Anonymous
08/01/2012 17:10
Subject: Tell me about being poor
yes, I can tell.Anonymous wrote:My family has been lucky to always be well off, and this is one of those things I could never ever bring up with anyone I know, but am secretly fascinated by poor people and wonder about so many aspects of their lives.
grew up in another country, came here and we were dirt poor for a few years, min wage jobs living paycheck to paycheck. now I am well off and enjoy upper middle class lifestyle and live below our means.
Do you shop at WalMart? no, I shopped at thrift stores like good will and salvation army.
Do you eat fast food all the time? could not afford to pay for chain fast food, so bought cheapo frozen foods and brought lunch with me every day to my min wage job.
How big is your home? 1 bedr apartment 600sq.ft, 2 adults after family split, before it was 800sq ft 2 bedr 1 bath for 4 adults.
What do you DO on weekends? I only had one day off, worked on Sat at another job. Often I had to do homework as I was also in school. When I had truly free time I'd just go outside and enjoy outdoors.
Where do you go on vacations? no vacations
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? yes, very few, usually 2 pairs of shoes, I had boots and wore them on every occasion and weather
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? Walked and took PT, kissing outside on the park bench when I had a boyfriend. no money to go out for drinks or afford other frivolities and no cars.
Do you have any friends who are well off? not at that point, but a lot now as I am also well off.
What do you do for fun? i loved walking around with my walkman, taking buses to random locations in the city, traveling on the cheap. I also watched TV and read.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? Living hand to mouth and worrying about not making rent next month, not saving anything for the rainy day as it all goes to bills, feeling desperate and afraid to be homeless, hating your job and being treated like crap.
Do your kids know you're poor? my kid is growing up enjoying upper middle class lifestyle, he is a toddler and too young for life lessons.
What do they do after school?
Do they get teased in school?
I always watch movies about really poor people and this whole lifestyle just fascinates me.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 17:07
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:My family has been lucky to always be well off, and this is one of those things I could never ever bring up with anyone I know, but am secretly fascinated by poor people and wonder about so many aspects of their lives.
Do you shop at WalMart? No I had never been to a Walmart until I was an adult!
Do you eat fast food all the time? We never ate fast food. We grew a lot of food in the garden and my mom was the ultimate coupon queen long before that was a thing! Twice a year we went out for breakfast - they had a $1.49 special. Other than that we didn't eat out. As a special treat on long trips (usually once a summer) we got bought cookies and that was a huge treat.
How big is your home?
What do you DO on weekends? we played outside, rode our bikes, climbed trees, made up plays and stories. Once we were older we hung out at friends houses watching TV or playing games like capture the flag.
Where do you go on vacations? We went tent camping every summer.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? we wore pretty much all hand me downs from richer relatives!
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? same as on weekends.
Do you have any friends who are well off? No as a kid I didn't. As a teen I had a few friends who I thought were unbelievably wealthy (i saw one of my friends get a $20 from her father when I was about 15 and I thought they were insanely rich). Who gets $20 bills just handed to them?!!
What do you do for fun? We had tons of fun...I had a great childhood, very carefree and fun.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? Hard to say. we were poor but had a great life, we weren't going hungry and the power was on. we didn't really know or care we were poor. Some people with far more than us might have felt much poorer - all about perspective.
Do your kids know you're poor?
What do they do after school?
Do they get teased in school?
I always watch movies about really poor people and this whole lifestyle just fascinates me.
I grew up very poor but we were rural poor which I think is quite different than urban poor. Pretty much everyone around us was equally as poor so there wasn't really disparity between us and friends.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 16:58
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:During FDR's first term, he commissioned a study on poverty in Appalachia. In response to a question on hunger, am old. mountain woman. replied, "Hits a whole lot worse being soul hungry than stomach hungry" I realize that you, OP, cannot possibly comprehend her answer because it would necessitate you having a soul.
Yes. I posted just after your post and didn't even touch on how abusive and dysfunctional my family was. We never went to bed hungry and we always had shoes and clothes that fit us, in addition to toys and books (often second-hand, but still ours). The worst part of my childhood had nothing to do with how little money we had.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 16:54
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Poor as a kid, not poor now.
No Walmart, but shopped Goodwill, Salvation Army, and discount clothing stores (Target among them). Also loved the grunge 90s when thrifting became cool!
Couldn't afford fast food, ate basics at home (spaghetti, chili, baked fish, tuna casserole, etc.).
Vacations were road trips to visit family, maybe a day trip to a lake. Even when my parents made it into the middle class, vacations were still road trips where we all slept in one hotel room (2 parents, 2 kids).
