Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 18:57     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:Back to the discussion, what grades are your kids in? I did not have a problem until late middle school and in HS. When dating and hanging out at the beach started happening. I was often excluded. Elementary was not a problem.


If you're talking to "me," I'd prefer not to continue the side conversation but turn the discussion all the way back to OP who asked about the prospect of moving an African American child from DC-private to MCPS-Bethesda/Carderock Springs ES. But I personally appreciate your comment about your experience and will keep it in mind (along with those of PP & others) as I reflect on my own child's experience; thank you.
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 17:58     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Back to the discussion, what grades are your kids in? I did not have a problem until late middle school and in HS. When dating and hanging out at the beach started happening. I was often excluded. Elementary was not a problem.
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 17:19     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:Who is talking to who?


It's a bit confusing -- but here goes:

1. at 10:00, I directed a post to a PP
2. at 10:30, PP responded ("I am the person you quoted . . .")
3. at 11:02, I acknowledged and thanked PP for her reply (which was so thoughtful that it made me question whether my own child's experience of being an "only" is more like PP's -- afterall, my child (like PP) is the one who's actually living the experience not me).

Then, some other poster swooped-in and started ranting about the post being offensive, ignorant, an example of the evils of DCUM, etc.

4. at 12:04, I told THAT poster "I wasn't talking to you . . ."

Admittedly, I could have told her/him to butt-out in a nicer way (like omitting the jump-off-a-bridge snarkiness) but, then again, I was annoyed that she/he -- as self-described white teacher -- was inserting him/herself into a side conversation on a thread about the experience of being the only or one of very few African American students in a class/school; so I had a WTF-moment when he/she also started ranting about the experience of being a white teacher in a classroom with only one white student.
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 15:50     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
This is truly offensive to me.

What do you think of me - a white female - who is always the minority in the classroom? Should I hope that one day I'm not jumping off a bridge questioning why I spent many years at that diverse school?

It goes both ways. I have had classes with only one white child who obviously felt out of the loop. However, as an educated adult, I work on developing a safe atmosphere where learning is the main goal.

When I hear such ignorant statements I often question why more minorities don't go into teaching. While our staff is growing more and more diverse, white females are still the majority. But how many GOOD teachers who just happen to be white will want to try to fight such ignorant beliefs held by parents? It's hard enough to keep young teachers in the profession, as many leave w/in the first 5 years. But imagine how much harder it will be unless BOTH sides come to an agreement to stop perpetuating damaging stereotypes.

I am blown away by the ignorance on this board.



I am neither of the posters you are quoting, but I don’t understand how you can call people relating their personal experiences of race and education a show of ignorance. What stereotype were these posters perpetuating? I believe the two previous posters whose exchange you quoted are both black, and as a fellow black parent struggling with the issue of race and raising my children, I sincerely appreciated their honest exchange of experiences and found nothing ignorant or offensive about it. And it sounds like you are a teacher, so clearly, the jumping off the bridge comment was not aimed at you – the experience of a single minority student is obviously going to be much different than the experience of a teacher who happens to be a minority within the classroom. The fact that you can’t grasp that makes me worry about your minority students.


+1. This was my take too (I didn't see anything offensive or ignorant either).
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 14:27     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
This is truly offensive to me.

What do you think of me - a white female - who is always the minority in the classroom? Should I hope that one day I'm not jumping off a bridge questioning why I spent many years at that diverse school?

It goes both ways. I have had classes with only one white child who obviously felt out of the loop. However, as an educated adult, I work on developing a safe atmosphere where learning is the main goal.

When I hear such ignorant statements I often question why more minorities don't go into teaching. While our staff is growing more and more diverse, white females are still the majority. But how many GOOD teachers who just happen to be white will want to try to fight such ignorant beliefs held by parents? It's hard enough to keep young teachers in the profession, as many leave w/in the first 5 years. But imagine how much harder it will be unless BOTH sides come to an agreement to stop perpetuating damaging stereotypes.

I am blown away by the ignorance on this board.



