Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 15:22     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
If you decide it needs to go for some reason (and other parents telling you to grow a pair is not a good reason) then it can be done. But from a parent of a child a year old and still using one it is not the end of the world.


I asked my child's dentist and he said it would probably be ok to keep it until age 3, but honestly, I just felt really concerned that it would potentially mess up his teeth. I had a paci myself until age 4, and I have had so many dental problems (braces three times, tongue thrusting when I swallow, the need to have teeth removed). Who knows whether I would have had these issues anyway, maybe so, but they have caused me so much discomfort, aggravation, and money, I couldn't accept even a one percent chance that I might be increasing the risk they would happen to my son.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 15:17     Subject: At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
I just went through this myself, although it wasn't as bad. About a month before DD turned 3, I told her that when she turned 3, there would be no more paci, because three year olds don't have pacis. She's only used it for sleeping at home, not even naps at daycare, since she was 9 months old, so I figured it would be no big deal.

Then she turned three. I took it and put it in my drawer (because I'm weak, and didn't want to tell her I threw it away, because I wanted her to think they just...disappear). God, was she pissed. I've never seen her so mad. Screaming, crying, hitting, kicking. After a solid hour of this she went to bed, laid down, asked me to sing a song, and then told me to leave. She slept. Next night, same deal. And then it was over. For a week she would say "Three year olds don't have pacis." And now, she doesn't say anything.

I think that once you start, it's best to continue and not back down. Don't keep starting and stopping; that will just drive her crazy.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 15:11     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
My son is nearly 3.5 and still has his for sleeping. We tried right when he turned 2 to get rid of it and he would absolutely not take naps and would fall asleep at night but then wake up screaming and not even know why. For hours. I asked myself why I was doing it and whether whatever reason (because I felt some kind of social pressure? We'd been to the dentist at 18 months and they had no problem) was worth it and the answer was NO way. Near age 3 we had a new baby and have recently become finally potty trained. He still loves the pacifier and I think that if a kid uses it for comfort it's fine. If you decide it needs to go for some reason (and other parents telling you to grow a pair is not a good reason) then it can be done. But from a parent of a child a year old and still using one it is not the end of the world. If my dentist tells me it has to go we'll cut off the ends of them or give them to the binkie fairy. Otherwise I'm not worried about it. FWIW my son talks more than any other 3 year old I know. I wouldn't call him gifted but the pacifier certainly hasn't hindered language development.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 15:02     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
No ones given a reason why the pacifier needs to go.


It may be that it doesn't need to go, but I really think that in addition to this board, OP should get her child's own medical providers to weigh in.
Honestly, my perspective is somewhat colored by my son's experience. He had one or two really sad days when he gave up his paci, but after that, he was really proud of himself because he considered himself to have achieved a "big kid" milestone.
If OP decides that she isn't going to take the paci, depending on how verbal her child is, she could ask her daugther to tell her a reason that she needs it. I try to do that with my own son (he just turned 3), not about pacis, but about things like staying at a park longer, wanting different clothes. Sometimes the reasons are silly, sometimes they are convincing, and sometimes (rarely, but sometimes) he decides he doesn't need the thing after all.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 15:00     Subject: At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Anonymous wrote:DD is 2.5 and generally a really easy kid. She is very verbal, sleeps and naps very well, and is well behaved- at least for a 2 year old.
Our challenge is getting rid of her pacifier. She only has one left- and it is only used in her crib for sleeping, but we have had no success taking it away. We tried to say it got lost which resulted in her screaming for 3 hours until we gave it to her (blood curdling, unbearable screaming like she was in terrible physical pain). We gave in on that. We poked some holes in it, no change.
We have told her she can get a brand new stuffed animal like her friends, give it to a new baby who needs it, used elmo videos about saying goodbye to pacifiers, etc. Nothing works. She is a really mellow kid except on this issue. She also has it in her mouth all night so its not like she will drop it and eventually forget it- I think she actually needs it to sleep now.
I'm tempted to just forget about this for a while and let her come to this on her own or revisit it when she is a little older since 2.5 seems to be the absolute worst age to get into a power struggle. Has anyone had success getting their kids to drop pacifiers around this age or later? Can someone reassure me I am not ruining her teeth/mouth for the rest of her life? I just don't think I can handle going through the hours of screaming again with no success.


I doubt that you are going to be able to have her give it up without at least some screaming or crying. After all you taught her that if she screams long enough she can get the pacifier back. If it's not a problem, go ahead and let her continue. If it's a problem, explain that she can't have it anymore, that no amount of crying will work because it is gone, and let her cry if necessary. But pick some one thing, don't keep trying a million different strategies because she is just learning that if she digs in her heels she doesn't have to do what you want her to do.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 14:52     Subject: At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Add social or developmental to medical in my post above. No ones given a reason why the pacifier needs to go.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 14:51     Subject: At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
14:19 - completely agree. I'm the one you quoted - like I said, if there's a reason you need to do something, then crying might be necessary. But no one yet has said that a 2.5yo needs to give up the pacifier for any medical reason, which I thought was part of the question.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 14:19     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
And it was obnoxious. Perhaps you think it's ok to let your toddler scream for hours just because on a whim you've decided she's too old for something she loves based on nothing at all, but I wholeheartedly disagree.


