Just curious, people who only like new clothing, do you guys have little girls or little boys? I have a 3 year old son, and while I have purhased him some cute baby gap stuff in addition to target, I'm always happy to take hand me downs of any sort. He's super hard on clothes, is always getting dirty, and often wipes his nose on his sleeve. I like him to look good as much as the next mom, but it only seems to last 15 minutes or so after I get him dressed in the morning.

I dont like hand me downs, and my DH's family and work friends are constantly offering them and insisting we take them and he thinks it's rude to say no. Including old toys and feeding supplies and old toy furniture. I dont want any of it and it just takes up space and we will have to make some trips to goodwill.

Anonymous wrote:If a friend offers you hand-me-down clothes for your new baby, do you see this as an unwanted imposition to which you are obligated to say yes, or do you really want the clothes? I have a pregnant friend (we aren't that close, though), and I can't tell whether she really wants my DCs' baby clothes that I offered, or just felt bad saying no. When I was pregnant, I was delighted to receive hand-me-downs, but I don't know if this is the norm. TIA.

Just donate them because there are so many people who need, and who will appreciate, hand-me down clothes. These are new to them.

I also thought "leftovers" was an interesting choice of words, but I guess to each their own. We have mostly new clothes now (thanks Grandma), but they're also mostly Target. When DS was an infant, we got a ton of hand me downs from good friends who'd used them on their 3 kids - they still looked just fine, and given the amount DS spit up, they worked great. And I couldn't get DS into "nicer" clothes if I wanted to - now that he's older he hates the feel of jeans, and prefers t-shirts with trucks on them. So that's what we go with.

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Anonymous wrote:Some of you act like ALL hand-me-downs are ugly. Can't you mix and match the best of the donated stuff with some of the things you purchased to make your "cute" outfits?

I appreciate anything given or donated. Like other PPs I also wouldn't want conditions imposed or a "loan." Life is too stressful as it is to keep those kind of records.

Why can't you accept the fact that some people just don't want hand-me-downs? THIS IS NOT A REFLECTION ON THOSE WHO WANT THEM. This has NOTHING to do with those who want them. This is how WE FEEL. We don't demand that you justify why you want hand-me-downs. Why do we have to justify our feelings to you?

Not PP. It's not about justifying your feelings, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to reduce the carbon footprint. We all have obligations to this planet, to each other and to future generations including your children. This is, if not small, but practical way to "recycle".

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Anonymous wrote:Why can't you accept the fact that some people just don't want hand-me-downs? THIS IS NOT A REFLECTION ON THOSE WHO WANT THEM. This has NOTHING to do with those who want them. This is how WE FEEL. We don't demand that you justify why you want hand-me-downs. Why do we have to justify our feelings to you?

My guess is it's because someone referred to hand me downs as "taking leftovers" which doesn't exactly have a nice, neutral conotation. It does reek of some form of "better than you" judgement by someone with a closet full of full-price Janie & Jack.

I prefer to have my DD in new clothes. I think I posted on a thread a while back that I grew up in a family that wasn't poor, but certainly wasn't rich. Going to school at a fairly wealthy high school, I did have self esteem issues that my clothes were from the Marshalls of the world while my classmates had name-brand clothes. It's silly, but generally I do like her in new clothes.

That being said, I've gladly accepted hand-me-downs and then culled out the pieces that I love the best, that aren't too worn. I've also found great deals on eBay on clothes that are new or have been worn once. So, I make exceptions to my own general preference. I love people who like hand me downs since I hate to think that I pay for nice clothes and then they have nowhere to go.

Was your DD in daycare or with nanny? It's harder to keep clothes nice when DC is in daycare. At our house, nice clothes are reserved for weekends and special occasions.

OP, giving left overs is really not a big deal. One exception may be new moms who want everything to be just right. But, she will soon get over that. Just tell her to pass it on to another family if she does not want them. So she feels no obligation.

My SIL gave me a big batch of used baby stuff when my DD was born. I thought it looked like junk. But I end up using some and other wise it would not have occurred to me to buy them. Also saved tons of money. BRU & BBB are not cheap.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you accept the fact that some people just don't want hand-me-downs? THIS IS NOT A REFLECTION ON THOSE WHO WANT THEM. This has NOTHING to do with those who want them. This is how WE FEEL. We don't demand that you justify why you want hand-me-downs. Why do we have to justify our feelings to you?

My guess is it's because someone referred to hand me downs as "taking leftovers" which doesn't exactly have a nice, neutral conotation. It does reek of some form of "better than you" judgement by someone with a closet full of full-price Janie & Jack.

I prefer to have my DD in new clothes. I think I posted on a thread a while back that I grew up in a family that wasn't poor, but certainly wasn't rich. Going to school at a fairly wealthy high school, I did have self esteem issues that my clothes were from the Marshalls of the world while my classmates had name-brand clothes. It's silly, but generally I do like her in new clothes.