I am neither of the posters you are quoting, but I don’t understand how you can call people relating their personal experiences of race and education a show of ignorance. What stereotype were these posters perpetuating? I believe the two previous posters whose exchange you quoted are both black, and as a fellow black parent struggling with the issue of race and raising my children, I sincerely appreciated their honest exchange of experiences and found nothing ignorant or offensive about it. And it sounds like you are a teacher, so clearly, the jumping off the bridge comment was not aimed at you – the experience of a single minority student is obviously going to be much different than the experience of a teacher who happens to be a minority within the classroom. The fact that you can’t grasp that makes me worry about your minority students.
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 13:23     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Who is talking to who?
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 12:04     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am the person you quoted. I guess it depends on how you define harmed. I was one of those "onlies" as a child, and I am sure my parents would have said I wasn't harmed. I did very well academically, and I am very successful now. But I really struggled socially and emotionally, and felt painfully different at times. And it impacted my racial identity. Having a black family did not make up for the isolation I felt during the school day. To this day, I struggle and have to make an effort to connect and form deep friendships with other black women. I still feel different, like there is some set of social rules that I did not learn growing up. And I know white adoptive parents who are raising their children in otherwise exclusively white environments. Those kids don't even have the benefit of seeing themselves reflected at home.

If being the only black child were the only way for my children to get a good education, then I would feel better about it. But in this area, it simply isn't necessary to put my children in that position.


Thanks for your response and sharing your experience which I believe is different than that experienced by my child (who thrived academically but also socially/emotionally and seems to have escaped the racial identity and isolation/exclusion challenges that you faced/are still trying to overcome) but which is probably more common. To be clear, I'm saying that my child's experience is probably the exception not yours (and so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that years for now my child isn't jumping off a bridge somewhere while screaming "why did you send me to that white school?").


This is truly offensive to me.

What do you think of me - a white female - who is always the minority in the classroom? Should I hope that one day I'm not jumping off a bridge questioning why I spent many years at that diverse school?

It goes both ways. I have had classes with only one white child who obviously felt out of the loop. However, as an educated adult, I work on developing a safe atmosphere where learning is the main goal.

When I hear such ignorant statements I often question why more minorities don't go into teaching. While our staff is growing more and more diverse, white females are still the majority. But how many GOOD teachers who just happen to be white will want to try to fight such ignorant beliefs held by parents? It's hard enough to keep young teachers in the profession, as many leave w/in the first 5 years. But imagine how much harder it will be unless BOTH sides come to an agreement to stop perpetuating damaging stereotypes.

I am blown away by the ignorance on this board.



I wasn't talking to you. I was solely speaking to one person: the poster who made a comment that I found curious (and who kindly and thoughtful responded). I frankly don't care about your experience. Again -- my posting was a conversation between A (a poster making a specific comment) and B (a poster asking for elaboration) -- so please take your rantings someplace else . . . or maybe, go jump off a bridge!
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 11:39     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:I am the person you quoted. I guess it depends on how you define harmed. I was one of those "onlies" as a child, and I am sure my parents would have said I wasn't harmed. I did very well academically, and I am very successful now. But I really struggled socially and emotionally, and felt painfully different at times. And it impacted my racial identity. Having a black family did not make up for the isolation I felt during the school day. To this day, I struggle and have to make an effort to connect and form deep friendships with other black women. I still feel different, like there is some set of social rules that I did not learn growing up. And I know white adoptive parents who are raising their children in otherwise exclusively white environments. Those kids don't even have the benefit of seeing themselves reflected at home.

If being the only black child were the only way for my children to get a good education, then I would feel better about it. But in this area, it simply isn't necessary to put my children in that position.


Thanks for your response and sharing your experience which I believe is different than that experienced by my child (who thrived academically but also socially/emotionally and seems to have escaped the racial identity and isolation/exclusion challenges that you faced/are still trying to overcome) but which is probably more common. To be clear, I'm saying that my child's experience is probably the exception not yours (and so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that years for now my child isn't jumping off a bridge somewhere while screaming "why did you send me to that white school?").


This is truly offensive to me.

What do you think of me - a white female - who is always the minority in the classroom? Should I hope that one day I'm not jumping off a bridge questioning why I spent many years at that diverse school?

It goes both ways. I have had classes with only one white child who obviously felt out of the loop. However, as an educated adult, I work on developing a safe atmosphere where learning is the main goal.

