OP, I think you are handling this fine, and I get that you are trying really hard not to lay a head trip on your daughter about all of it. Glad to hear the ped was the one to bring it up.

OP, when I was in high school I thought I had trouble making friends because I was overweight. Then I realized some of the so-called popular girls were chunkier than me. It is all about the confidence. It is great that you are encouraging her to exercise and eat healthy, but she clearly has predisposition to be chubby at this point in her life, and it is very important that she knows that it does not diminish her value in your eyes, or in anyone's eyes unless she lets it. Please help her find clothes that flatter her body rather than hide it or try to squeeze into things that only look good on really skinny girls. That will make a huge difference. Good luck!

I'm the OP and am following up on this. We went to the pediatrician today and - so happy - the doctor brought it up very gently and while she was plotting her growth on the growth chart. I had sneaked a peak at the chart earlier and saw that she was 5'2" and 152. So, I was 12 pounds off my estimate. The doctor then came out and spoke to me on the QT. It was a good conversation and she was just very empathetic and supportive. I spoke to my DD on the way home about some strategies and will leave it at that. Or, at least I'll try. I'm giving her some South Beach food plans because my doc suggested it was a good plan and I basically eat this way too. I'm also hopeful she will increase her activity level. I appreciate the support.

OP, I don't have much advice for you, but your heart is in the right place.

One of my 3 kids weighs quite a bit for his age. The other 2 are actually UNDER-weight. My poor middle kid just didn't win the lottery with his genes, and just isn't as fit or active. It doesn't help that he refuses to eat pretty much any fruit/veggie. It is a source of anxiety for me, but I've found that the only real way to solve the problem is to (1) not have unhealthy food in the house...period (that way he can't sneak unhealthy snacks), and (2) really force him to be active by going to the pool a LOT, riding bikes as a family, going on walks after dinner, etc. I have to say that in the summer, it is soooooo much easier to keep him active. He happily will spend 6+ hours swimming around in a pool (and isn't in the house constantly grabbing snacks). And our nightly walks have turned into good "mommy and me" time.

So, if I were you, I'd really try to get your daughter out there this summer. Go on long bike rides. Take long walks together. Just make it a priority. At her age, I truly believe that being active is key. Also, don't serve bread or cake with dinner (though this seems pretty obvious, no?).

Show her this pic and let her know that this will be her dating material and husband prospects if she doesn't drop the weight

What are you or your husband like? It might be genetic and a losing battle

Anonymous wrote:She's "overeating" fruit and you're worried. Sweet crispy crap, get a grip.

No, you misread my post.

She's "overeating" fruit and you're worried. Sweet crispy crap, get a grip.

Call the doctor to share your concerns/ask for a referral to a nutritionist and then let the doctor do the talking with your daughter at the appointment. Then you aren't the food police.
http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisinggirls/bodies/weight.html

I have a similar daughter, age 11, 5'2.5" and 111 lbs at her last check up a few weeks ago. I really can't have any junk food in the house and only have dessert for special occasions. I keep tons of fruit in the house and my daughter eats lots of it, especially between 3-5pm. It does stress me at times because her tendancy is to overeat like it's Thanksgiving. It's hard to me to understand and makes me concerned about her weight when she's an adult. We do lots of family walks and hikes because she resists joining sport teams. If her weight were 140 lbs I would definitely set up a meeting with the pediatrician.

I want to throw out there that BMI isn't perfect. Anyone who is muscular is going to appear "heavy" according to BMI. Is your daughter naturally muscular?

For me, I've spent since I was about 15, when I really started "packing on" muscle, confusing nurses and doctors when they check my weight (I don't have well-defined "ripped" muscles). Muscle is heavy, no way around it. I look much lighter than what the scale says. I once had a doc lecture me about my weight. I generally shy away from confrontation--but finally I said "have you even looked at me?! I'm a size 4!" He just blindly looked at my height and weight on the chart, never looked at me, the person, to see I'm just rather powerfully built.

Finally, has your ped suggested checking her for any metabolism-related issues? If your daughter consumes a healthy number of calories and also participates in aerobic activity and is still gaining weight, then it might be something completely out of her control. Imagine how she must feel: doing everything "right" and still her body refuses to cooperate.

5'2 and 140 is not thin but it's not fat either. Do you think she doesn't realize how she looks? She will have the whole world to criticize and judge her, why do you think she needs her mother to do so as well?

You should eat healthy. You should exercise. Put down those cupcakes...do you really think she doesn't know that? How do you think pressing it is going to change it? It's not, she is just going to have a complex and get mad at you.

If she is not motivated to look like you and your beautiful self, then she's not motivated. It's something that she needs to decide for herself- trust me, she sees herself in the mirror, in pictures, and has a ton of messages telling her she isn't good enough. She doesn't need you adding to that.

Kids gain weight, teens gain weight, it's normal. There are a lot of things going on with their bodies.

Come back and ask when she's 5'2 and 200 lbs. Then my response will change.