That being said, I've gladly accepted hand-me-downs and then culled out the pieces that I love the best, that aren't too worn. I've also found great deals on eBay on clothes that are new or have been worn once. So, I make exceptions to my own general preference. I love people who like hand me downs since I hate to think that I pay for nice clothes and then they have nowhere to go.

I like hand me downs too. Almost all of my baby clothes are gymboree, gap and tea collection. I could never afford them new (although I hit the gap and gymboree clearance racks after Xmas and scored some awesome deals..cheaper than consignment stores!) But you really can pick and choose and get some really cute stuff second hand and donate whatever you don't like. It just takes a little creativity. That said, I am grateful to all the women who hate hand me downs and buy everything new because that is how hand me downs are generated in the first place! So THANK YOU moms who buy nice things new and then hand down, sell, ebay etc the clothes when you are done!

Anonymous wrote:Some of you act like ALL hand-me-downs are ugly. Can't you mix and match the best of the donated stuff with some of the things you purchased to make your "cute" outfits?

I appreciate anything given or donated. Like other PPs I also wouldn't want conditions imposed or a "loan." Life is too stressful as it is to keep those kind of records.

Why can't you accept the fact that some people just don't want hand-me-downs? THIS IS NOT A REFLECTION ON THOSE WHO WANT THEM. This has NOTHING to do with those who want them. This is how WE FEEL. We don't demand that you justify why you want hand-me-downs. Why do we have to justify our feelings to you?

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Anonymous wrote:I hate hand me downs. I do not want someone's used clothes for myself or my child even if it is in great condition. Of course, I would probably nicely accept them because I would feel bad and then donate them

Every clothing item your baby wears is brand new?

Yes, it is. It is not expensive at all though, mainly target. I just do not feel comfortable putting someone elses socks or shirts on my child. I do not look down on anyone that likes or needs handmedowns, but they just aren't for me

It's not like it's a complete stranger though, it's your friend's child? And they are babies! And you wash them! This is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

(NP) so what if you know where they are coming from. I agree, I prefer buying clothing for my kids to hand-me-downs. But I have of course passed clothes from my oldest dd to my youngest--because I picked the clothes. I like my kids to look good.

We can accept that you want to accept leftovers from others; no need to say it's "silly" for us not to feel the same as you do.

This board is so depressing - I should have been a lawyer and married a lawyer, and then I would have enough money to buy baby gap and designer clothes for my children. Instead I get by on hand me downs and GASP! department store clothes. My kids must be dressed so fugly compared to yours, PP. You probably wouldn't want to me my friend because my kids are dressed so poorly.

If you are feeling depressed by the comments of a random stranger whom you will never meet, you need therapy (or meds). Why do so many people on this board take it personally when someone has a different opinion about something? Grow up. (Incidentally, I never mentioned a thing about being a lawyer, or only buying designer clothing. Also, I don't give a rat's ass about how anyone else dresses their kid. I wouldn't want to be your friend because you whine too much, not because of how you dress your kids.)

my baby's clothes have shrunk so much, i don't even think i'll be able to use them for a 2nd child, let alone want to give them to anyone else!

I really like hand me downs, as long as they seem like they will be comfortable for DS (e.g., not starchy, stiff, itchy etc.). I could afford to buy new clothes for DS, but he tends to get them really messy, and feel like what is the point of putting more money in some clothing company's pocket when there are perfectly nice clothes available for free!
My son is a toddler now and it isn't like I could force him to be some little fashion plate even if I wanted to - he has his own ideas about what he wants to wear, and is happy with much of the free stuff.

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Anonymous wrote:I hate hand me downs. I do not want someone's used clothes for myself or my child even if it is in great condition. Of course, I would probably nicely accept them because I would feel bad and then donate them

Every clothing item your baby wears is brand new?

Yes, it is. It is not expensive at all though, mainly target. I just do not feel comfortable putting someone elses socks or shirts on my child. I do not look down on anyone that likes or needs handmedowns, but they just aren't for me

It's not like it's a complete stranger though, it's your friend's child? And they are babies! And you wash them! This is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

(NP) so what if you know where they are coming from. I agree, I prefer buying clothing for my kids to hand-me-downs. But I have of course passed clothes from my oldest dd to my youngest--because I picked the clothes. I like my kids to look good.

We can accept that you want to accept leftovers from others; no need to say it's "silly" for us not to feel the same as you do.

leftovers? that is an interesting word choice.

I love hand me downs (as another poster said both economically and environmentally). I only use things that I (or my child) likes and are still in good condition. It also saves me so much shopping time when some drops most of a 2T summer wardrobe on my porch. I still buy for my kids and feel ok splurging when I do. I pass on to friends who can use them..I would not be offended if someone said no thanks at all.