Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It didn't bother me until my kids were in elem school and all the parents were a good 10 years younger than me.

Agree. Also, I was "out of sync" with friends and family who had children when they were younger. Also with being older, I had to deal with illnesses and deaths of parent and in-laws while raising a young child.

Having said that, we survived and my child is still the best thing that has ever happened to me.

This sums it up for me exactly. I feel very out of sync with my friends that had kids younger and I feel lonely very often due to this expecially now that my parents are gone. I actually find that I have less patience as an older mom, but that might be attributed to the fact that I am raising twin boys...

Anonymous wrote:It didn't bother me until my kids were in elem school and all the parents were a good 10 years younger than me.

Agree. Also, I was "out of sync" with friends and family who had children when they were younger. Also with being older, I had to deal with illnesses and deaths of parent and in-laws while raising a young child.

Having said that, we survived and my child is still the best thing that has ever happened to me.

It didn't bother me until my kids were in elem school and all the parents were a good 10 years younger than me.

Op here. Thanks for all the positive and insightful responses. Age didn't really cross my mind until my mom (who had me at 23 and my sister at 25) made a disapproving comment about the fact that I was even just thinking about having a baby at my age. My mom is almost always supportive of anything I do so her comment really gave me pause.

My grandma had my mom at age 45. My mom had me at age 40 and I had my first at 41 and my last at 43. So, I can't even imagine what parenting would be like at a younger age (like 39 ). It is totally foreign in my family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad I had my kids later in life, I'm wealthy, im well educated amd I can pass that on to my kids.

Younger me was an idiot.

Love this. Had my only at 40. Younger me was a clueless idiot!

Add me to this camp as well. No way younger me could have parented my kids as well as older me.

This sentiment somewhat irritates me. It feels a bit smug from many older moms.

Of course money makes things MUCH easier, and no one is discounting that fact, but honestly, older moms are no better/worse than younger mom because of this great maturity that older moms love to crow about. If one ended up having children younger, I'm sure they would have been just fine as well. I just get so sick of these subtle comments that are supposedly innocuous, but really draw lines in the sand about how your choices are better than someone else's.

Pp, really, if I had had a kid at 21, that kid would have run roughshod all over me. At 38, I was better prepared to be an actual parent. That's a statement about my maturity, not yours. There are a lot of people who can parent well in their 20s. I was not one of them.

Not everything is about you.

Anonymous wrote:22:54. If you do not mind me asking....were your kids w/ ART assistance or naturally conceived? Signed: Curious!

Many Many fertility treatments ...... at least 12 rounds but not all went to full retrieval.

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 and considering having a second child but really worry I am too old, and that even if I get through the early years, having two teens in the house while in my mid 50s might put me over the edge. Anyone with experience in this area have words of wisdom to share? I should add that DH and I don't have the most harmonious of marriages, but we work hard to make it work.

I had my first at 36 and my second at 38 (almost 39). My not-so-harmonious marraigae almost fell apart after #2 (who was not planned but we jointly decided to continue the pregancy). There were several tough years. I think that would have happened regardless of my and DH's age. The addition of the second child made plain some serious pre-existing issues in our marriage. Sometimes you do not find out these thngs until you put the system under stress, and then the weaknesses pop out. Boy, did they pop out. We are through the bad patch now, but it was extremely ugly at the time. I think your marriage issues deserve more consideration, honestly, than the age thing.

I have a tween and current first grader, so I can't answer your teenager question except to say that we will get through it. The tween is already turning a bit difficult at times, but I feel like if I got through the problems with my DH we can get through the problems with the tween. Both of our children were wonderful gifts and I could not imagine not having them.

We're parents of a preschooler and in our 50s. So far, so good. We're still able to keep up with her energy level. We know this is our only chance at parenting, so are working hard to do the best that we can. Frankly for my life, this has been the best decision to wait until now. I can't compare to how I would have been in my 20s or 30s, but I imagine that I'm more easy-going about a lot of things than I would have been then then. I find I can learn a lot from younger parents too! I've been pleasantly surprised to find myself accepted by them.

"This sentiment somewhat irritates me. It feels a bit smug from many older moms.

Of course money makes things MUCH easier, and no one is discounting that fact, but honestly, older moms are no better/worse than younger mom because of this great maturity that older moms love to crow about. If one ended up having children younger, I'm sure they would have been just fine as well. I just get so sick of these subtle comments that are supposedly innocuous, but really draw lines in the sand about how your choices are better than someone else's."

PP: One of the 50ish pp. The op asked and here are the answers. My statement (and I suspect those of others) is about my life and my life choices. I was young and foolish for a long time (and still can be foolish!). This probably led to me parenting later than most. There are many great and not-so-great parents irrespective of age.

I'm glad I had my kids later in life, I'm wealthy, im well educated amd I can pass that on to my kids.

Younger me was an idiot.

Love this. Had my only at 40. Younger me was a clueless idiot

Add me to this camp as well. No way younger me could have parented my kids as well as older me.


This sentiment somewhat irritates me. It feels a bit smug from many older moms. Of course money makes things MUCH easier, and no one is discounting that fact, but honestly, older moms are no better/worse than younger mom because of this great maturity that older moms love to crow about. If one ended up having children younger, I'm sure they would have been just fine as well. I just get so sick of these subtle comments that are supposedly innocuous, but really draw lines in the sand about how your choices are better than someone else's.

Perhaps, but I think it's more that people are just stating their own opinions. I have kids with a 12 year age difference. Sure, I think I was fine as a younger mom but I think the older me is a better parent. It says nothing about you. Really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad I had my kids later in life, I'm wealthy, im well educated amd I can pass that on to my kids.

Younger me was an idiot.

Love this. Had my only at 40. Younger me was a clueless idiot!

Add me to this camp as well. No way younger me could have parented my kids as well as older me.

This sentiment somewhat irritates me. It feels a bit smug from many older moms.

Of course money makes things MUCH easier, and no one is discounting that fact, but honestly, older moms are no better/worse than younger mom because of this great maturity that older moms love to crow about. If one ended up having children younger, I'm sure they would have been just fine as well. I just get so sick of these subtle comments that are supposedly innocuous, but really draw lines in the sand about how your choices are better than someone else's.

Yeah it's funny..had kids at 38 and almost 41 and never thought of myself as old

Another 50+ parent with a 5 year old and I'm thrilled to be raising my dc at this stage; more patience, life experience, etc. (relatively speaking).

We work at our marriage-what marriage doesn't need work?-and consider ourselves lucky we don't think about divorce all the time like many of our friends.

Listen to your heart.

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 and considering having a second child but really worry I am too old, and that even if I get through the early years, having two teens in the house while in my mid 50s might put me over the edge. Anyone with experience in this area have words of wisdom to share? I should add that DH and I don't have the most harmonious of marriages, but we work hard to make it work.

I had a baby at 42 and it never even occurred to me to think of myself as "too old". I think you have to feel young to manage kids, so at you age, unless you have real health issues, its mostly in your head. However, if your marriage is having issues, than having a kid might not be wise.