OP here, thank you for all the encouragement and feedback. And sharing your own stories. While I agree that it was a total ass comment my DH made. My DH is a great guy, good husband, very involved father, the works.

I think the problem is two fold. One he's used to my attitude that nothing bothers me. Or being able to deal with everything. Two, I know he misses the the old figure that he fell in love with, which was 118 -120 lbs, which was pre-twins and infertility! I don't think he knows what to do with my depression. He's had a job that he loves, and totally kicks ass in. I decided to SAH with the kids and have fallen into a bit of bored routine.

I think it's time for me to take my life back, and it needs to start with exercise!

Again, thanks for all the comments even the fat ones and the one where he will leave me

If my husband were to tell me I needed to lose weight, I would yell at him. And be secretly thankful for his pointing out something that no one other than your spouse and mother will. Friends will tell you shit like "skinny is so 80s" or "you have had kids, what do you expect?! And it is so easy to tell yourself that something stayed in the dryer too long, or the drycleaner shrunk it.

When I bitch about gaining weight, my husband points out when I do something like eat a whole bag of candy in a weekend. Then when I yell at him, he points out that I am the one who started it, which is true. Not that I would ever let him know.

Anyway, be glad your husband is being honest with you. Versus telling you how awesome and hot you are and then posting on here about how he isnt sexually attracted to his wife anymore and having an affair.

Take him up on the trainer. They aren't cheap but it is a good workout, guaranteed. Seriously, buy like a 10 pack of sessions....the largest pre-paid pack of personal training sessions you can. Make sure to put it on a card for which you are certain he reviews the statement. then when he asks about it, innocently mention how he said you should get a trainer...

He will learn to watch his wording next time, and you will get some awesome personal training sessions!

Anonymous wrote:Find a hot male personal trainer with a sexy accent.

Amen to that.

OP - your husband sounds like a total dick. I'd love to be at your weight (same height, but for me that is almost impossible). I'm sure you look great.

Your DH is an ass, how's the rest of your relationship?

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:BMI is a worthless indicator anyway. All it says is what you should weigh for your height, has nothing to do with the condition of your body.

Being "tone" does not mean you are in shape.

I know weight lifters that can't touch their toes and are constantly at the orthopedic and runners who have had multiple knee scopes and live off cordisone shots.

The OP needs love and support not criticism.

It's not criticism. Just that BMI doesn't take everything into account. By the same token, you could have a perfect BMI and still be a flabby slug.

If OP is happy enough with her body to be wearing a bikini then her DH should be as well. Comments like his do nothing except encourage OP's resentment and damage her self esteem.

I may trim down from exercise, but where can I send you to make your dick bigger? slam doors- bye

Reminds of the guys I used to date (once) that would find something to slight me. I think it is rude to roll my eyes, but I would do it anyway and move on. It is his way of trying to get more power in the relationship, easier to do when you are down/ depressed. Take him up on the trainer, exercise has great benefits in relieving depression. Realize as one of the PP comments (but may not have said it clearly), you were wearing a bikini because of your fine figure that you know that you have. May want to say to him, next time he makes a snide comment, that he needs to accept the package that you offer and people are not something you put together from parts on the shelf and you are happy with the package you have to offer.

Anonymous wrote:Make him paid for the trainer...oh wait he pays for everything.

OP, if he says you need a trainer, great. Go out and get one. He can pay for it. Then you will look great when you DUMP HIS ASS and marry a NICE man.

I'm confused as to why he says you need to lose weight when he does too. He shouldn't have told you in such a way and he seems like he is not being there for you emotionally as well.

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:BMI is a worthless indicator anyway. All it says is what you should weigh for your height, has nothing to do with the condition of your body.

Being "tone" does not mean you are in shape.

I know weight lifters that can't touch their toes and are constantly at the orthopedic and runners who have had multiple knee scopes and live off cordisone shots.

The OP needs love and support not criticism.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting in shape would probably help your mood.

If you're fat, why are you wearing a bikini?

I'm 5'5'' 130lbs. not fat, at least not by my BMI. But I do carry my weight around my mid section and on my upper legs


to the Poster that said my mood would probably be better if I exercised, yes you are right. I just need to get motivated and nothing is more motivating than ones DH saying they need to hit the gym!

You are not fat.

Your DH is an a$$.

BMI is a worthless indicator anyway. All it says is what you should weigh for your height, has nothing to do with the condition of your body.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband said the same shit once and our therapist set him straight.

But really - hire a babysitter and get the hottest trainer that you can find. Also - I think you need a pool boy - he needs to be hot too - ask him what he thinks of your midsection and you ass(ets).

Skinny is so 80's. If you BMI is fine just exercise for your health and endorphines.

I am sorry your H is being an idiot.

is skinny so 80 because thats the last time you were skinny/healthy?

being fat is the new skinny right? flab is the new muscle too i bet.

and cellulite is the new tone.

you keep excusing the mess you turned out to be and passing it off as the new thing and see how far that gets you

Her BMI is 21.6 NORMAL is 18.5-24.9

Mine is 22.8 - care to share.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband said the same shit once and our therapist set him straight.

But really - hire a babysitter and get the hottest trainer that you can find. Also - I think you need a pool boy - he needs to be hot too - ask him what he thinks of your midsection and you ass(ets).

Skinny is so 80's. If you BMI is fine just exercise for your health and endorphines.

I am sorry your H is being an idiot.

Lol skinny is 80s says the fatty

If her BMI is okay - she is okay - her husband is an ass. How are those cigarettes and diet cokes treating you - 80's girl.

Anonymous wrote:My husband said the same shit once and our therapist set him straight.

But really - hire a babysitter and get the hottest trainer that you can find. Also - I think you need a pool boy - he needs to be hot too - ask him what he thinks of your midsection and you ass(ets).

Skinny is so 80's. If you BMI is fine just exercise for your health and endorphines.

I am sorry your H is being an idiot.

is skinny so 80 because thats the last time you were skinny/healthy?

being fat is the new skinny right? flab is the new muscle too i bet.

and cellulite is the new tone.

you keep excusing the mess you turned out to be and passing it off as the new thing and see how far that gets you