Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course it is nice to get a thank you note, but i do not count on them nor should you. we always write thank you cards, but on two occaissions, i lost the cards in my piles of stuff, and never mailed them. i just can't keep it together so on the occaisions that i mess up, i hope you are not stewing over it.

No, not stewing; but I did notice, and I do remember.

That says a hell of a lot more about you than it does the person who forgot to send the card.

I have my kids write thank you notes because (like others) I think it's a good skill to develop. But I truly could not care less whether I get them. Once I give a gift, I'm done. I don't give it another thought. I can't imagine having the time or energy or desire to track who sends me a note.

Anonymous wrote:of course it is nice to get a thank you note, but i do not count on them nor should you. we always write thank you cards, but on two occaissions, i lost the cards in my piles of stuff, and never mailed them. i just can't keep it together so on the occaisions that i mess up, i hope you are not stewing over it.

No, not stewing; but I did notice, and I do remember.

of course it is nice to get a thank you note, but i do not count on them nor should you. we always write thank you cards, but on two occaissions, i lost the cards in my piles of stuff, and never mailed them. i just can't keep it together so on the occaisions that i mess up, i hope you are not stewing over it.

I think thank you cards are really really really important. They don't take long- I mean just scribble thanks for the toy lawn mower. Jimmy loves playing with it outside. And throw them in the mail. I think it shows respect tonthe gift giver and also value to the gift. I don't understand the hostility of parents who get angry about them. If it drives you off the deep end, ok then don't write the bloody cards. But honestly after receiving a nice thank you card for getting little Janie a train set, I feel touched that the time and money I spent choosing her gift is acknowledged.

As you can tell by their language, there are very few classy people in the "no note" crowd.

I swear like a sailor and still write thank-you notes. It's possible to do both.

Not gonna write them. Hate receiving them, they just make me feel guilty that I don't get a chance to write them. We have nice big parties that people enjoy. We provide plenty of food and drink for kids and adults alike. They bring presents. We say thanks so much and so do the kids. Done.

Anonymous wrote:When your child is a teen and knows how to write them (without stress, without thinking, and they are just natural) for college interviews, job interviews, etc you will wish he had the experience of writing simple thank you notes for gifts when he was little. DS wonders why his friends freak when they have to write them. It takes him 2 minutes while his friends try to figure out what to say and how to say it. Sad for them I think. Just a skill.

+1

Kids typically love sending and receiving mail, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your child is a teen and knows how to write them (without stress, without thinking, and they are just natural) for college interviews, job interviews, etc you will wish he had the experience of writing simple thank you notes for gifts when he was little. DS wonders why his friends freak when they have to write them. It takes him 2 minutes while his friends try to figure out what to say and how to say it. Sad for them I think. Just a skill.

Amen. As someone who interviews people for employment, candidates get a +1 when they write thank you notes. It doesn't change anything if one person is clearly more qualified, but when it's an even match, a candidate expressing thanks for the time I took out of my day to interview him or her goes a long way.

My kids are learning to write thank-you notes so that they are in the habit when they are older. It's a life skill.

I'll preface by saying I do write thank you notes and I make my children do so as well. However, I interview people and every time I get a thank you note, I feel bad that the person wasted their time because I don't care either way if I get a thank you note.

I think people who get all righteous about deserving a thank you note are the rude ones.

For a kids party, no, there will be no thank you notes. I will have my DD properly receive the wrapped gift and thank you verbally. Other occasions are different, internship interviews or something similar, and thank you notes are important.

Don't bother quoting Emily Post, she doesn't run my life.

Anonymous wrote:

And yes, thank you notes are common courtesy and good manners. Period. You want presents, be prepared to invest 30 minutes in a quick thank you note to your guests. Agree 100% that it's a good habit to start young. People appreciate thank you notes and they most definitely notice when they don't receive them.

I agree. I do definitely notice when I do not receive them. And when I do not receive a note for a gift that I've mailed, or placed in a gift bin at a bounce place party as a PP said, I always wonder if the kid ever even got the gift - or if it got lost or something. And I have to admit that my esteem of someone decreases a tiny, tiny bit if she turns out to be a person who doesn't send thank you notes.

Anonymous wrote:I loathe these DCUM threads that include some sort of finger wagging accompanied with a "Got that?" or "Got it?" I don't have a strong opinion about the thank you note question but the OP, I hate her.

You're a freak for investing hatred in an anonymous poster, PP.

And yes, thank you notes are common courtesy and good manners. Period. You want presents, be prepared to invest 30 minutes in a quick thank you note to your guests. Agree 100% that it's a good habit to start young. People appreciate thank you notes and they most definitely notice when they don't receive them.

I loathe these DCUM threads that include some sort of finger wagging accompanied with a "Got that?" or "Got it?" I don't have a strong opinion about the thank you note question but the OP, I hate her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's the beauty of being an adult, you don't HAVE to do anything.

True - you have every right to be rude.

OH give me a fucking break! Send a card that is thrown away after you verbally thank people and host them? Get over your pompous self and jump into the real world. No one gives a shit about the thank you cards.

I do. I really enjoy receiving them. Sometimes the child will draw a picture on the card, or write something himself (if old enough to write). Even if the child is too young to write the card himself, I still appreciate a note from the mom that says something like "thank you for the puzzle; Joey really seems to like it." And my DD really loves receiving and opening mail addressed to her! All in all, it's a classy gesture on the part of the party-thrower, and requires little time and effort.

I'm glad you're raising a daughter as self absorbed and self important as you. Congratulations!

I'm the poster you quoted. I wrote that we enjoy receiving thank you cards, and that my DD enjoys receiving mail, and that I think sending thank you cards is a classy gesture. I don't see how you interpret that as my daughter and me being self-absorbed and self-important.

As you can tell by their language, there are very few classy people in the "no note" crowd.

Classy is such a cheeseball word.

Anonymous wrote:When your child is a teen and knows how to write them (without stress, without thinking, and they are just natural) for college interviews, job interviews, etc you will wish he had the experience of writing simple thank you notes for gifts when he was little. DS wonders why his friends freak when they have to write them. It takes him 2 minutes while his friends try to figure out what to say and how to say it. Sad for them I think. Just a skill.

Amen. As someone who interviews people for employment, candidates get a +1 when they write thank you notes. It doesn't change anything if one person is clearly more qualified, but when it's an even match, a candidate expressing thanks for the time I took out of my day to interview him or her goes a long way.

My kids are learning to write thank-you notes so that they are in the habit when they are older. It's a life skill.

What about a thank you email blast sent to all those who attended a party - not thanking individually for the specific gifts just a generic general thank you to the mass?

Not ideal, but a thousand times better than not doing anything at all.