Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI=120K in DC
Offer was 4k off 23K, starting at 6th grade
Answer to school was no thank you.

I think we have too little debt, too much home equity and a SAHM. None of which we are willing to change as it would negative impact on the other members of the family.

It was difficult, but, in the end, probably the best decision for all concerned.

4K off 23K tuition sounds like a very good offer. What was your expectations of FA amount?

Thanks for asking. I did a LOT of number crunching. We could have done it, but it would be hard to save anything after tuition. We, unfortunately, don't have a ton cushion (emergency funds, college, retirement, etc). I'm not whining. I just know what kind of sacrifice it would be to pay $19k plus. If the SAHM returned to work, there would be increased expenses and no guarantee of enough after tax income that would compensate for the benefit of having someone at home.

I was hoping for $9K. That might have sealed the deal. That's just how tight it is here. So we'll re-visit this situation when it's time for HS. There are a lot more options for HS both public and private. Meanwhile, we'll work to get our financial house in better shape. It was definitely worth trying. We met some very nice folks during the process. I only posted to help people get a realistic idea of what could happen. I only wish that I could have known earlier in the process so as not to get too emotionally attached to any school. Because, at the end of the day, you have choose what's best for the entire family - not just one member.

For the folks asking why don't we move - it is impractical (not impossible). We own our very modest PG county house but the mortgage is about $40k underwater. In order to sell we'd need to find that amount of cash, plus enough for a down payment, plus enough for moving expenses. We just don't have it. We could of course rent out our house and go rent another, but we would make crappy landlords and we'd lose money. And we really like our little house and our community. But we can afford private school and think school is a better way to spend money than housing, anyway, and because we love the school and our kid is very happy it seems like a good solution. If we had a good public we would send DS without a second thought. But we don't, and so life gets complicated since we want a great school for him, whether it is public or private.

Anonymous wrote:Purely innocent question -- why don't people who don't like their local public schools move to a better county? Please don't hit me with alot of "how can I be so judgmental" comments. We live "outside the beltway" for jobs in DC, so we do the long commutes for work and school. I just don't understand why those that complain about their local public schools don't just pack up and look for a more modest home in a better school district? My husband and I made that choice for our kids. Just wondering why there are so many people on these boards bemoan the fact that they can't afford the DC privates, and that their local schools are terrible.

Me too - and seriously like pp, I'm not being snarky. If you can't afford privates, and your school district sucks, why don't you move? We live in a smaller house in a good school district, but I'm not everyone. So I'm just trying to understand the other side - why do you stay?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:300k is solid middle class in dc so yes it makes sense

Here we go again. What dc do you live in?

For real. In what universe is HHI of 300k middle class? You do realize there are plenty of us around here raising families on HHI of 100-200k, right? And we are still able to shop, buy a home, and occasionally take vacations. Some of us even manage to send kids to private school on that, WITHOUT financial aid.

+1 and give a modest amount to the annual fund.

If I ever found out that someone making $200k, living in a 5k sq foot home, driving a fancy car, etc. was getting aid at our school I would be beyond pissed off. It's about choices. If you want to send your kid(s) to private school, you need to be willing to make major sacrifices. Financial aid should be reserved for those who truly couldn't otherwise attend!

Purely innocent question -- why don't people who don't like their local public schools move to a better county? Please don't hit me with alot of "how can I be so judgmental" comments. We live "outside the beltway" for jobs in DC, so we do the long commutes for work and school. I just don't understand why those that complain about their local public schools don't just pack up and look for a more modest home in a better school district? My husband and I made that choice for our kids. Just wondering why there are so many people on these boards bemoan the fact that they can't afford the DC privates, and that their local schools are terrible.

I did not mean to double post.

I'm 12:49 and yes I know too many people doing this and I'm not convinced that it is fraud. If you have debt, and virtually no savings then the school takes this in account. A neighbor and others that I know do this. It is possible that there is another way for them to own a 600k + home, drive luxury cars, dual income earners and get aid. Also, most of them are not minorities. I have only met 1 family that makes me feel happy that I gave. Meaning they seem really deserving. They are very nice, grateful and have very high expectations for their DC.

I'm the PP that 13:48 quoted asking what a "good" school is to me. I live in PG county, and I would dearly love to be able to send my kid to any school in Montgomery or Howard Counties, or a either of the other two elementary schools in my town in PG. Alas, we are zoned for the one with the lowest test scores, lowest levels of PTA involvement, and highest rates of suspensions. The idea of suspensions in elementary school makes me sick, because it does nothing to help the child. The focus in this school on law and order, in getting your butt into a seat and staying there, is overwhelming. I want something very different for my kid, as well as for all those kids in the school...but I only have control of where my kid goes. And so he goes private.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Complaining about not being able to afford private school tuition is like complaining about not being able to afford first class airfare on a plane.

