Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 20:36     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am an introvert and a "sloth". People exhaust me. I have a few very good friends and some acquaintances and I honestly don't have the time or the energy for more. Just reading about the endless girls' weekends, sorority meetups, mommy get-togethers and vineyard tours people post about on FB are exhausting to me. Hanging out with my family with the occasional dinner out with a friend or two here and there are plenty for me. But I know I am probably in the minority here.


This sums it up for me. I like people, enjoy being with them (when I want to). Otherwise most of the time, I'm perfectly happy with my own company. I'm not a spur of the moment "go on a vineyard tour, girl weekend" kind of person. I need to know about it a couple weeks in advance so I can b*tch and moan about having to attend. Then I show up have a wonderful time and wonder why I dont socialize more.


Ha ha....this is totally me!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 20:25     Subject: Re:Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
OP here - Those with the social circle, please let us know what makes you tick. I smile at everyone, extend invites, but people frankly are not attracted toward me I think...
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 18:23     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm boot jealous, more curious about how well these people know each other, whether they're the kind of friends you call to help you move or whatever, whether f they're really friends or more of what I would consider acquaintances.


I have what one might consider a large social circle. We do things like go to the OBX each year and get two huge houses next to each other, grilling at each others homes on the weekends, participating in races together…usually the same 10-15 couples where a few rotate in and out. We all have young children, so it really is a way to still maintain a social life, while the kids all run around and play with each other…..kind of like an extended community of cousins.

With that said,there are about 3 other women that I’m very close with. These women, I would consider life long friends. We are completely comfortable with each other and we can open our hearts to each other.

I think most everyone, universally has just a handful of very intimate relationships that number well below 4 people. The difference is that my DH and I really do enjoy being “social” hence the large group that gathers. The rest of the people, we are friendly and relaxed with, but I would not call them all my intimate friends. Who can do that? I’d have no time left over for myself. Nurturing and maintaining very good friendships takes time and a lot of emotional effort.


This is exactly what I wish I had, and what I am trying to find. Being new to the area, it's very hard to make brand new friends and find a social circle. How did you find these people and how long did it take until you felt like you had a social circle?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 18:21     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Somewhat. I don't need a large circle of friends, but I would like another mom friend with a kid same-ish age as mine. My college friends aren't here. I've been in grad school while I've been out here so I have friends--good friends who I adore. But they are 4-6 years younger than me (since I was out of school for a while) and at totally different points in their lives--marriage-wise, kid-wise, and money-wise. DH has work friends but they are just old enough to be a bit too old with older kids. So, I'm jealous of people with a good mom friend.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 18:16     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:
I have what one might consider a large social circle. We do things like go to the OBX each year and get two huge houses next to each other, grilling at each others homes on the weekends, participating in races together…usually the same 10-15 couples where a few rotate in and out. We all have young children, so it really is a way to still maintain a social life, while the kids all run around and play with each other…..kind of like an extended community of cousins.




This describes my situation perfectly (except 8-10 couples and we stagger our beach weeks). My parents had NO friends growing up and we lived in the country. I was always longing for get-togethers and parties, but never even imagined how great it would be to vacation with friends. I really wanted to create what I feel would have made my childhood better. I found a great group of friends about 3-4 years back and make sure I give in what I want out of it. Yes it takes time, energy and emotional reserves, but it is so worth it. This past year I really needed to lean on my friends to help us through a family crisis. I am so grateful for what feels like a big extended family.


how did you find this group? How did you meet each other?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 17:37     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
I have what one might consider a large social circle. We do things like go to the OBX each year and get two huge houses next to each other, grilling at each others homes on the weekends, participating in races together…usually the same 10-15 couples where a few rotate in and out. We all have young children, so it really is a way to still maintain a social life, while the kids all run around and play with each other…..kind of like an extended community of cousins.




This describes my situation perfectly (except 8-10 couples and we stagger our beach weeks). My parents had NO friends growing up and we lived in the country. I was always longing for get-togethers and parties, but never even imagined how great it would be to vacation with friends. I really wanted to create what I feel would have made my childhood better. I found a great group of friends about 3-4 years back and make sure I give in what I want out of it. Yes it takes time, energy and emotional reserves, but it is so worth it. This past year I really needed to lean on my friends to help us through a family crisis. I am so grateful for what feels like a big extended family.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 17:23     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am an introvert and a "sloth". People exhaust me. I have a few very good friends and some acquaintances and I honestly don't have the time or the energy for more. Just reading about the endless girls' weekends, sorority meetups, mommy get-togethers and vineyard tours people post about on FB are exhausting to me. Hanging out with my family with the occasional dinner out with a friend or two here and there are plenty for me. But I know I am probably in the minority here.


This sums it up for me. I like people, enjoy being with them (when I want to). Otherwise most of the time, I'm perfectly happy with my own company. I'm not a spur of the moment "go on a vineyard tour, girl weekend" kind of person. I need to know about it a couple weeks in advance so I can b*tch and moan about having to attend. Then I show up have a wonderful time and wonder why I dont socialize more.


Haha, first "sloth" poster here - this is so exactly me! I actually secretly enjoy the complaining I get to do when I have an event coming up! WTH is wrong with me?!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 17:14     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am an introvert and a "sloth". People exhaust me. I have a few very good friends and some acquaintances and I honestly don't have the time or the energy for more. Just reading about the endless girls' weekends, sorority meetups, mommy get-togethers and vineyard tours people post about on FB are exhausting to me. Hanging out with my family with the occasional dinner out with a friend or two here and there are plenty for me. But I know I am probably in the minority here.


