I agree with OP that cohabitation is a really bad idea. I'm 47 and never lived with a guy, even my fiance, before marriage.

Why commit to someone for life without test driving them first? Male or Female? People sleep together, cook for each other, etc. without ever living together.

I lived with a boyfriend who turned out to be a closet alcoholic and missed the toilet every night when he got up to pee after he passed out from his 6 beers. I spent 9 months swabbing urine off the walls and picking up his beer bottles until I escaped. I thank my lucky stars that it was just a cohabiting situation. He later married and was divorced in less than a year for the same behavior.

Alternatively, I moved in with my husband after only 4 months of dating. Two kids and seven years of marriage later, we are still happy and compatible.

why buy the milk when you can bang the cow for free

Anonymous wrote:Why by the cow when you get the cream. The cows who co-habit get creamed.

Nowadays it's the women who have to think twice about buying the cow. Women are getting more degrees, getting and keeping more of the jobs, overall are performing much better than men and reaping the rewards. It's the men who are going to have to try to get a smart American lady to settle down with them. That's why they are mail ordering brides from Russia and Thailand.

Why did you have another child with him?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
birth control failure.

Anonymous wrote:For example, I think that it might be a mistake to move in with boyfriend straight out of college b/c you never get a sense of independence.... But to each their own!

I felt this way too- I am married to my ' college sweatheart' from my senior year, but we intentionally did not move in together until we were about 26, we had roommates and our own studios and that sort of thing for the 4-5 years in between because I thought it was important- so while we weren't playing the field at all, and were probably sleeping over at one another's for 4-5 nights every week I think it was a good move (for us) because we knew that we wanted to be married but not for some time (almost 30 when we did) and wanted that sort of "real world" on our own feeling for being in our early 20s. By the time we got married, to be honest, not all that much felt "different" from just living together so I am glad I didn't feel married straight out of college, I needed the touch of space at the time.

Anonymous wrote:I lived together with DH for three years before getting married. It's seven years later and we have two kids..... I will caveat with this -- I don't see the point of having a live-in boyfriend if you are too young -- I think that early 20s should be sent playing the fields as women rather than cereal monogamy to get used to living on your own for a while.... For example, I think that it might be a mistake to move in with boyfriend straight out of college b/c you never get a sense of independence.... But to each their own!

I got married right out of college. Was 22. I have a friend that lived with her DH right out of college for 10 years before they got married. We both had kids about 28-30.

I think we both made mistakes because we never really experienced living on our own for a while and playing the field. We both regret it and now we are in our 40's we are considering having an affair or divorcing our spouses. We just want to experience being with other people and making decisions independently. I think marrying or living together was less important than the fact of how young we were when we began living with our significant others.

Why by the cow when you get the cream. The cows who co-habit get creamed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lived together with DH for three years before getting married. It's seven years later and we have two kids..... I will caveat with this -- I don't see the point of having a live-in boyfriend if you are too young -- I think that early 20s should be sent playing the fields as women rather than cereal monogamy to get used to living on your own for a while.... For example, I think that it might be a mistake to move in with boyfriend straight out of college b/c you never get a sense of independence.... But to each their own!

ITA. You've got to play the aisle. Wheaties, Cheerios, All-Bran, Kashi, Shredded Wheat, Total, Chex, Rice Krispies, Life -- there are so many tasty options from which to choose.

Whats that make the generic Giant brand?

Anonymous wrote:I've never responded with this before but this is just dying for it. Mind your own damn business OP. Nobody cares what you think of their living arrangements.

This. You also tend to forget the area in which we live. More often than not, it is MUCH more cost effective to live with a boyfriend/girlfriend before getting married simply because it is expensive to maintain two separate domiciles while courting one another.

Think it all the way through.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lived together with DH for three years before getting married. It's seven years later and we have two kids..... I will caveat with this -- I don't see the point of having a live-in boyfriend if you are too young -- I think that early 20s should be sent playing the fields as women rather than cereal monogamy to get used to living on your own for a while.... For example, I think that it might be a mistake to move in with boyfriend straight out of college b/c you never get a sense of independence.... But to each their own!

ITA. You've got to play the aisle. Wheaties, Cheerios, All-Bran, Kashi, Shredded Wheat, Total, Chex, Rice Krispies, Life -- there are so many tasty options from which to choose.

I totally disagree. I think you should stick with your first love: Special K.

Anonymous wrote:I lived together with DH for three years before getting married. It's seven years later and we have two kids..... I will caveat with this -- I don't see the point of having a live-in boyfriend if you are too young -- I think that early 20s should be sent playing the fields as women rather than cereal monogamy to get used to living on your own for a while.... For example, I think that it might be a mistake to move in with boyfriend straight out of college b/c you never get a sense of independence.... But to each their own!

ITA. You've got to play the aisle. Wheaties, Cheerios, All-Bran, Kashi, Shredded Wheat, Total, Chex, Rice Krispies, Life -- there are so many tasty options from which to choose.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I have read in a lot of sources that couples who cohabit before getting married get divorced more often than those who don't.

FWIW, I am not the OP, and I didn't cohabit with my future husband, we dated and lived in separate apartments.

Let me guess, FOX NEWS??

Anonymous wrote:When does the try-out period end?

For my partner and me, it ended when we decided we wanted to buy a house.

For my boss' daughter and her partner, it ended when they decided they wanted to have a baby.

For my friends, it was pretty much the same.

OP, you're an old fart with no experience and no knowledge about what you're talking about.

You're also a bit of a whore, if you think marriage is an exchange for services, rather than a life-long committment between people who love each other and want to build a family.

YES +1 !!!!

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is a generational thing, but I feel sorry for my female coworkers who live with a boyfriend and are pining to get married to him. Guess what, he's not going to propose anytime soon, because why should he? You cook, clean and grocery shop for him, and he gets sex whenever he wants.

When is your "tryout period" going to end?

Oh god, another cranky old lady.

I loved with my now husband for two years before we got married and we still have a wonderful relationship. Meanwhile, I have several friends who did NOT live with their now ex-husbands before they got married and they were in for a rude awakening. None of these relationships (I can think of at least four) lasted, not even through counseling. So whatever, granny.