Anonymous wrote:

which are just "if I had the perfect house" which for most of us isn't going to happen. ... Really? Get a house in a good location where the commute isnt soul sucking and where you would send your kids to the school (assuming no private). Everything else is just gravy.

This is pretty subjective and depends on each individual's lifestyle and preferences. We cared more about the yard than the house. We could have bought a bigger fancier house on a tint lot near a playground but opted for an older less exciting house on a great lot. When the kids were infants and toddlers I used to think that the yard was a waste but now that they are in elementary school, we would die without the yard. Its a quiet, safe neighborhood, the yard is fenced and the kids can play outside by themselves. If we were in the tony lot/walk to a close playground situation I would need to be going with them whenever they wanted to play outside. The level of physical activity, outdoor time, and no stress/easy playdates the the yard facilitates is very valuable to us.

Right - that's exactly my point! The part of my post that you quoted is the only thing that I've heard friends consistently say. Good schools, under an hour commute. People who bought in bad school areas are all trying to move and/or totally scrimping to come up with private school (obviously I'm talking about people who were/are planning on public - if you're a private school person anyway, this does not apply). People with, as I said, soul-sucking commutes seem to be miserable and trying anything to reduce the commute. Other than that, exactly the stuff that you said happens - we never use our yard, you would "die" without it! It's really hard to say what any one person is going to like, because it, as you said "is pretty subjective and depends on each individual's lifestyle and preferences."

We lived in a four story townhouse when my kids were babies and toddlers. While the stairs got old, the real issues were that: (1) there was no bathroom on the floor with the kitchen dining room (really, an issue for everyone, not just potty training toddlers); and (2) if we were in the basement (where the family room/tv and playroom were) and a kid woke up in their bedroom crying in the middle of the night, it was two LONG flights of stairs to get to them, by which time my oldest would generally have himself so worked up that calming him down was hard.

Our new house is a split level... and I was convinced I'd hate a split level, but it's been perfect. The bedrooms are on the upper level, but it's only six steps down to the kitchen/dining/living room. It's enough that the kids feel separate when they are sleeping, but we don't have all the stairs keeping us from them if they need something.

which are just "if I had the perfect house" which for most of us isn't going to happen. ... Really? Get a house in a good location where the commute isnt soul sucking and where you would send your kids to the school (assuming no private). Everything else is just gravy.

This is pretty subjective and depends on each individual's lifestyle and preferences. We cared more about the yard than the house. We could have bought a bigger fancier house on a tint lot near a playground but opted for an older less exciting house on a great lot. When the kids were infants and toddlers I used to think that the yard was a waste but now that they are in elementary school, we would die without the yard. Its a quiet, safe neighborhood, the yard is fenced and the kids can play outside by themselves. If we were in the tony lot/walk to a close playground situation I would need to be going with them whenever they wanted to play outside. The level of physical activity, outdoor time, and no stress/easy playdates the the yard facilitates is very valuable to us.

1. Powder room on first floor - this is HUGE with potty training kids and when you don't want the caretaker to have to leave the kids alone on the floor to go to the bathroom
2. Dedicated playroom - doesn't have to be huge, but a place for the kid to play alone but within earshot of the family room. it also helps control clutter - ours is set up with shelves around the room and a crafts table. everything in there belongs to the kids, and it's their space.
3. Easy access to the park and playground
4. Fenced in backyard flat enough to run around; ideally it would be easily visible from the family room so you can watch kids without going outside
5. If you can afford more bedrooms, do it. If you end up having an extra kid, you will want the extra guest room/office/place to retreat when DH snores.
6. More storage on the main floor, whether an attached garage or a huge closet or laundry room - place to store strollers (don't want to have to lug them into the basement), carseats, etc.
7. Think about accessability of laundry - on a living floor is better than the basement

The one feature of our house that gave me pause before we bought is the one I've ended up loving most - the laundry is in the kitchen. Yes, it's weird, but it's so, so efficient...also love that we live in a rambler, with off-street parking...on a road that dead-ends. Wish we had a mudroom, DH wishes we had a garage, but our super-unclassy (according to DCUM) carport is a good enough compromise on both of those.

We did fine without any of these things. We had a baby in an old house with no storage, no garage, no laundry room (stackable in the bathroom), no family room, old creaking floors, and lots of stairs. We were creative and it worked. BUT if I could have had one thing it would have been an open kitchen overlooking a family room. It was always a problem trying to make meals while the baby/toddler was playing and I didn't want her crawling around boiling pots and hot stoves. I put up gates but she mostly cried at them

We did fine in the same situation too, when we had to. It can be done, but now that we've moved to a larger home it is SO MUCH easier.

A great workable kids bathroom. Our previous br was 5x4 feet had a door that opened against the tub so you had to come all the way in with all the baby stuff, then close the door all the way to access the bath so both of us could enjoy playing with the baby. And forget visiting grandparents enjoying bathtime with us. There was no room to get in, so the grandparents would peek around the door like "baby. bath. Great. Got it...Adorable" then leave to give us room.