This sums it up for me. I like people, enjoy being with them (when I want to). Otherwise most of the time, I'm perfectly happy with my own company. I'm not a spur of the moment "go on a vineyard tour, girl weekend" kind of person. I need to know about it a couple weeks in advance so I can b*tch and moan about having to attend. Then I show up have a wonderful time and wonder why I dont socialize more.



I could have written each of these posts. Glad to know there are others like me out there!


This is me too! And at various times in my life, I have been more social, but these days, with a full-time job, a DH, a DD, and a house to maintain, these take all my energy and then some. There is not even a razor's edge sliver of time where I feel I am lonely or bored. I am usually panting and whining about not having enough time to myself! When I do view pics of people's comparatively livelier lives on FB, I wonder why I am so different from them and where they get the energy and enthusiasm for so much socializing, all the time. I think it comes down to those wiht introvert tendencies and their need for inner time (me) and those with extrovert tendencies, who need time with other people to get energized.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 17:01     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am an introvert and a "sloth". People exhaust me. I have a few very good friends and some acquaintances and I honestly don't have the time or the energy for more. Just reading about the endless girls' weekends, sorority meetups, mommy get-togethers and vineyard tours people post about on FB are exhausting to me. Hanging out with my family with the occasional dinner out with a friend or two here and there are plenty for me. But I know I am probably in the minority here.


This sums it up for me. I like people, enjoy being with them (when I want to). Otherwise most of the time, I'm perfectly happy with my own company. I'm not a spur of the moment "go on a vineyard tour, girl weekend" kind of person. I need to know about it a couple weeks in advance so I can b*tch and moan about having to attend. Then I show up have a wonderful time and wonder why I dont socialize more.



I could have written each of these posts. Glad to know there are others like me out there!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 16:38     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
meant *social introvert*
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 16:36     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
I'm an introvert in the sense that I'm perfectly fine with my own company, I've been able to entertain myself since I was a kid. Never get bored or lonely on my own. But I consider myself a social extrovert because I can make friends with anyone and can adapt to any kind of rambunctious situation. But I don't have many friends because I can't be bothered to make any or maintain them. The few that I have, I never reach out to but will respond if they call on me.

I have concluded that I suck and I'm self-absorbed but yes I do envy people with a large social circle.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 15:46     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am an introvert and a "sloth". People exhaust me. I have a few very good friends and some acquaintances and I honestly don't have the time or the energy for more. Just reading about the endless girls' weekends, sorority meetups, mommy get-togethers and vineyard tours people post about on FB are exhausting to me. Hanging out with my family with the occasional dinner out with a friend or two here and there are plenty for me. But I know I am probably in the minority here.


This sums it up for me. I like people, enjoy being with them (when I want to). Otherwise most of the time, I'm perfectly happy with my own company. I'm not a spur of the moment "go on a vineyard tour, girl weekend" kind of person. I need to know about it a couple weeks in advance so I can b*tch and moan about having to attend. Then I show up have a wonderful time and wonder why I dont socialize more.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 14:06     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm boot jealous, more curious about how well these people know each other, whether they're the kind of friends you call to help you move or whatever, whether f they're really friends or more of what I would consider acquaintances.


I have what one might consider a large social circle. We do things like go to the OBX each year and get two huge houses next to each other, grilling at each others homes on the weekends, participating in races together…usually the same 10-15 couples where a few rotate in and out. We all have young children, so it really is a way to still maintain a social life, while the kids all run around and play with each other…..kind of like an extended community of cousins.

With that said,there are about 3 other women that I’m very close with. These women, I would consider life long friends. We are completely comfortable with each other and we can open our hearts to each other.

I think most everyone, universally has just a handful of very intimate relationships that number well below 4 people. The difference is that my DH and I really do enjoy being “social” hence the large group that gathers. The rest of the people, we are friendly and relaxed with, but I would not call them all my intimate friends. Who can do that? I’d have no time left over for myself. Nurturing and maintaining very good friendships takes time and a lot of emotional effort.


how did you meet this group? We have a pretty large circle of friends but no one large group. How did this all come together?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 11:28     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
Anonymous wrote:I'm boot jealous, more curious about how well these people know each other, whether they're the kind of friends you call to help you move or whatever, whether f they're really friends or more of what I would consider acquaintances.


I have what one might consider a large social circle. We do things like go to the OBX each year and get two huge houses next to each other, grilling at each others homes on the weekends, participating in races together…usually the same 10-15 couples where a few rotate in and out. We all have young children, so it really is a way to still maintain a social life, while the kids all run around and play with each other…..kind of like an extended community of cousins.

With that said,there are about 3 other women that I’m very close with. These women, I would consider life long friends. We are completely comfortable with each other and we can open our hearts to each other.

I think most everyone, universally has just a handful of very intimate relationships that number well below 4 people. The difference is that my DH and I really do enjoy being “social” hence the large group that gathers. The rest of the people, we are friendly and relaxed with, but I would not call them all my intimate friends. Who can do that? I’d have no time left over for myself. Nurturing and maintaining very good friendships takes time and a lot of emotional effort.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 10:47     Subject: Are you envious of people with a large social circle?
I have a very large social circle. On the plus side, there is always something to do on weekends, and my facebook page is pretty entertaining, and I have a lot of interesting conversations when I go out. On the downside, a lot of those friendships are shallower ones, there can be drama sometimes (tiresome at age 40) and it can make it hard to plan events without them getting way too big. I tend to not have parties in my home because the guest list would be gigantic or I'd have to cut people off arbitrarily.

I used to have a smaller circle and closer girlfriends, but we kind of drifted apart after some folks got married and moved away and I had a kid.