews)...they age great (for the most part)!

I've seen two studies that found that non-whites cope with depression better because they have stronger interpersonal bonds that white people do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your child? And are you struggling financially? My children are older (school aged) and we, knock on wood, do not have financial worries. Much easier when your kids aren't exhausting you every day and you do not have to worry about making ends meet.

OP Here. DS is 10 months old. HHI is $120K. I make $70K and DH makes $50K. We are not struggling financially but we sure don't have money to blow either. I work very hard usually 12 hour days in order to bring home my paycheck and we live frugally below our means.

I am the 12:50 poster. We are similar financially and in children's age, attempts to live frugally below means, etc. But it doesn't take more time or energy to smile and be pleasant. Actually, it helps me feel better because, as studies have shown, if you go thru the physical motions of smiling and laughing and talking, it actually changes brain chemistry and you feel better too! Try to "fake it 'til you make it"!

You must not know any white lawyers. Hardy har har.

White privilege: whiteys are raised to believe that success and an improved lot in life are just around the corner. Because of white privilege and the encouragement to scapegoat people of color, white people learn to blame others for setbacks or hardships and credit themselves and their hard work for successes.

The flip side is the entitlement attitude: all the grouchy white people I meet in DC are grouchy because they don't believe they are getting "what they deserve" in terms of money, prestige, access, recognition, whatever.

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your child? And are you struggling financially? My children are older (school aged) and we, knock on wood, do not have financial worries. Much easier when your kids aren't exhausting you every day and you do not have to worry about making ends meet.

OP Here. DS is 10 months old. HHI is $120K. I make $70K and DH makes $50K. We are not struggling financially but we sure don't have money to blow either. I work very hard usually 12 hour days in order to bring home my paycheck and we live frugally below our means.

Anonymous wrote:I find that I am always so tense and wrapped up in day to day activities just to make end's meet and secure myself and my child's future.

I find that most of the White people that I meet however have this carefree happy go lucky personality/attitude about life.

How come you all are able to be so happy most of the time?

Is there anything that I can do in my own life to be happy like you?

We do have the same exact worries about being busy, making ends meet, and securing our children's future. We just don't believe it's nice to walk around like a grouchy sour puss. I smile and am pleasant and try to remmeber everyone is going thru their own private battles. I do wonder sometimes why other ethnic groups do not seem to have beeen taught to do this, as basic manners. Do they think we are not going thru the same thing? Bcause I know I personaly am, but I am still pleasant and appear happy to those who see me. People usually think I have a sunny, happy personality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people (mostly white women) appear to be the unhappiest group of people to me.

I don't know if they're the unhappiest, but a 2011 Allure magazine poll found that black women were more self-confident than white women. This was an American poll, by the way.

Studies seems to back you up.

"In both adolescence and young adulthood, blacks have higher self-esteem than whites. By age 30, whites trailed both Hispanics and blacks in terms of self-esteem, according to the report published online July 4 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology."

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/mind-soul/story/2011/07/Study-finds-self-esteem-levels-vary-by-age-race/49606266/1

That's why I find it strange that the media likes to focus on instances of low-self esteem among blacks (like the doll test) but not on the apparent problem of low-self esteem among whites. I'm not saying low self-esteem among blacks isn't an issue- the doll test shows that it is- but it's been consistently shown that whites have lower self-esteem than blacks and Hispanics- so why no media interest in the issue of low self-Estée, among whites?