Weekend activities were grocery shopping, laundromat, house cleaning, and playing outside with neighborhood kids. Movies in the theater were a major treat, hardly saw any before high school (the first one I saw was ET and my grandmother took me). Roller skating was a big treat, only went for someone's birthday party. In the summer we'd get to go to the public pool when I was older, but not every week.
Had very few clothes (still do, comparatively: it's hard to break the mindset of what you "really" need). Having more than one pair of jeans was a battle I started fighting for in junior high; my mother would tell me the clothing budget (usually $100 for a new school year in the 80s) and I would work with her for new clothes that maximized my outfit options. One pair of everyday shoes, one pair of dress shoes, and one pair of gym shoes for school. One dressy outfit in my current size (which usually needed to be purchased new for a family wedding). (PP who washed out her clothing, my mother also only had 2 dresses all through high school circa 1970, although I'm pretty sure she had a week of underwear).
I definitely knew we were poor and tried to never ask my parents for anything other kids were getting. I was teased about my clothing repeating more frequently than was cool.
No Walmart, but shopped Goodwill, Salvation Army, and discount clothing stores (Target among them). Also loved the grunge 90s when thrifting became cool!
Couldn't afford fast food, ate basics at home (spaghetti, chili, baked fish, tuna casserole, etc.).
Vacations were road trips to visit family, maybe a day trip to a lake. Even when my parents made it into the middle class, vacations were still road trips where we all slept in one hotel room (2 parents, 2 kids).
Weekend activities were grocery shopping, laundromat, house cleaning, and playing outside with neighborhood kids. Movies in the theater were a major treat, hardly saw any before high school (the first one I saw was ET and my grandmother took me). Roller skating was a big treat, only went for someone's birthday party. In the summer we'd get to go to the public pool when I was older, but not every week.
Had very few clothes (still do, comparatively: it's hard to break the mindset of what you "really" need). Having more than one pair of jeans was a battle I started fighting for in junior high; my mother would tell me the clothing budget (usually $100 for a new school year in the 80s) and I would work with her for new clothes that maximized my outfit options. One pair of everyday shoes, one pair of dress shoes, and one pair of gym shoes for school. One dressy outfit in my current size (which usually needed to be purchased new for a family wedding). (PP who washed out her clothing, my mother also only had 2 dresses all through high school circa 1970, although I'm pretty sure she had a week of underwear).
I definitely knew we were poor and tried to never ask my parents for anything other kids were getting. I was teased about my clothing repeating more frequently than was cool.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 16:49
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
During FDR's first term, he commissioned a study on poverty in Appalachia. In response to a question on hunger, am old. mountain woman. replied, "Hits a whole lot worse being soul hungry than stomach hungry" I realize that you, OP, cannot possibly comprehend her answer because it would necessitate you having a soul.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 16:18
Subject: Tell me about being poor
I am poor by DCUM standards.
Do you shop at WalMart?
Rarely. Usually Target.
Do you eat fast food all the time?
Never. I eat mostly vegan.
What do you DO on weekends?
Exercise. Clean house. Yardwork. TV. Bars. Errands.
Where do you go on vacations?
To visit family.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes?
I have plenty of clothes and shoes. No 100 dresses, though.
What do you do for fun?
Drinking, exercising, Netflix.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor?
I am not sure, it probably varies depending who you ask.
Do you shop at WalMart?
Rarely. Usually Target.
Do you eat fast food all the time?
Never. I eat mostly vegan.
What do you DO on weekends?
Exercise. Clean house. Yardwork. TV. Bars. Errands.
Where do you go on vacations?
To visit family.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes?
I have plenty of clothes and shoes. No 100 dresses, though.
What do you do for fun?
Drinking, exercising, Netflix.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor?
I am not sure, it probably varies depending who you ask.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 16:07
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge,
she studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College,
that's where I,
caught her eye.
She told me that her Dad was loaded,
I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola."
She said "Fine."
and in thirty seconds time she said,
"I want to live like common people,
I want to do whatever common people do,
I want to sleep with common people,
I want to sleep with common people,
like you."
Well what else could I do -
I said "I'll see what I can do."
I took her to a supermarket,
I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere,
so it started there.
I said pretend you've got no money,
she just laughed and said,
"Oh you're so funny."
I said "yeah?
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here.
Are you sure you want to live like common people,
you want to see whatever common people see,
you want to sleep with common people,
you want to sleep with common people,
like me."
But she didn't understand,
she just smiled and held my hand.
Rent a flat above a shop,
cut your hair and get a job.
Smoke some fags and play some pool,
pretend you never went to school.