Our kids bathroom is now a lot larger without the door issue, full access to the length of the bath at all times and double sinks spread across the length with lots of storage and everynight I want to give my husband a bj for buying this house. It has made everything so much more pleasant.

I would wonder how many of these things really are "essential" as in you wouldn't buy a house without them and which are just "if I had the perfect house" which for most of us isn't going to happen. For example, we thought we wanted a yard, but we live in our neighborhood with our yard with. I fewer than 6 awesome playgrounds within .25 miles (two are at the bottom and top of our street and we can see them from our front porch). Perhaps as a result, we never use the back yard other than that we have a little vegetable garden. So whereas I thought nice flat yard would be essential, it turns out I would strongly prefer lots of parks next door - kids like it more bc we make friends who are always there, it's different playgrounds, etc.

And it seems like some is personal preference, like the all bedrooms upstairs versus the no stairs people. Really? Get a house in a good location where the commute isnt soul sucking and where you would send your kids to the school (assuming no private). Everything else is just gravy.

I have a small colonial in a kid-friendly neighborhood with a great backyard, so I don't have too much to complain about. However, if I ever get to buy another house, I'll look for all of these things PLUS the open kitchen/family room concept and a mudroom.

Right now, I'm contantly moving between the kitchen and the family room checking on kids and food. I'd like to be able to have everyone togther as we cook, do homework, etc...

The mudroom is essential. Kids have so much crap they bring in. Coats, shoes, backpacks, etc... We've made it work by having our garage as the dumping ground but it really crowds the garage and keeps us from actually getting the car inside!

We did fine without any of these things. We had a baby in an old house with no storage, no garage, no laundry room (stackable in the bathroom), no family room, old creaking floors, and lots of stairs. We were creative and it worked. BUT if I could have had one thing it would have been an open kitchen overlooking a family room. It was always a problem trying to make meals while the baby/toddler was playing and I didn't want her crawling around boiling pots and hot stoves. I put up gates but she mostly cried at them.

I found that outdoor space is WAY more important than I would have ever thought. Either a fenced in back yard or EASY access to a park/playground. Area that is safe to walk with stroller, kids bikes, etc.

Our TH is fine on the inside for us, but our small backyard & lack of park options make me frustrated. We end up driving to the park 5 min away (the one that I thought was great becasue it was so close, but now is a PITA to cart three kids, pack up all their sports stuff, water bottles, etc.) to.

Well I might be strange but I HATE having all the bedrooms on one level. Or even the same level as the living room. We have a three level house now. When our son was an infant he would wake instantly from a nap if he heard you anywhere near his door- no matter how much you tiptoed around in the kitchen. Then we moved to the three level house and his bedroom is on the same level as ours, while the living spaces below- and he sleeps 2-3 hour naps. When our daughter came along, we put her in the bedroom on the third floor - which is perfect. She doesn't wake up the toddler in the middle of the night - but we have the monitor. All my friends complain that their newest baby wakes the older child up in the middle of the night- but I'm so glad we don't have that problem anymore.

We bought our house before we had our child. I insisted on a 2 car garage. I am SO glad. I have friends who have on street parking only and a steep set of steps to climb to get into their house. It is a PITA with my 10 year old, a birthday gift, and a covered dish. I cannot imagine how angry I would be in the rain, with a preschooler, an infant carrier, and my weekly groceries. And forget about dealing with on street parking after snow storms.

I wish we had thought more about the community, or lack thereof. Our community is very small and it is off of a major road. So we can walk the dog around our cul de sac, but if you venture out on to the major road, there are cars 3 feet away from you traveling at 50+ mph. Hard to have a nice, chatty, family walk with speeding cars and the traffic noise. I always feel like I am on guard when I walk the dog alone, let alone with my child. I also wish we had given some thought to the amenities in the neighborhood. We have sidewalks and that is about it. After we had our child, I wished that we had tot lots, a pool (I would LOVE to have a pool in my neighborhood), a park nearby. Something like that. We have no amenities other than sidewalks.

A kitchen with breakfast room area. I wish that it was bigger because we spend so much time in these areas. A tub that isn't just a few inches from the toilet is easier to give the kids a bath and get to the faucet. Kitchen island is more useful than I thought it would be. Flat backyard space is very important. The playground set gets tons of use and the flat area is where they play sports. Fenced yard is good and non-busy street is huge.

I wish that we had a walk in pantry and a little more counter space in the kitchen. I would love upstairs laundry. No one gets undressed downstairs as all bedrooms are on the upper level so its just travel time. I would like a mudroom with enough storage for all sports stuff. I wish that the kids bedroom were more equal in size.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Two story foyer with shiny brass chandelier

most expensive baby mobile ever, huh?

+1 and also vaulted ceilings

Doesn't have to be a rambler, but bedrooms all on one level. There are so many cape cods in our neighborhood with bedrooms on different levels and I personally would not be comfortable with our kids sleeping on a totally different floor while they're little.