Anonymous wrote:I think that most people know at my children's school. First, you know if you volunteer on certain committees, like the annual giving fund. Not only that, but you know how much each family has donated in the past several years. It makes me a little queasy.

More than that, people pay a lot of attention to the children who go to aftercare. I've heard dozens of comments like, "I have so-and-so over for many playdates after school because I just feel so HORRIBLE that she's at the school for 12 hours a day. . . ."

I don't think the teachers treat the children differently, but there is a LOT of conspicuous consumption at my children's private school, and it's supposedly the down-to-earth school.

In all, it's tough. But it's also tough for us - people who sacrifice to send our kids there without FA. We simply don't have the wealth that most other families have. I notice it, and it's exhausting. My children are beginning to notice it too.

I don't know if it's worth it. Time will tell.

Anonymous wrote:What top private schools treat FA kids differently and it what way. I was considering applying to a few schools for K next year and would need aid and would try to avoid schools that ate known for this behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most people know at my children's school. First, you know if you volunteer on certain committees, like the annual giving fund. Not only that, but you know how much each family has donated in the past several years. It makes me a little queasy.

More than that, people pay a lot of attention to the children who go to aftercare. I've heard dozens of comments like, "I have so-and-so over for many playdates after school because I just feel so HORRIBLE that she's at the school for 12 hours a day. . . ."

I don't think the teachers treat the children differently, but there is a LOT of conspicuous consumption at my children's private school, and it's supposedly the down-to-earth school.

In all, it's tough. But it's also tough for us - people who sacrifice to send our kids there without FA. We simply don't have the wealth that most other families have. I notice it, and it's exhausting. My children are beginning to notice it too.

I don't know if it's worth it. Time will tell.

This. Your kid will notice the difference, starting somewhere in middle school, even if you're not on FA, but instead you're pinching the pennies to send your kid. Ours started to notice in about 6th grade, when we got the first question about why all the other kids had been to Europe or Latin America except us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the teachers do treat these kids differently in my opinion, but it's not in a negative way. It's more in an encouraging and tolerant way because they are trying to make it work and realize that some of these kids come from disadvantaged homes and are trying to fit in.

The note appearing above is our experience. Spouse and I were both FA in private schools. It was emphatically NOT worth it, and academically we learned that all but the very top layer of privates are well below a good public academically. The teachers all knew, and so did the parents, and most of the kids. Socially, it was devastating. In college, we were both FA, but it was much easier and contextually completely different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the teachers do treat these kids differently in my opinion, but it's not in a negative way. It's more in an encouraging and tolerant way because they are trying to make it work and realize that some of these kids come from disadvantaged homes and are trying to fit in.

Anonymous wrote:I think the teachers do treat these kids differently in my opinion, but it's not in a negative way. It's more in an encouraging and tolerant way because they are trying to make it work and realize that some of these kids come from disadvantaged homes and are trying to fit in.

Anonymous wrote:In high school: YES. (they don't seem to be able to keep up socially)
In college: NO. My child went to college in a full scholarship. No one knew, no one cared.

Anonymous wrote:I think that most people know at my children's school. First, you know if you volunteer on certain committees, like the annual giving fund. Not only that, but you know how much each family has donated in the past several years. It makes me a little queasy.

More than that, people pay a lot of attention to the children who go to aftercare. I've heard dozens of comments like, "I have so-and-so over for many playdates after school because I just feel so HORRIBLE that she's at the school for 12 hours a day. . . ."

I don't think the teachers treat the children differently, but there is a LOT of conspicuous consumption at my children's private school, and it's supposedly the down-to-earth school.

In all, it's tough. But it's also tough for us - people who sacrifice to send our kids there without FA. We simply don't have the wealth that most other families have. I notice it, and it's exhausting. My children are beginning to notice it too.

I don't know if it's worth it. Time will tell.

Anonymous wrote:FA Family here . . .

I do not think DC has been treated differently because of aid. DC has always had really good teachers some would probably say the cream of the crop in the building. I'm not sure this is attributed to FA status or the fact that DH and I are extremely involved when it comes to understanding DC progress.

I do think DC suffers when it comes to hanging out with friends during special get togethers like a day of golf, fantasy football, or even when parents plan to send children to camps. I think it's because they feel that we can not afford it or because we do not live in the same neighborhood. This really irritates me because I often times will see the disappointment on DCs face when the others are talking and sharing. Sometimes I just would they'd ask DC to participate rather than assuming we can not afford the activity. In many cases we have family that assist with tuition cost as well as extra-curriculars to ensure DC has the same opportunities as other families.

We accepted FA because we do not have been able to give DC this opportunity otherwise. DC is doing very well is super confident and has a wealth of schema because of his educational opportunity. DC is not aware that aid is provided to cover tuition. However, we are very forthcoming about the fact that his education is not free and that he should value it. The bar is set very high and we expect DC and the school to work with us to ensure success!!

One thing that is very annoying though is when you attend the Scholarship Auction and it is continously stated "We are here this evening to give a such and such education to a desiring child that would otherwise not be able to attend such and such school. Yes, that is why we are here but isn't the purpose of the auction to bring diversity to the school as well. I know many FA recipents who work hard to ensure the acution is a success . . . It's there way of giving back .