We send thank you notes for gifts where we aren't able to thank the gift giver in person. I do so based on this Emily Post article:

http://www.emilypost.com/communication-and-technology/notes-and-letters/99-thank-you-notes-to-send-or-not-to-send

The exception would be for showers. I'd also apply that to a birthday party where the presents aren't opened in front of guests, since a generic "thanks for the gift" doesn't seem appropriate.

Anonymous wrote:Question, when writing thank you notes for a kids birthday party, if the kid is too young to write it themselves, do you write it for them as if they were writing it themselves or do you write it as the parent thanking the gift giver for the gift?

I write it for DD. I will ask her about each gift (what do you think of your new X? What's your favorite part about gift Y? Etc) and try to include something that she said about the gift in the note.

We've used some cards like this for the little ones: http://www.myexpression.com/Kids-Thank-You-Cards.htm

I grew up always writing thank you notes and my kids do now. Doesn't matter if they thank the giver in person, we still write for all gifts (unless is closest relatives who we see all the time - grandmother who stays with us over Christmas, other set of grands we see multiple times a week - then it's every once in a while for bigger gifts).

We have received thank you notes for some of the birthday parties we have been to but not all. The only time I worry is when I've sent a gift and get no response at all - I don't feel like I'm owed a thank-you note and it doesn't really bother me not to get them - I just worry that the gift didn't arrive.

For youngest I just wrote a really short note or used templates like the above - the nice thing about the templates is that as DD has gotten older, she can use them to reinforce the habit without too much frustration.