I agree that the way that the other poster phrased it is obnoxious, but if the poster thinks it is important for the child to give up the paci (whether medically, socially, or developmentally), she shouldn't change her position based on the fact that the child is screaming. I would assume that the OP probably thought about the issue of whether it was important to take the paci away the first time, before the screaming incident (otherwise, why would she have bothered to take it in the first place?). If the poster has changed her mind based on her child's doctor or dentist's advice, that's fine, give the pacifier back, and explain to the child that you are doing so because the doctor said it was ok for her to have it for a bit longer. But if she hasn't, she may just have to accept that the child is going to have a few very unhappy days. Which is ok, the child has a right to feel upset about a sitation that she doesn't like.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 13:56     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Has anyone had success getting their kids to drop pacifiers around this age or later? Can someone reassure me I am not ruining her teeth/mouth for the rest of her life?


The only person who can reliably and accurately tell you whether you are ruining her teeth or mouth is a pediatrician or dentist. I successfully got my son to give up his paci at age 2.5 by saying that we had lost all the pacis and could not buy new ones. He asked why and I said because he was a big boy now, and big boys don't suck pacis. He was unhappy and cried and whined for about a day, then forgot about it and moved on. We found one in the car the other day (he's 3 now) and he thought it was really funny.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 13:44     Subject: At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Pour = point
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2012 13:43     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Dude, take it away, let her scream for a week, and it's over. Stop fretting. You only prolong the process by continuing to give into it. Take it away, say no, and grow a pair. Wow.


Why? Just bc some people think based on nothing that a 2.5yo is too old?
No, no, no, this is the problem with posters, is they miss the point completely. Keep the pacifier until their 15 if you want. My point is the Op, is trying to figure out to get rid of it, without the drama. My point is just take away, and you will be drama free in no time, but procrastinating and worrying about tears, is crazy. They won't be traumatized forever. Take it away, so no, and the Op has her solution. Cool?


No, I think YOU are the one who's wrong here actually. OP was also asking about whether there is a reason that you NEED to take it away by 2.5. She clearly knows about your just let them scream approach and was wondering if there's a better less traumatic way and if it's even necessary to take it away from her at all. I presume that if no one can pour to any real reason that it should be taken away, then she won't bother.

Your "grow a pair. Wow" is implying that she's a lenient parent who just lets get kids do whatever they want. And it was obnoxious. Perhaps you think it's ok to let your toddler scream for hours just because on a whim you've decided she's too old for something she loves based on nothing at all, but I wholeheartedly disagree.

Tell me there's a reason to do something - sure, I have no issue letting a toddler scream because she wants candy for breakfast. But if my dentist says its ok to let her have it, as mentioned by many posters here, then I see no reason to take it away from her.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2012 21:03     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Santa took our DD's pacis when she was 3 and 2 months. We talked about it for a few weeks before Christmas, then the paris disappeared over night on Christmas Eve. When she asked about her pacis on Christmas Day, we reminded her that Santa had taken them. She was disappointed - but that was it. Really. And, this kid had been paci-obsessed. In the weeks before Christmas, we had even let the only-for-naps-and-bedtime rule slip. I know this will seem cruel to some people - and others obviously don't celebrate Christmas - but I've had other friends who have had similar successes with a paci fairy. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2012 20:56     Subject: At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
This is a totally random idea and probably wouldn't work (I haven't tried myself), but what if you allowed her to keep the paci but told her it needed to be used in a different way now. Like, she could still keep it for comfort but can't suck on it. Maybe you could affix it so it's near her bed but so she can't suck on it (careful of strings as a safety hazard, of course). You could explain that she's too old to suck on it now, but she has it there as a safety device. Probably wouldn't work, but might be an interesting experiment.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2012 20:44     Subject: Re:At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Dude, take it away, let her scream for a week, and it's over. Stop fretting. You only prolong the process by continuing to give into it. Take it away, say no, and grow a pair. Wow.


Why? Just bc some people think based on nothing that a 2.5yo is too old?
No, no, no, this is the problem with posters, is they miss the point completely. Keep the pacifier until their 15 if you want. My point is the Op, is trying to figure out to get rid of it, without the drama. My point is just take away, and you will be drama free in no time, but procrastinating and worrying about tears, is crazy. They won't be traumatized forever. Take it away, so no, and the Op has her solution. Cool?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2012 20:41     Subject: At wit's end with pacifier for 2 year old. Are they really that bad?
Same for us OP. tried all of the tricks and nothing. We recently potty trained, moved her to a toddler bed and I'm having #2 in August so I figure we are rocking her world enough right now. She turns 3 in the fall - we will deal with it then.

Just do the best you can - no reason to cause your kid or your family stress over a paci.