I graduated in 2010. My parents paid for tuition, housing, meal plan. They also helped out with a few "big" expenses like a suit for job interviews and my flights abroad for study abroad. But I was responsible for most other things: books, restaurants, clothes, travel, etc. I saved from summer jobs and also picked up small part-time jobs during the school year.

In my family the feeling is that if my parents are covering the college costs, I'm on my own for the rest. And it makes sense, really - I feel really lucky to not have huge student loans; why would I expect my parents to give me an allowance on top of paying thousands to put me through college? It does everyone good to have some responsibility for their own budgeting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got $100/wk in college plus a credit card that I used for bigger (pre-approved) purchases like a sorority formal dress.

Original poster here. Thanks for your reply. Are you a recent graduate? Were you on a college meal plan or did you use some of the money for basic food?

Sorry, that information would have been helpful I graduated in 2006, which feels more recent than it actually is! I did have a partial meal plan that I used for breakfast and lunch usually on weekdays. Reading over all of these posts I feel sorry for some of the kids whose parents don't give them any money. I don't think you need to go crazy with it, but at the same time my social life would really have been impacted if I didn't have any money. I also graduated early and worked hard to make good grades, and if I had felt the pressure to work 20 hours per week, that would not have been possible. I do think the cost of living in your child's area matters too. I was in a city, but a relatively inexpensive one in the midwest. If I had been living in DC or something, things would have cost more.

PP here.

Clearly it all comes down to what you want your child’s college experience to be and to what extent you will help them. I am not certainly not naïve about what happens on a college campus. I attended college and grad school as did my DH. So I know that my kids are not studying 40 hours a week. Honestly though, when I look back on my college years, I was able to attend school functions (including sporting events), to be active and volunteer in causes that I believed in, study hard enough to get good grades, and have a decent social life. My parents gave me $20 a week allowance but some of my expenses were paid by academic scholarship. Starting my junior year, I worked 6 hours a day 6 days a week. But by then, I had chosen my major, I had learned how to manage my time, my social life was established, and I was used to being away from home. And it was still a struggle. I do not view it as a badge of honor and do not want my kids' college career to be as hard as mine.

I view college as career prep, but it is also about the kid growing up and “finding themselves.” That can include any number of experiences, including work. At the same time, I believe that parents need to position their kids for success. Part of that is creating a situation where the kid can get off to a good start academically – and not have to worry about money to pay rent or buy toothpaste (or eat). As I said, my kids are ambitious and they work hard, so once we determine that they can handle a job too, we will allow them to work. But right now, they get a small allowance and I have no problem with it – it was our call as parents.

Anonymous wrote:i notice most Asian families pay for their kids college but expect them to study and obtain useful degrees. The whole find yourself bullshit can be done on the student's own dime.

I am missing how this relates to the amount of allowance you give your college student.

i notice most Asian families pay for their kids college but expect them to study and obtain useful degrees. The whole find yourself bullshit can be done on the student's own dime.

^ Sorry - lets not let's...

OP here. Thanks to many for truly thoughtful responses - and that includes those who don't agree with my decision but were able to respond in a helpful, civil way. I must say that I wonder why so many people are so snarky and judgmental on this forum though. Does it massage your ego to put others down or do you need to channel aggressive impulses and the anonymity of this site let's you do so without consequence?

Anonymous wrote:I understand student athletes who usually cannot hold on-campus jobs because of their schedules and/or NCAA rules.

However, you are all out of touch with how much studying goes on. College is 4 years of laying around, going to class 2ish hours a day TOPS, hanging out with friends, having sex, partying, staying up late ordering pizza, and maybe studying 5ish hours a week. You kid totally has time to work 10hours a week if she really wanted or needed money. I went to a top 20 university and even my friends who were engineers or pre-med never spent more than a couple of hours a day on classes and hw (exception, obviously, for exam studying).

It's your prerogative if you want to give you child an allowance( or if there are no job options...which i doubt but might be true for small, rural colleges), but don't be so disillusioned to think they're soooooooo busy studying they can't find a few hours a week to work and make some pocket cash.

We can agree to disagree. And, BTW, I think maybe you meant naive instead of disillusioned - right?

Anonymous wrote:When I was in grad school, I had a PT job. My student loan covered my tuition, mortgage, food, and bills. After that, I had about $100 left each month. I never felt poor, but looking back, I guess I was. Regardless, this is part of the college experience, being resourceful and learning that money doesn't grow on trees, not being given a free ride by mom and dad.

Sorry, I meant between that and my student loan, I covered my...

When I was in grad school, I had a PT job. My student loan covered my tuition, mortgage, food, and bills. After that, I had about $100 left each month. I never felt poor, but looking back, I guess I was. Regardless, this is part of the college experience, being resourceful and learning that money doesn't grow on trees, not being given a free ride by mom and dad.

Anonymous wrote:Have her get a job. Problem fixed. God, you are already paying for all her shit, do you really need to give nher money for her 'shampoo' (which could be anything from shampoo to alcahol)

Civil discourse only. Thanks.

I understand student athletes who usually cannot hold on-campus jobs because of their schedules and/or NCAA rules.

However, you are all out of touch with how much studying goes on. College is 4 years of laying around, going to class 2ish hours a day TOPS, hanging out with friends, having sex, partying, staying up late ordering pizza, and maybe studying 5ish hours a week. You kid totally has time to work 10hours a week if she really wanted or needed money. I went to a top 20 university and even my friends who were engineers or pre-med never spent more than a couple of hours a day on classes and hw (exception, obviously, for exam studying).

It's your prerogative if you want to give you child an allowance( or if there are no job options...which i doubt but might be true for small, rural colleges), but don't be so disillusioned to think they're soooooooo busy studying they can't find a few hours a week to work and make some pocket cash.

Anonymous wrote:Paid for tuition also including room and board / apartment w/ utilities with an additional allowance of $800 a month. Living in the city is more expensive it costs at least 30-50 a day to eat. Do you really want to shit on your kids with student loan debt.

Wow - I thought my kids were spoiled but they look like paupers in comparison. I live in the city and eat for less than $50 a day. I have no problem paying $50k+ for tuition, room and board but I am not kicking in $50/day for food and entertainment.

My kid is on athletic scholarship so her ability to hold a job is SEVERELY limited at best – from November to March she is not allowed to work. So yes, we give her an allowance of $60 a week and we will give a little extra some months. I do not have to pay for college (she is paying by using her athletic ability) and she cannot work, so it is perfectly reasonable for me to give her some money.

Paid for tuition also including room and board / apartment w/ utilities with an additional allowance of $800 a month. Living in the city is more expensive it costs at least 30-50 a day to eat. Do you really want to shit on your kids with student loan debt.