Anonymous wrote:18:39 - written by a chick!

OP, are you a female? You sound like a catty, bitter female who saw cleavage on your DH's coworker. Cleavage happens. Get over it.

Go back to your homework, sweetie. We grownups have to live in the real world.

18:39 - written by a chick!

OP, are you a female? You sound like a catty, bitter female who saw cleavage on your DH's coworker. Cleavage happens. Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm in now way trying to get her to not dress sexily or to hide her beauty. However, in certain settings with social/work contacts I feel as if people are leering at my wife and that's a bit uncomfortable. I agree that DC is a conservative town with a herd mentality but those are the rules we signed up for when we all moved here.

OP, this is a little silly. I didn't sign up for any such rules. DC is a very diverse city. There can be a cookie cutter style thing going on in certain contexts, but that is by no means the whole story. I commute in through NE DC and see certain styles, and then totally different ones in Bethesda.

Talk to your wife about this if you like, but keep in mind that personal style can be very, well, personal. She may - or may not - appreciate your unsolicited feedback.

But OP is right, the rules exist, even if some people have not "signed up" for them. If OP's business partners are looking at his wife funny, then this just proves she's subject to the rules, whether or not she's on board with them. Just think of the sexy blond in The Help -- she did her own thing, and her DH loved her for it, but most of the other women isolated her. She was still affected by their rules....

And yeah, in some situations it's great to give the finger to other peoples' rules. But not if it's affecting his business relationships, unless he can afford it. Which is why I leave the low-cut cocktail miniskirt and heels in the closet when I head to the office myself!

So OP, maybe you can approach this with DW by telling her how fantastic she looks, she's the hottest in the room ... but I wonder if the CEO's wife doesn't feel a little insecure next to you, honey. We need the CEO's wife to be on our side, how should we approach this... blah, blah, blah.

Talk to your wife, OP. Very often beauty is better appreciated and approached when it is discreet rather than revealing. Think mystery.

At a party organized by my boyfriend (now husband) to present me to his extended family, someone came accompanied by his new wife - a beautiful woman, or at least she would have been, had she not been dressed like a prostitute. Everyone was embarrassed for her, and no one really struck up a conversation with her because her personal appearance was so clearly intended to divide the sexes. The man was obliviously proud of his wife, but they divorced shortly after.

I assume women who dress boob-over-the-top sexy at events like chidlren's parties are insecure. I'm not jealous and my husband isn't envious.

Your wife can wish all day long that her clothes don't put people off but that won't make it so. I will talk with her and try to see the real her but I will also start with the assumption that she is insecure, not too bright, and views the world in terms of male-female relationships, a view I hate.

On more thing: just as sneakers and sweats are not always appropriate, extreme cleavage is not always appropriate.

I beg to differ. Sexy (not skanky) is ALWAYS cool.

Not always--Sexy at a funeral is not cool. There is a time and a place for sexy. Business functions are generally no the place. That seems to be OPs concern. I would talk to her (gently) and explain that while you generally love how she dresses you would prefer that she be a little less flamboyant when you are at business functions. If she pushes you for more information, be honest that people are talking. Perhaps she just doesn't understand the fine line between appropriate and inappropriate as it relates to different settings.

Ew, a big head is huge turn off. It makes them look like a caricature! Then the kids have huge heads too, which looks funny.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what you mean...

her head's big - as big as her behind

OP, I have seen plenty of women since I moved here who have eating disorders (commonly known as daddy issues) - leave her be and be thankful.