Anonymous wrote:I do not see how this is inappropriate at all.

+1 but I believe in celebrating life, not mourning it.

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as someone who is in the middle of planning my father's funeral, please, feel free to have fun the day before.

I'm so sorry for your loss...

I advise going the day after- dont put the kids in a position to lie directly or by omission. Plus, you might appreciate life more fully and enjoy yourselves more after so much grief. This has the potential turning into an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Anonymous wrote:
Are you attending out of respect or because one of you is actually in mourning?

For the one---I'd take advantage of the tourist spot. If it's the other, I think not.

ITA

Totally ok, but do it after the funeral - you'll have more fun with the somber occassion behind you.

I think it's fine. Agree that to might not want to make a huge deal out of it though.

I would assume that the grieving family has more pressing issues than what you did on the day before the funeral. If you think they would care, then you are too self absorbed. Just go for it!

Well when I pass away I hope my family members will feel free to enjoy themselves. I don't want them to be miserable and only focus on grieving for me. Yes, I want to be remembered and I want them to miss me, but IMO they can celebrate my life by drinking an extra fruity umbrella alcohol drink in my honor or taking a nice vacation somewhere after the funeral or before the funeral for that matter. Seriously, I may put this in my instructions when I get old or even in the will if I can. Enjoy life in honor of me.

Actually when my grandma died we all went out to her favorite diner after the funeral and had a happy family reunion. I'm sure she was looking down and smiling because it was just the kind of thing she enjoyed.

Just say that was the best deal for flying, as you did in your post.

It is fine -- just be sure to wear black gloves and don't dance.

I think it's fine. I probably wouldn't put up pictures on facebook and tell everyone at the funeral about it. Otherwise, who cares?

Speaking as someone who is in the middle of planning my father's funeral, please, feel free to have fun the day before.

Anonymous wrote:I do not see how this is inappropriate at all.

This. All the grieving family is going to care about is that they see your faces at visiting/funeral/burial/etc. they will be touched to see you.

What you do before and after those rituals will NOT even cross their minds. They have much bigger things going on right now. If you've ever had to make funeral arrangements for someone, you know they are in a fog of shock/grief/need to plan. If anything, they'd likely be happy that you are happy and not burdened by the trip.