But still you'll never get it right,
cos when you're laid in bed at night,
watching roaches climb the wall,
if you call your Dad he could stop it all.
You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do.
Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.
I want to live with common people,
I want to live with common people etc...
she studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College,
that's where I,
caught her eye.
She told me that her Dad was loaded,
I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola."
She said "Fine."
and in thirty seconds time she said,
"I want to live like common people,
I want to do whatever common people do,
I want to sleep with common people,
I want to sleep with common people,
like you."
Well what else could I do -
I said "I'll see what I can do."
I took her to a supermarket,
I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere,
so it started there.
I said pretend you've got no money,
she just laughed and said,
"Oh you're so funny."
I said "yeah?
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here.
Are you sure you want to live like common people,
you want to see whatever common people see,
you want to sleep with common people,
you want to sleep with common people,
like me."
But she didn't understand,
she just smiled and held my hand.
Rent a flat above a shop,
cut your hair and get a job.
Smoke some fags and play some pool,
pretend you never went to school.
But still you'll never get it right,
cos when you're laid in bed at night,
watching roaches climb the wall,
if you call your Dad he could stop it all.
You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do.
Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.
I want to live with common people,
I want to live with common people etc...
Anonymous
08/01/2012 16:04
Subject: Tell me about being poor
It is a very interesting thread. I grew up poor in another country (not dismal poor, but low income - cheap clothes, no money for hanging out, free lunches at school) and now we have a 95K HHI, rent a 1BR, have one car (bought used), and honestly I think of myself as poor again...
Anonymous
08/01/2012 16:04
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Common People by Pulp. Was this song written about you? Hey, everyone hates a tourist!!
Anonymous
08/01/2012 15:52
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:My family has been lucky to always be well off, and this is one of those things I could never ever bring up with anyone I know, but am secretly fascinated by poor people and wonder about so many aspects of their lives.
Do you shop at WalMart?
Do you eat fast food all the time?
How big is your home?
What do you DO on weekends?
Where do you go on vacations?
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes?
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends?
Do you have any friends who are well off?
What do you do for fun?
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor?
Do your kids know you're poor?
What do they do after school?
Do they get teased in school?
I always watch movies about really poor people and this whole lifestyle just fascinates me.
We were poor in that we received food stamps, discount on electricity bill, free lunch at school and made under the poverty line for a family of 8, but when we would go to community events, my parents would try to keep up appearances, so to speak. Sometimes I 'felt' poor because of certain situations and other times I felt like we had what we needed.
My parents are still financially not well off, but better than when we were growing up. Me and my siblings help them out with bills and such, and no, we do not feel obligated or resentful at all. They're my parents and really wonderful people.
Do you shop at WalMart? Yes as a child and yes now. Fyi - Where I live (not D.C - large major city), most people, regardless of income that I know shop at Wal-Mart and I will sound naive, but I didn't know until a few years ago that shopping at Wal-Mart was considered a 'poor' thing to do.
Do you eat fast food all the time? We didn't eat fast food much as kids because we couldn't afford it. I used to think places like Friday's, Chili's, etc were 'fancy' and expensive because I never went as a child.
How big is your home? We moved around a bit, all apartments, last one being about 600 square feet. When I was 10, we moved into a 2,000 square foot home and I thought it was so huge ha.
What do you DO on weekends? Mostly watch tv, play outside with siblings/friends, visit family, go to the dollar cinema.
Where do you go on vacations? We went on 2 trips when I was a kid, to visit family and for a wedding. Both out of state.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? Yes, I did have few clothes and a couple pairs of shoes at a time.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? Dollar cinema, stay at home and get snacks
Do you have any friends who are well off? As an adult, I am not poor as I was as a kid, but I make under $50k and most of the people I know make 6 figure incomes.
What do you do for fun? Not too much time for fun as I tend to work alot.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? I think it is not the same for every family.
Do your kids know you're poor? Too young.
What do they do after school? N/A
Do they get teased in school? N/A
Anonymous
08/01/2012 15:23
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
You responders make me very sad.
Why? I was happier then than I am now, and I have a lot more money now!
Anonymous
08/01/2012 15:13
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:My family has been lucky to always be well off, and this is one of those things I could never ever bring up with anyone I know, but am secretly fascinated by poor people and wonder about so many aspects of their lives.
I think I'm poor now - not super poor, but poor enough that we have to watch how we spend. So, I'll answer your questions:
Do you shop at WalMart?
Yes. And I'm surprised that people say things like "no, I have ethics" huh? I need supplies and I find them the cheapest there. I'm not goign to spend extra dollars for TP and shampoo just because some people think it's tacky (or not ethical???) to shop there.
