Anonymous wrote:I was surprised to hear the kinds of responses elicited by this thread. When I read the title, I expected to hear stories about how sophisticated or intellectual people were despite their lack of advanced degrees, etc.

So here's my anecdote.

I was still living in the midwest, about to leave for Boston to start a doctoral program. One day I bought a tall bookcase and was trying to get it up the steps of my apartment building and into my apartment. It wasn't heavy but unwieldy. The building custodian saw me struggling, grabbed the other side of the bookcase, and helped me get it inside. On the way out, the guy noticed a picture I had my wall and asked, "Is that a Jacob Lawrence print?"

Shame on me for being surprised that a middle aged white guy with a beer belly and jeans riding low from the weight of his tool belt would recognize the work of an African American artist that most well educated people have never heard of.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Manners! In almost every job I've had, my day has been made so much nicer by the friendly greeting of the concierge, doorman, secretary, or janitor. There's nothing like a sweet cashier at the grocery store either. I learned that being friendly and polite is so important to keeping everyone's day running well.

How do you know that any of the people are less traveled, less educated, or less sophisticated than you?

This whole thread is pretty patronizing. Oh, we can learn so much from the hoi polloi. We're so corrupted from our "fancy book larnin' ." They're so much happier and simpler than us.

Gimme a break.

I am the PP. The fact is that many, many people on DCUM do have an attitude that only middle & upper-class markers of achievement matter -- "HHI", neighborhoods, schools, jobs ... It's a good thing to be reminded that money & schooling are not all that matters in life. You're the one being patronizing to pretend that all the janitors in DC are actually secretly physics PhDs or something, when the fact is, they are (usually) not. It's not about having some naive view that "poverty gives good values," but rather realizing that there is inherent dignity and worth in all people. (And even if people are expressing a naive view here that the poor are somehow more noble, that's a worthwhile corrective to the crazy status-consciousness of DC anyway.)

Anyway, for what it's worth, I was totally serious about learning manners from the doorman. Knowing the right way to comport yourself in a crowded city & office environment is a really important piece of life knowledge to have. Taking a minute out of your day to stop thinking about yourself and to engage in the social ritual that keeps the wheels of society greased is crucial. It's something I never would have learned anywhere else. It's called "civility."

Sorry to burst your bubble, but if the doorman were rude, he'd be out of a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same people criticizing this thread are probably the ones who would look down on anyone 'less' than them.

Actually, the people who are criticizing this thread don't think about people in those terms.

Because they don't know anyone that fits the OPs description.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same people criticizing this thread are probably the ones who would look down on anyone 'less' than them.

Actually, the people who are criticizing this thread don't think about people in those terms.

Anonymous wrote:The same people criticizing this thread are probably the ones who would look down on anyone 'less' than them.

Anonymous wrote:I hate the attitude that educated, sophisticated, well-traveled people are the only ones worth being around.

That's a quote from a poster on another thread about moving away from DC and how to adjust to living amongst people who aren't all that we Washingtonians like to believe we are. It struck a chord with me.

I remember falling in love with a computer programmer (hardly uneducated, but not up to my so-called friends' standards) in my 20s and someone asking me, "but what do you TALK about?" He tought me about unconditional love and letting my hair down to just have fun. I remember my southern grandmother who was rich but lived an unmaterialistic, simple life with valued friends and a close circle of friends. She never went to college, but she taught me the value of humility and doing for every needful person that was put in my path. I think of my adopted sister with developmental delays, and how much more affectionate she is than any person I know in DC.

What about you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Manners! In almost every job I've had, my day has been made so much nicer by the friendly greeting of the concierge, doorman, secretary, or janitor. There's nothing like a sweet cashier at the grocery store either. I learned that being friendly and polite is so important to keeping everyone's day running well.

How do you know that any of the people are less traveled, less educated, or less sophisticated than you?

This whole thread is pretty patronizing. Oh, we can learn so much from the hoi polloi. We're so corrupted from our "fancy book larnin' ." They're so much happier and simpler than us.

Gimme a break.

I am the PP. The fact is that many, many people on DCUM do have an attitude that only middle & upper-class markers of achievement matter -- "HHI", neighborhoods, schools, jobs ... It's a good thing to be reminded that money & schooling are not all that matters in life. You're the one being patronizing to pretend that all the janitors in DC are actually secretly physics PhDs or something, when the fact is, they are (usually) not. It's not about having some naive view that "poverty gives good values," but rather realizing that there is inherent dignity and worth in all people. (And even if people are expressing a naive view here that the poor are somehow more noble, that's a worthwhile corrective to the crazy status-consciousness of DC anyway.)

Anyway, for what it's worth, I was totally serious about learning manners from the doorman. Knowing the right way to comport yourself in a crowded city & office environment is a really important piece of life knowledge to have. Taking a minute out of your day to stop thinking about yourself and to engage in the social ritual that keeps the wheels of society greased is crucial. It's something I never would have learned anywhere else. It's called "civility."

Sorry to burst your bubble, but if the doorman were rude, he'd be out of a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Manners! In almost every job I've had, my day has been made so much nicer by the friendly greeting of the concierge, doorman, secretary, or janitor. There's nothing like a sweet cashier at the grocery store either. I learned that being friendly and polite is so important to keeping everyone's day running well.

How do you know that any of the people are less traveled, less educated, or less sophisticated than you?

This whole thread is pretty patronizing. Oh, we can learn so much from the hoi polloi. We're so corrupted from our "fancy book larnin' ." They're so much happier and simpler than us.

Gimme a break.

I am the PP. The fact is that many, many people on DCUM do have an attitude that only middle & upper-class markers of achievement matter -- "HHI", neighborhoods, schools, jobs ... It's a good thing to be reminded that money & schooling are not all that matters in life. You're the one being patronizing to pretend that all the janitors in DC are actually secretly physics PhDs or something, when the fact is, they are (usually) not. It's not about having some naive view that "poverty gives good values," but rather realizing that there is inherent dignity and worth in all people. (And even if people are expressing a naive view here that the poor are somehow more noble, that's a worthwhile corrective to the crazy status-consciousness of DC anyway.)

Anyway, for what it's worth, I was totally serious about learning manners from the doorman. Knowing the right way to comport yourself in a crowded city & office environment is a really important piece of life knowledge to have. Taking a minute out of your day to stop thinking about yourself and to engage in the social ritual that keeps the wheels of society greased is crucial. It's something I never would have learned anywhere else. It's called "civility."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Manners! In almost every job I've had, my day has been made so much nicer by the friendly greeting of the concierge, doorman, secretary, or janitor. There's nothing like a sweet cashier at the grocery store either. I learned that being friendly and polite is so important to keeping everyone's day running well.

I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say you've never worked in a law firm in DC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Manners! In almost every job I've had, my day has been made so much nicer by the friendly greeting of the concierge, doorman, secretary, or janitor. There's nothing like a sweet cashier at the grocery store either. I learned that being friendly and polite is so important to keeping everyone's day running well.

How do you know that any of the people are less traveled, less educated, or less sophisticated than you?

This whole thread is pretty patronizing. Oh, we can learn so much from the hoi polloi. We're so corrupted from our "fancy book larnin' ." They're so much happier and simpler than us.

Gimme a break.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm educated and travel a lot. I consider myself financially better off than a lot of people, but I never thought of myself as more "worthy of being around". That may be because I'm originally from New Jersey.