Why?
Schooling is a necessity

But private school is NOT a necessity. In this country we consider universal public education to be a social good and we provide it. Is it the best education available? Maybe not. But it is supposed to meet basic criteria. Like a bottom of the barrel car meets basic safety criteria.

Private school is a luxury. One that I wish to give to my child for a variety of reasons. The price is one reason why we decided to have only one child. With just one child, the tuition and aftercare are more than our mortgage. If you can't afford it on $200k+ income, rearrange your priorities and either don't send your kid to private, or make other sacrifices to make it work for you.

Does not every child deserve the best education?
My view is that the private school is there for all the kids that have succeeded in getting admitted. For those it is not a luxury.
Public school is not the best place for every child. Some of them do not offer even a decent education
Country club is a luxury

TAG public schools are there to provide an excellent free education for all kids good enough to get in. public schools serve an entirely different purpose. We are not a socialist country and the rich have the right, in our country, to segregate themselves from the poor. That is their right. Also, it is the right of the religious to segregate themselves from people who do not share their religion (say, the amish)

You seem to have a very strange idea of the purpose of private schools, and are confusing them with TAG schools.

I'm 12:49 and yes I know too many people doing this and I'm not convinced that it is fraud. If you have debt, and virtually no savings then the school takes this in account. A neighbor and others that I know do this. It is possible that there is another way for them to own a 600k + home, drive luxury cars, dual income earners and get aid. Also, most of them are not minorities. I have only met 1 family that makes me feel happy that I gave. Meaning they seem really deserving. They are very nice, grateful and have very high expectations for their DC.

Have you actually visited a public school that is known to not be a good school?
Maybe you should do that before saying you know why someone would prefer a private school

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like the tone of PP who is saying private school is a luxury, and I think GOOD schools shouldn't be a luxury, they should be a right, and every child should go to a really good school. But till that day comes...people who have crappy local schools will do their damndest to send their kids to a better schools.

How do you define good? I don't know you so I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but unfortunately lot of people around here only consider a school "good" if most of the children who attend it do not receive free lunch. Frankly, for some people, a good school that every child could go to would no longer be exclusive enough for them to consider it a good school. I'm not sure what city or county you are referring to but my county (Mongtomery) has excellent schools, and when people refer to some of them as "crappy," they are referring to their opinion of the particular group of children who attend them. Which is very unseemly to me.

pp
I think you are clueless
Obviously we are not talking about kids receiving free lunches.

Not pp, but I certainly wouldn't classify it is "obvious" that is not what people are talking about. The nearly reflexive attitudes on this board is that the only possible way a public school can be good is if there aren't a lot of poor kids there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like the tone of PP who is saying private school is a luxury, and I think GOOD schools shouldn't be a luxury, they should be a right, and every child should go to a really good school. But till that day comes...people who have crappy local schools will do their damndest to send their kids to a better schools.

How do you define good? I don't know you so I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but unfortunately lot of people around here only consider a school "good" if most of the children who attend it do not receive free lunch. Frankly, for some people, a good school that every child could go to would no longer be exclusive enough for them to consider it a good school. I'm not sure what city or county you are referring to but my county (Mongtomery) has excellent schools, and when people refer to some of them as "crappy," they are referring to their opinion of the particular group of children who attend them. Which is very unseemly to me.

pp
I think you are clueless
Obviously we are not talking about kids receiving free lunches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I mean...what if you had to sell the giant house you can't afford in order to send your kid to the fancy school you can't afford. It's like Sophie's Choice all over again. :roll:

Are you serious ? Sophie's choice was over which child would go to the gas chamber and which might live and not choosing meant both would be murdered.

OMG! This was clearly a sarcastic response. It is hilarious. You obviously do not get sarcasm.

Anonymous wrote:I don't like the tone of PP who is saying private school is a luxury, and I think GOOD schools shouldn't be a luxury, they should be a right, and every child should go to a really good school. But till that day comes...people who have crappy local schools will do their damndest to send their kids to a better schools.

How do you define good? I don't know you so I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but unfortunately lot of people around here only consider a school "good" if most of the children who attend it do not receive free lunch. Frankly, for some people, a good school that every child could go to would no longer be exclusive enough for them to consider it a good school. I'm not sure what city or county you are referring to but my county (Mongtomery) has excellent schools, and when people refer to some of them as "crappy," they are referring to their opinion of the particular group of children who attend them. Which is very unseemly to me.