Do you eat fast food all the time?
No. On occasion we do, but get the dollar items. we get bulk rice and we can get a whole chicken for $4. we have chicken and rice (or spagetti) about 4 times a week. We make the chicken different ways so we don't get tired of it.
How big is your home?
We bought a very small house in a nice neighborhood because it was important for us to try and give our kids the best education we could afford (public school) so we have a 1200 sf home. 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, and 1 livingroom/familyroom/diningroom and 1 eat-in kitchen. we have 2 kids. Luckily they are both girls (don't know how we would have given them separate rooms if we had one of each). Also, we opted for a SFH instead of condo because we wanted a yard - it gave us more options for staying home (see question on what we do on weekends)
What do you DO on weekends?
We belong to the neighborhood pool, so we do that.... a LOT. Go to the neighborhood parks.... a LOT - we change it up a bit and try different parks in different neighborhoods. Have playdates - have one of the kids go to a friend's house or have the friend come to ours. And, we just hang out outside in the yard - kids will ride their bikes on sidewalk, play catch in the yard.
Where do you go on vacations?
My inlaws live in Florida and my parents live in Mass. In the summer we drive and see my parents for a week. Sometimes, about every other year because we have to save up for it) we go down to in-laws in the winter. On off years, we'll either do a staycation and go into DC to the museums, etc or take a long weekend and go somewhere - bush gardens, etc.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes?
Funny you ask this. Yes. I'll list my summer wardrobe. 2 kacky (spelling?) pants, 1 pair white jeans, 1 pair tan jeans. (I don't wear shorts or skirts) About 6 short sleeve tops - various colors/styles but all semi-casual that can be used as summer tops, but also as shirts worn under suits in the winter. 1 pair each of white sandals, tan sandals, flip flops, sneakers, black pump, brown pump and beige/neutral pump, one pair of winter boots - not the fancy kind - the kind you can shovel snow in. I will wear them and change into one of the above pumps for work in winter. For winter, I have 2 pair of blue-jeans, 3 long-sleeve tops, 4 sweaters, about 6 suits some of which can be interchanged, 2 black work pants.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends?
We visit each other at each other's houses. BBQ, or we'll get a bottle or 2 of wine and pot-luck some apps and hang out at someone's house. we typically rotate houses.
Do you have any friends who are well off? No. Oh, wait. I think one of our friends is well off, but we don't do much with them.
What do you do for fun? See above - hang out outside, go to pool, BBQ with friends, I like to read.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? Well, for us, my husband lost his job and had to take one at a substantially reduced salary. He only gets part time hours at this point, but we are doing okay. I would guess that that's the reason for most.
Do your kids know you're poor? No, but they are young still. there are times they ask for something their friends have, and we of course have to say no, but we get a lot of good things from second-hand stores and on craigs list. we got them both bikes on CL and ALL their toys are used - even Christmas toys are purchased through CL, or thrift stores. PSA FOR YOU RICH FOLKS - Please consider selling your used toys, bikes, skateboards, Wii and Wii games, DVDs, games, etc on Craig's list at a low low cost. It's such a blessing to find these things for my kids so they don't totally feel like they miss out.
What do they do after school? My husband is home with them. We sign them up for one extra curricular at a time and try to find something on the cheap end that doesn't require purchasing equipment or anything (like there's no way we could afford tai kwon do or music lessons because that would also require getting an instrument)
Do they get teased in school? No, but they are young and it's not like it's obvious they are poor (again, we're not super poor, but we are living paycheck to paycheck and we have to watch how we spend our money). They wear decent enough clothes and like I mentioned, we get some good deals on CL and thrift stores.
I always watch movies about really poor people and this whole lifestyle just fascinates me.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:59
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You responders make me very sad.
It made me sad to remember. Being poor felt very shameful at times.
I agree. It did feel shameful. I am the pp who lived in shelters and in the car. I remember being in elementary school and because we had slept in the car the night before my mom would be the first in the drop off line at school. I was always ashamed to get out of the car bc we had all of the belongings we owned stacked up in there and it was clear thats where we lived. I didnt want anyone else to know because I was ashamed. I think this is the reason why I didnt have many friends growing up cause they couldnt "come over to my house" like normal friends do.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:54
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:You responders make me very sad.
It made me sad to remember. Being poor felt very shameful at times.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:53
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:You responders make me very sad.
Don't be sad. We are the people that we are today because of how we grew up. Of course I wouldnt turn down a windfall and still hope someday to be RICH. But I am not looking for your sympathy because I grew up poor. I am stronger person bc of it.