When I hear such ignorant statements I often question why more minorities don't go into teaching. While our staff is growing more and more diverse, white females are still the majority. But how many GOOD teachers who just happen to be white will want to try to fight such ignorant beliefs held by parents? It's hard enough to keep young teachers in the profession, as many leave w/in the first 5 years. But imagine how much harder it will be unless BOTH sides come to an agreement to stop perpetuating damaging stereotypes.

I am blown away by the ignorance on this board.

Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 11:02     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
I am the person you quoted. I guess it depends on how you define harmed. I was one of those "onlies" as a child, and I am sure my parents would have said I wasn't harmed. I did very well academically, and I am very successful now. But I really struggled socially and emotionally, and felt painfully different at times. And it impacted my racial identity. Having a black family did not make up for the isolation I felt during the school day. To this day, I struggle and have to make an effort to connect and form deep friendships with other black women. I still feel different, like there is some set of social rules that I did not learn growing up. And I know white adoptive parents who are raising their children in otherwise exclusively white environments. Those kids don't even have the benefit of seeing themselves reflected at home.

If being the only black child were the only way for my children to get a good education, then I would feel better about it. But in this area, it simply isn't necessary to put my children in that position.


Thanks for your response and sharing your experience which I believe is different than that experienced by my child (who thrived academically but also socially/emotionally and seems to have escaped the racial identity and isolation/exclusion challenges that you faced/are still trying to overcome) but which is probably more common. To be clear, I'm saying that my child's experience is probably the exception not yours (and so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that years for now my child isn't jumping off a bridge somewhere while screaming "why did you send me to that white school?").
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 10:30     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:]I am not the PP you are quoting, but I have never seen a white parent on DCUM asking about sending their child to a school where white kids are only 5-10% of the school population. I have seen posts from parents who are scared to send their kids to a school where whites are less than the majority, and I do question that. But there is a huge difference between a child being one of 30-40% and a child being the only one in the class. I don't recommend that experience for any young child - black, white, asian, whatever.



NP here. My own African American child attended an MCPS elementary with only 2 other black students. Because the school/MCPS/? seems to have a policy of "balancing" the classroom make-up and there were two classes per grade level, 1 of the the 3 black kids always ended up in a class by his/herself (including my child). I haven't seen any evidence that my child (or the other 2) were harmed by the experience of being the only one or a pair of blacks in the class. So I'm curious as to why you think this? It seems to me that the younger the child, the less relevant race/lack of diversity has been to their school experience -- at least that has been my experience (i.e., while these kids bring diversity to their school, they are not integrating it -- their experience is nothing that of Ruby Bridges, Little Rock 9, etc.).


I am the person you quoted. I guess it depends on how you define harmed. I was one of those "onlies" as a child, and I am sure my parents would have said I wasn't harmed. I did very well academically, and I am very successful now. But I really struggled socially and emotionally, and felt painfully different at times. And it impacted my racial identity. Having a black family did not make up for the isolation I felt during the school day. To this day, I struggle and have to make an effort to connect and form deep friendships with other black women. I still feel different, like there is some set of social rules that I did not learn growing up. And I know white adoptive parents who are raising their children in otherwise exclusively white environments. Those kids don't even have the benefit of seeing themselves reflected at home.

If being the only black child were the only way for my children to get a good education, then I would feel better about it. But in this area, it simply isn't necessary to put my children in that position.
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 10:00     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
]I am not the PP you are quoting, but I have never seen a white parent on DCUM asking about sending their child to a school where white kids are only 5-10% of the school population. I have seen posts from parents who are scared to send their kids to a school where whites are less than the majority, and I do question that. But there is a huge difference between a child being one of 30-40% and a child being the only one in the class. I don't recommend that experience for any young child - black, white, asian, whatever.



