Anonymous wrote:Figure out why you are so obsessed with experiencing pain in childbirth. Who are you listening to that is convincing you that is necessary or preferred? Why do you believe them when medical science has advanced since women had to endure pain and drop babies in the field then keep plowing? Who has convinced you that it is better for the baby to feel pain?

Anonymous wrote:OP, before all else, book a class with Amy Bookwalter, from Rosebud Doula: http://rosebuddoula.net/. She is a gifted, experienced, highly trained doula and mother of nine, and she crams so much helpful information into her class, it's unbelievable. I went to her class for experienced parents, for my sixth baby, and learned so much from her. I thought that could not be possible, as I had read every single book out there, but it is true!

Next, hire your own doula. Amy has been my doula the last four times, but she can recommend others if she is booked.

Third, choose a caregiver who is enthusiastic about unmedicated birth.

Then read every good book out there. There are so many, from anything Ina May, to the more mainstream Sears guide and the Lamaze Guide to Childbirth, to all of the positive birth story collections (I appreciate Journey into Motherhood, because each of the dozens of stories ends with the specific things that helped the mother the most), and Hypnobabies and Birthing from Within for the more out there stuff, which i still love, and even Orgasmic Birth and Gentle Birth.

Stay strong and healthy. Swim a lot. Rest as much as you can. Have a great intimate life with your husband, right up to the end. Have many conversations about what you need from him.

For your calcium supplement, take calcium LACTATE. And load up on it at the very end. It is associated with painless labors. I've experienced them myself, so I am a believer!

I LOVE giving birth. I think heaven feels like giving birth. Women were created for this. It is part of our sexual health to have the privilege of doing it. It is part of my love life. Pictures of me in labor could be mistaken for erotic photos--that's how good I felt.

Love your pregnant body, love your husband, love the baby who is the result of your love for each other, and love every sensation as it comes and goes. Enjoy!

Anonymous wrote:People,stop it with your horror stories. Just. Stop. I had a sunny side up delivery with a TON of back labor. Know what back labor tells you? To change your position, and to apply counter pressure. Yes, back labor does hurt, but you'll be okay. I This was another reason I was glad to be a little bit older when I had my baby. I think some younger women just haven't had much pain in their lives. Yes, it "hurts," but it truly is pain with a purpose. And usually your body feeling pain that you can't manage is one of two things: transition or the need to move around and otherwise make an adjustment. I had two happy hospital births but I will say the hospital environment takes you out of your ability to completely get comfortable - the need to be monitored, presence of other people and disruptions, and even the fact that they'll ask you not to eat (and sometimes not to drink!). All of this interferes with your body's ability to manage the situation and can get into your head. I never took any classes because I don't really like classes. I know that probably seems crazy, but I didn't, and I had a good birth. So my advice:

step one: find a care provider who will be committed to doing what he / she can to help you with your natural birth. they do exist, google these threads for names.
step two: read everything you can get your hands on. Ina May Gaskin's books are required reading - a bit hippied out but filled with information. I also LOVED Penny Simkin's the birth partner. It's for partners, but it really, really was one of the better prep books out there. I also read the birth book by Dr Sears (it was decent, not my fave, but informative) and Husband Coached Childbirth which was odd and patronizing but had some good info on stages (just ignore his weird bits about the position you're supposed to get into because I would have lost my mind in that position).
step three: see if a Bradley coach will let you take a brush up course instead of the long course (again I didn't take any courses but you may prefer to)
step four: consider a doula (I actually did not use one, but most friends who did use one say it was a good move).
step five, and this one is the most important: embrace your contractions and believe in your body. Don't fear birth. There is pain, but it does NOT have to be the nightmare that some folks say it is. Yes, labor involves enormous sensations, some of them are nearly overwhelming but you CAN do it. It is NOTHING like smashing your hand with a hammer. It makes me so angry to say that. smashing a hand with a hammer is pointless and damaging. Giving birth is beautiful.

It was literally the most amazing experience of my life.