NP here. My own African American child attended an MCPS elementary with only 2 other black students. Because the school/MCPS/? seems to have a policy of "balancing" the classroom make-up and there were two classes per grade level, 1 of the the 3 black kids always ended up in a class by his/herself (including my child). I haven't seen any evidence that my child (or the other 2) were harmed by the experience of being the only one or a pair of blacks in the class. So I'm curious as to why you think this? It seems to me that the younger the child, the less relevant race/lack of diversity has been to their school experience -- at least that has been my experience (i.e., while these kids bring diversity to their school, they are not integrating it -- their experience is nothing that of Ruby Bridges, Little Rock 9, etc.).
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2012 07:18     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate when people say this. It is sometimes about income level, and sometimes about race. And sometimes it is about both. I think too many White folks (and I'm White) just cannot admit that race is still an issue in our society. I'm not saying it's everything, but pretending it doesn't matter and telling people to "suck it up" is just insensitive.

I think you're just upset with the phrase "suck it up." Instead of "Suck it up," why don't you just pretend she wrote "Be an adult and deal with the situation"? It's the same sentiment, just more succinct.


Because I think people of color have enough opportunities to "deal with" racism without having to choose schools where their kids will be without many peers like themselves and viewed as "the minority." Why does not wanting this make you less of an "adult"? Seems perfectly understandable to me.


What's your opinion of white parents wanting to keep their child from being a significant minority in their schools without many peers like themselves and dealing with the substantial racism that would be involved in that scenario. Dare I say, you'd probably cry racism, or tell them to "suck it up."

I am not the PP you are quoting, but I have never seen a white parent on DCUM asking about sending their child to a school where white kids are only 5-10% of the school population. I have seen posts from parents who are scared to send their kids to a school where whites are less than the majority, and I do question that. But there is a huge difference between a child being one of 30-40% and a child being the only one in the class. I don't recommend that experience for any young child - black, white, asian, whatever.

Anonymous
Post 08/02/2012 21:38     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate when people say this. It is sometimes about income level, and sometimes about race. And sometimes it is about both. I think too many White folks (and I'm White) just cannot admit that race is still an issue in our society. I'm not saying it's everything, but pretending it doesn't matter and telling people to "suck it up" is just insensitive.

I think you're just upset with the phrase "suck it up." Instead of "Suck it up," why don't you just pretend she wrote "Be an adult and deal with the situation"? It's the same sentiment, just more succinct.


Because I think people of color have enough opportunities to "deal with" racism without having to choose schools where their kids will be without many peers like themselves and viewed as "the minority." Why does not wanting this make you less of an "adult"? Seems perfectly understandable to me.


What's your opinion of white parents wanting to keep their child from being a significant minority in their schools without many peers like themselves and dealing with the substantial racism that would be involved in that scenario. Dare I say, you'd probably cry racism, or tell them to "suck it up."


Anonymous
Post 08/01/2012 11:19     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate when people say this. It is sometimes about income level, and sometimes about race. And sometimes it is about both. I think too many White folks (and I'm White) just cannot admit that race is still an issue in our society. I'm not saying it's everything, but pretending it doesn't matter and telling people to "suck it up" is just insensitive.

I think you're just upset with the phrase "suck it up." Instead of "Suck it up," why don't you just pretend she wrote "Be an adult and deal with the situation"? It's the same sentiment, just more succinct.


Because I think people of color have enough opportunities to "deal with" racism without having to choose schools where their kids will be without many peers like themselves and viewed as "the minority." Why does not wanting this make you less of an "adult"? Seems perfectly understandable to me.




What better way to level the playing field than to have role models in the classroom. Yet I can name the number of minority teachers we have in my school. If things are to change, people should encourage their children to enter education. But that's not happening, is it?

Anonymous
Post 08/01/2012 10:33     Subject: African Americans in Top Montgomery County Elementary Schools
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate when people say this. It is sometimes about income level, and sometimes about race. And sometimes it is about both. I think too many White folks (and I'm White) just cannot admit that race is still an issue in our society. I'm not saying it's everything, but pretending it doesn't matter and telling people to "suck it up" is just insensitive.

I think you're just upset with the phrase "suck it up." Instead of "Suck it up," why don't you just pretend she wrote "Be an adult and deal with the situation"? It's the same sentiment, just more succinct.


Because I think people of color have enough opportunities to "deal with" racism without having to choose schools where their kids will be without many peers like themselves and viewed as "the minority." Why does not wanting this make you less of an "adult"? Seems perfectly understandable to me.